Just Manny Being Amazing

It had to be you, it had to be you.  I wandered around, and finally found the somebody who could make me be true and could make me be blue.  -Frank Sinatra

Public Service Announcement:  Ok, here we go!  Make no mistakes about it, I love me some Manny Ramirez.  But, first thing’s first.  First thing is, I did not like the way Manny Ramirez went out.  Not one bit.  I did not like it in a box.  I did not like it with a fox.  I did like the two rings he brought to Boston.  I did like having the best right handed hitter that baseball has ever seen.  The best there’s ever been.  A lean mean hitting machine.  Liked it a lot.  But now he’s gone.  That’s life, that’s what all the people say.  You’re riding high in April.  Shot down in May.  But Manny changed that tune.  Now that he’s back on top, back on top in June July.      

If you stayed up late last night, you saw it.  I stayed up late.  I saw it. 

• Just like I saw Kirk Gibson.  “I don’t believe…what I just saw!  I don’t believe what I just saw!” 
• Just like I saw Kirby Puckett.  “Way back, way back, it’s gone!  Touch ‘em all, Kirby Puckett!  Touch ‘em all!” 
• Just like I saw Joe Carter.  “Joe Carter, with a three-run homer, the winners, and still world champions, the Toronto Blue Jays!” 
• Just like I saw Big Papi.  “Ortiz into deep right field, back is Sheffield, we’ll see you later tonight!” 

Yes sports fans, last night, I saw Mr. Manny Ramirez.

Last night, on Manny Bobble-Head night, I saw Ramirez came off the bench with the crowd in a frenzy.  Last night, I saw Ramirez came off the bench with the crowd in a frenzy and smash a pinch-hit grand slam deep into the heart of Mannywood for the first pinch-hit homer of his career.  Hooray Manny!  

Say what you want about Mr. Manny Ramirez, but know this.  Know that last season, after signing with the Los Angeles Dodgers, Ramirez batted .396.  Know Ramirez hit seventeen bombs.  Know he had fifty-three RBIs in those fifty-three games.  Know that he fell just one bomb shy of a truncated triple crown for that time for the entire Major League.

Last season, Manny was brought to Tinseltown for one reason and one reason only.  Your mission, should you choose to accept it, involves catching the Diamondbacks.  As always, should any member of your team be caught or killed, the Secretary will disavow all knowledge of your actions.  This message will self-destruct in five seconds.  Mission accomplished.  And beyond. 

Mission accomplished because because Manny rakes.  That’s what he does.  Cleveland.  Boston.  LA.  Manny rakes.  Good times.  Manny rakes.  Bad times.  Manny rakes.  Business bad?  Fuck you, pay me.  Oh, you had a fire?  Fuck you, pay me.  Place got hit by lightning huh?  Fuck you, pay me.  That’s what Manny being Manny is really all about.  You do the Hokey Pokey and you turn yourself around.  That’s what it’s all about!

Public Spectacle:

Peace out homies.  Six two and Even!

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