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The Boston Red Sox Seder Plate

By: josh q. public on: Monday, March 29, 2010 @11:09 am

The Boston Red Sox Seder Plate

If we took a holiday, took some time to celebrate, just one day out of life…It would be, it would be so nice.  -Madonna

Public Service Announcement:  Ok, here we go!  As many of you know, and for the those of you who don’t, tonight is the first night of Passover.  As many of you know, and for the those of you who don’t, Passover is a festival that commemorates the release of the Israelites from slavery in Egypt.  Hooray Israelites!  Passover is also a celebration of the birth of the Jewish nation after being freed from captivity.  Sound familliar?  Does to me.  Sounds an awful lot like 2004 to me.  You rememember 2004, don’t you?  Sure you do.  2004 was the year the Red Sox were releassed from an 86 year baseball slavery.  2004 was the year the Red Sox defeated the Evil Empire.  2004 was the birth of Red Sox Nation.  Hooray Red Sox Nation!          

The Boston Red Sox Seder PlateAt a traditional Passover, the Passover Seder Plate contains symbolic foods that have special significance to the retelling of the story of the exodus.  At a Red Sox Passover, the Seder Plate would look a little something like this:

Nomar Garciaparra Baseball Card

A shank bone traditionally represents the lamb that was the special sacrifice on the eve of the exodus from Egypt.  In it’s stead, at Red Sox Passover, we use a Nomar Garciaparra baseball card.  Nomar was the face of the Red Sox.  He was a superstar in the mold of the legendary Ted Williams whose indelible achievements will endure in the memories of generations of New Englanders.  In 2004, in the middle of a pennant race, in one of the most momentous transactions in the annals of the Olde Towne Team, the Red Sox sacrificed Garciaparra and dispatched the two-time American League batting champion to the Chicago Cubs.

Rawlings MLB Official Baseball

The hardboiled egg represents renewal as does a brand spankin’ new Rawlings MLB official baseball.  Like my main man Alexander Pope always says, “Hope springs eternal in the human breast.  Man never is, but always to be blest.”  Nothing says hope quite like a brand new baseball.  The smell.  That fresh out of the box rawhide smell.  Nothing else in the world smells like that. 
I  love the smell of baseball in the morning.  Smells like…victory.  Someday this war’s gonna end.  It ended in 2004.

New York Yankees Hat

At passover, horseradish is passed around and eaten to represent the Israelites bitterness as they labored day and night for Pharaoh.  At Red Sox Passover, a New York Yankees hat is passed around and worn by all particpants to remind them of the bitterness they felt as they labored day and night under the Yankees in the American League East.  There can be no worse bitterness felt by a Red Sox fan than by putting on that hated cap.

Stale Pretzles & Flat Beer In A Wax Cup

Are you crying?  Are you crying?  Are you crying?  There’s no crying!  There’s no crying in baseball!  I know that’s what Jimmy Dugan says.  Clearly, Jimmy Dugan was never a Red Sox fan.  For 86 years we cried.  Too many teardrops for one heart to be cryin’.  Too many teardrops for one heart to carry on.  Parsley dipped in salt water represents the tears of the Israelites as they toiled in Egypt.  For our purposes, stale pretzles and flat beer in a wax cup work just as well.

Cracker Jacks

Take me out to the ball game.  Take me out with the crowd.  Buy me some peanuts and Cracker Jacks.  I don’t care if I never get back.  Is there a more joyous lyric than that?  Is there any lyric sweeter?  During Passover, a sweet apple and walnut mixture is served to represent the sweetness of sweet liberty itself.  Cracker Jacks are sweet.   They remind of us of all that once was good and could be again.  

Next year, at Fenway!

Public Spectacle:

Peace out homies.  Six two and Even!

Share the love baby!

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  1. 1

    Boy, you better hope God is a Sox fan. If your basement floods today, take that as a sign you've been smited.

  2. 2
    Red Sox Says:

    Boston Red Sox,
    With their rich history,
    Will remain always towers,
    Of sports, and friends of victory.
    As fans, we love them.
    As fans, we follow them.
    If they win we appreciate,
    If they lost, we keep support.
    Long live Red Sox!
    You deserve big prizes!
    Red Sox Tickets we do buy.
    For the price we do not cry!