Remember this guy? Huh? Remember? Dmitri’s little brother? You remember Dmitri, don’t you? Dmitri’s the guy who went all Peter McNab and broke a guy’s glasses? Ya, him. His little brother. Ya, Delmon. He was on Deadspin. They wrote Delmon Young…Still A Dick. Ya, him. Well, he went off last night. Last night, in a game the Tigers needed to win, the Delmonster done went off and won it for ‘em. The Delmoster has been doing a lot of lately. Last night, Young went out and crushed a pair of bombs deep into the big dark night for the winners-winners chicken dinners. Hit a pair of bombs after hitting three more before against the Yankees. There hasn’t been this much excitement in Detroit since Jerry Coleman said: “Johnny Grubb slides into second with a standup double.” Delmon has been exciting since he got here. After the trade, after the trade and down the stretch, after that he smashed eight taters and knocked in 32 runs down the stretch for Detroit. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Delmon Young Bitch!
There’s a starman waiting in the sky. He’d like to come and meet us, but he thinks he’d blow our minds. -David Bowie
After seeing the above preview for the Bill Lee documentary SPACEMAN: A Baseball Odyssey, my mind began to wander. It began to wander to a simpler place in time. It began to wander to when you could get still get baseball cards for a dime. It began to wanter to when Bill Lee was in his junk ball prime. Aaah Bill Lee, prophet in his own mind. Bill “the Spaceman” Lee, my favorite baseball player of all time.
We live we die. We laugh and we cry. We know not why. Bent on a life between the lines. End on a sign of the times. -Bryan Ferry
For some time now you’ve been hearing it. For some time now, us Sox fans have been jeering it. Paul Revering it. One if by land, and two if by sea. And I, on the opposite shore will be, ready to ride and spread the alarm. I’m ready to spread the alarm. I’m ready to tell you Mariano Rivera is on his last legs. I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking, “Just another douchebag Boston fan trying to stick it to the Yankees. Maybe you’re right. Afterall, it was William Shakespeare who said, “In time, we hate what we often fear.” Thing is, as time wears on, Mariano is less fearful. He’s 41 years old for gosh sakes. 41! Everybody gets old, even the great ones. When Shaquille O’Neal was asked his opinion about Michael Jordan’s comeback in Washington, Shaq Daddy simply replied, “39 ain’t 29, bro”. No it ain’t.
I am a patriot, I love my country, because my country is all I know. -Pearl Jam
What’s crack-a-lacking sports fans. I’ll tell you what’s crack-a-lacking. NFL Football is crack-a-lacking. Lockout schmockout. Do you smell it? Ooh, ooh that smell. Can’t you smell that smell? Ooh, ooh that smell. The smell of
death football surrounds you. That’s right. NFL football. NFL Patriots football. Tonight! It’s here. It’s finally here. Hooray football! Like my main Tom Landry always says, “Football is an incredible game. Sometimes it’s so incredible, it’s unbelievable.” True dat.
Maybe in time I’ll see things in a different way, but all I can think about is right now and right now you let me down. Right now you let me down. You let me down. -Black Flag
There was a time Adam Dunn was one of the premier left-handed power hitters in all of baseball who showed great patience at the plate. I know, I know, this cat has been known to stike out a lot, but he has nonetheless compiled a career on-base percentage above .380. In fact, coming in to this season, Dunn has been one of the game’s most prolific sluggers going for seven consecutive seasons with at least 38 bombs and a hefty .850 OPS. That’s why Billy Williams and the White Sox signed him for all that money. The White Sox, reeling from their 2010 finish when they failed to win the AL Central, desperately wanted a left-handed bat. Desperately seeking Susan. They tried several times during the summer to trade for Dunn, but couldn’t reach an agreement with the Nationals. They even entertained the idea of bringing back DH Jim Thome, who helped the Minnesota Twins to the division title last season. But no, they ultimately signed Dunn. Like my main John Belushi always says, “I came out here, I didn’t have to. I could have stayed in my dressing room, by myself, and let you die out here alone. But nooooo! I gotta come out here and help you, and what do you do? You turn on me like a shark!”
Just what makes that little old ant think he’ll move that rubber tree plant? Anyone knows an ant, can’t…move a rubber tree plant. But he’s got high hopes. He’s got high hopes. He’s got high apple pie, in the sky hopes. -Frank Sinatra
Ok, here we go! I hate to sound like the oldest guy in the barbershop, but lately, when I hear all the criticism flying Tim Tebow’s way, all I could think of were those nasty little naysayers a few years back. All I could think of were those nasty little not today sayers a few years back. Those nasty little no way Jose sayers a few years back. I thought of them and I thought of Doug Flutie.
Carl Yastrzemski once said, “I remember I was a scared rookie, hitting .220 after the first three months of my baseball season, and doubting my ability.” Here are some guys who don’t have to doubt nothin’. But before we get to them, I want to get to something else. I want to get to the greatest rookie of them all. I want to get to Freddy Lynn. Rookie, rookie. Who gets the cookie. Who’s got the woh oh oh oh, woh oh oh oh, right stuff? Freddy Lynn had the right stuff. That marshmallow fluff. Sho’ nuff. The Rookie of the Year Award should now and forever more be called the Fred Lynn Award. The best rookie season evah. Evah! Sherman, set the way back machine to 1975. Fenway Pahk. Rookie Fred Lynn in center. Rookie Big Jim Ed Rice in left. The Gold Dust Twins. But Jim Ed got hurt, and Freddy turned out to be goldener. Stay gold, Freddy. Stay gold.
Oh, the good old days. Roddy Piper smashes a bottles over his head and shows those no good Sheepherders who’s boss. Saddle your ponies, you bet!
Peace out homies. Six two and even!
I’m winning. I’m winning. I’m winning. And I don’t intend on losing again. -Santana
Jake Westbrook throws heavy and boring 90-mph sinker. A stinker of a sinker. Jake Westbrook throws a stinker of a sinker that when it’s going right, is very tough to beat. I know. I’ve seen it. I’ve seen up close and personal. I saw it up close and personal back in 2007. I saw it up close and personal back in 2007 during Game 3 of the American League Championship Series. Back in 2007 during Game 3 of the American League Championship Series, Westbrook’s sinker was going right. He did allow a two-run homer to Jason Varitek in the seventh, but otherwise, he throttled my beloved Red Sox. Throttled ‘em real good like. Of the 20 outs that Westbrook recorded that day, only three came on balls hit to the outfield. He ended three innings with double-play grounders, one with the bases loaded in the second. That’s what Jake Westbrook looks like when his sinker is going right. That’s what he’s been looking like for much of this season.
Thanks to the good folks over at CBS Sports for this.
Peace out homies. Six two and even!