Listen to me dog before you start to whine, that side’s yours and this side’s mine. Move it on over. Rock it on over. Move over little dog, a big, old dog is movin’ in. -George Thorogood & The Destroyers
Like that little chihuahua next door, the New York Jets continue to yip. Like that little chihuahua next door, the New York Jets continue to yap. Yipping and yapping. Flipping and flapping. All day long at school I hear how terrible Tom Brady is at this or how horrible Tom Brady did that! Brady! Brady! Brady! You know what I say? I say what Mr. Blonde says. I say, “Are you gonna bark all day, little doggy, or are you gonna bite?”
As you well know, most recently, Jets cornerback Antonio Cromartie triggered some more verbal jousting by calling Tom Brady a bad name. This isn’t surprising. When Cromartie was with San Diego, Tom Brady owned the San Diego Super Chargers. Owned them real good like. Like Beverly from Episodes always says, “Tom Brady bends your Chargers over the sofa and buggers them from behind.” Buggerred them in the regular season. Buggerred them in post season. For San Diego, facing Tom Brady and the Patriots was like Ewing and the Knicks having to play the old Chicago Bulls back in the Michael Jordan era. New York would gear up to make their best run, and Jordan would inevitably posterize Patrick en route to another title. So it was with the Chargers and Tom Brady’s Patriots.
So now Cromartie resorts to calling Tom Brady names. Let him. Joe Montana called Tom Brady names too. That’s right. Joe Montana. You might have heard of him. Joe Montana called Tom Brady the best quarterback of this era. So do I. Not only that, and with all due respect to Joe Montana, I call Tom Brady the best quarterback that’s ever been borned. Regardless of what Rex Ryan says, nobody in the locker room works harder or studies more diligently than Tom Brady. Years of compulsive fine-tuning have made Brady a master of his craft. Like Borat before him, Brady’s become, “King in the castle! King in the castle! Go do dis, go do dis.” That’s right Antonio Cromartie, go do dis, go do dis. Go get your fuckin’ shinebox. Go get your fuckin’ shinebox because this is what Tom Brady is going to do to you come Sunday:
Peace out homies. Six two and even!