Nothing you can say can take me away from my guy. Nothing you could do, ’cause I’m stuck like glue to my guy. -Mary Wells
Public Service Announcement: Ok, here we go! Woooo doggie! Now that’s more like it. There’s nothing like a good old-fashioned ass whoopin’ to set things right. Like my main man Sam Spade always says, “When you’re slapped, you’ll take it and like it.” The Chicago Bulls got slapped last night. The Chicago Bulls took it. I liked it. They guy who did most of the slapping was none other Rajon Rondo. You’ve heard Kevin Garnett say it. You’ve heard Paul Pierce say it. Now you’re gonna hear me say it. As goes Rajon Rondo, so go the Boston Celtics.
Rajon Rondo went last night all right. Last night, Rajon Rondo went for twenty big points. Last night, Rajon Rondo went for eleven huge rebounds. Last night, Rajon Rondo went for six tremendous assists and five gargantuan steals. Know this sports fans, over the last seventeen years, the only other player to go for 20/10/5/5 in a playoff game was the Glove. Gary Payton went for 35/10/11/6 for Seattle in 2000. But know this too, Rondo played only thirty-four minutes. No other player in NBA postseason history has had a 20/10/5/5 game while playing fewer than thirty-five minutes. No other player in NBA postseason history. Yowza!
With Kevin Garnett out of the line-up, Rajon Rondo is the straw who stirs the Celtics drink. Sun Tzu says, “Invincibility lies in the defense; the possibility of victory in the attack.” Rajon Rondo listens. Rajon Rondo attacked. He attacked creating turnovers. Then he attacked again. He attacked converting those turnovers into buckets. Then he attacked some more. He attacked continuously driving the rock into the heart of the Chicago defense. He attacked until he could attack no more. He attacked until he had to be carried off the court by teammate Bill Walker. But fear thee Celtics fans, the Ultimate Warrior says, “I’m fine. Ankles are fine.” Thank goodness!
All day long at school I hear how great Derrick Rose is at this or how wonderful Derrick Rose did that! Derrick, Derrick, Derrick! You can have your Derrick Rose. I’ll take my Rajon Rondo. Speed of lightning. Roar of thunder. Fighting all who rob or plunder. Rondodog! Rondodog!
Peace out homies. Six two and Even!