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Giving Peyton Manning A Reach Around

By: josh q. public on: Monday, November 1, 2010 @11:00 am

Giving Peyton Manning A Reach Around

The MVP of the game, intensity still the same.  I’m shootin out from my reign, with Peyton Manning type aim.  It’s the heart of a champion.  -Nelly

Public Service Announcement:  Ok, here we go!  It is no secret that over here at JQP Productions we are New England Patriots fans.  Being Patriots fans inherently means hating the Indianapolis Colts.  Ipso facto, we also hate Peyton Manning.  Don’t believe me?  Just ask Dollar Bill Simmons.  In Patriot Nation, we all believe Tom Brady is the best quarterback that has ever been borned.  When there is trouble, I’m there on the double.  From Atlantic to Pacific, they know Tom Terrific!  But, like my main man Screamin’ Steven A. Smith always says, “Howeva!”  However, it’s high time I gave Peyton Manning his due.           

This season the Colts have been decimated by injuries.  They have been oppressimated with injuries.  Downright diststressimated with injuries.  Dallas Clark, who has the most receptions for any tight end since the start of the 2008 season, is out for the year.  Four players — linebacker Kavell Conner, safety Bob Sanders, wide receiver Austin Collie and defensive tackle Antonio Johnson — have already been ruled out for tonight’s game.  Eight other Colts appeared on the injury report this week including Joseph Addai who has not practiced all week and is listed as doubtful.  His backup, Donald Brown, is listed as questionable.  Also questionable are wide receivers Pierre Garcon, Anthony Gonzalez, and Reggie Wayne and corner backs Jacob Lacey and Jerraud Powers.

Yet somehow, the Colts are still favored in tonight’s game against the Texans.  Yet somehow, Texans coach Gary Kubiak said he doesn’t believe the Colts will be any less dangerous regardless of who is in the lineup.  That somehow is Peyton Manning.  Peyton Manning is the Paulie Cicero of the NFL.  Business bad?  Fuck you, pay me.  Oh, you had a fire?  Fuck you, pay me.  Place got hit by lightning, huh?  Fuck you, pay me.  Manning’s been making folks pay for some time now.  Kubiak:  “”It doesn’t matter a lick.  It doesn’t change what they do.  They do the same thing.  Whoever is out there, Peyton Manning gets them the ball.”

Getting them the ball, he most certainly does.  Without Dallas Clark, with all the dinged up receivers, Manning is still averaging 42.3 passes, 28.5 completions and 319.3 passing yards per game this season.  Big deal, you say?  Who carees, you say?  I say, at this rate, Peyton is on pace for 456 completions and 5, 109 passing yards.  I say, at this rate, Peyton will break the NFL single-season records for completions and passing yards.  Records held by Drew Brees (440 in 2007) and Dan Marino (5,084 in 1984) respectively.  That’s saying something.  That’s saying a lot.

I’ll say somethiong more.  He’s doing all this Timex style.  Taking a licking and keeping on ticking.  Taking a licking while being hit before or during the act of passing on 40 throws this season.  Taking a licking already more than halfway to his total for the entire 2009 season.  Yowza!  Still, Manning is leading the Colts atop the AFC South.  Still, Manning is leading the Colts yet another post-season bid.  Still Manning is the most feared quarterback in football.

I know of only one other quarterback in the National Football League who could do as much with as little with this year’s edition of the Colts.  But this isn’t about Tom Brady.  This is about Peyton Manning and I’m not the kind the kind of guy that would fuck a person in the ass and not even have the goddamn common courtesy to give him a reach-around.  I have to do like Fatboy Slim.  I have to celebrate you baby.  I have to praise you like I should.

Public Spectacle:

Peace out homies.  Six two and Even!

Share the love baby!

Need More? Indianapolis Colts,NFL,Peyton Manning

  1. 1
    Fredo Says:

    It's amazing that you can jibber about the Jet's and Jabber about Manning and still find a way to give Brady and the Pat's a reach around

  2. 2
    joshqpublic Says:

    is it? is it really? they are the best team in football and all.

  3. 3
    Fredo Says:

    In record only, Write this down … The Patriots are ONE and DONE in this years playoffs…….. Case of Pabst?

  4. 4
    joshqpublic Says:

    How dare you! TWO cases!