Regrets, I’ve had a few; but then again, too few to mention. I did what I had to do and saw it through without exemption. -Frank Sinatra
Public Service Announcement: Ok, here we go! I know my boy Jerod over at Midwest Sports Fans caught a lot of flack for a far more thought out piece than this. I don’t care. We didn’t paint this landscape. We were all once believers. We sat around every Saturday morning waiting for This Week In Baseball. We studied the back of our sweet smelling baseball cards like we were studying for LSATs. We had faith. We didn’t do this. Like my main man Flavor Flav always says, “It was you that chose your due. You built this maze you can’t get through. I tried to help you all I can. Now I can’t do nuttin’ for you man.” So don’t come finger waggin’to us.
You know all the numbers so far. You know the 500 home run club is now overrun with steroid cheats and liars. You know some of the best pitchers of our generation got by with a little help from their friends. This is nothing new. So now, as Sammy Sosa “calmly waits” for his induction into baseball’s Hall of Fame, I will calmly wait as just about anybody who was any good turns out dirty.
But who wasn’t dirty? Who does that leave? How many licks does it take to get the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? The world may never know. But we can speculate. We can contemplate. We can guesstimate. Mediate, deliberate, excogitate. Sounds like fun, don’t it? Sure it do. So lets get to it. With a little help of some of my friends, here it is:
The All Steroid Era Non User Team (For the sake of argument, let’s say the Steroid Era began in 1988, when Jose Canseco used steroids to become the game’s first player to hit 40 home runs and steal 40 bases en route to the Most Valuable Player Award.)
- Catcher- Hip Hip Jorge Posada (My Sports Rumors)
- 1B- Mark Grace (Major League Jerk)
- 2B- Ryne Sandberg (Sharapova’s Thigh)
- SS- Cal Ripken (Gunaxin)
- 3B- Chipper Jones (Will Brinson)
- OF- Ken Griffey Jr. (Intentional Foul)
- OF- Bo Jackson (Fansided)
- OF- Joe Carter (My Boy Chompers)
- SP- Greg Maddux (NESW Sports)
- RP- Trevor Hoffman (Zoner Sports)
- DH- Paul Molitor or Edgar Martinez (Me)
The list of 104 is probably going to break in the next few weeks. Be sure to check back and see how we did!
Peace out homies. Six two and Even!