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Shaq: The Big Peter Pan

By: josh q. public on: Monday, March 2, 2009 @10:36 am

Shaq:  The Big Peter Pan

You can’t disrespect it.  I’m the resurrected.  Back from the dead just to mess with your head.  -House of Pain

Public Service Announcement: Ok, here we go!  Like my main man Mark Twain always says, “The rumors of my death have been greatly exaggerated.”  The rumors of Shaquille O’Neal’s death have been greatly exaggerated.  Fresh off a forty-five point night against the Raptors, the Big Power Packtus overpowered the Los Angeles Lakers with another overpowering outing.   He’s stronger than before.  He’s powered up for more.  Mighty Diesel engines roar.  Go Big Shaqtus, go!      

So what’s all this retirement nonsense?  When he says, “I think I’m the only player who looks at each and every center in the league and says, ‘That’s barbecue chicken down there,’” he’s right.  Screwed, blued and barbecued.  At thirty-seven years young, for my money, possession-by-possession, he’s still the best big man in the league. 

This season, he is in great shape.  This season, he has scored twenty or more points eighteen times.  This season, he is the NBA’s third leading scoring center with the second highest field goal percentage.  Alvin Gentry:  “We’ll still throw the ball into Shaq because I still don’t see anyone in the league who can guard him.”  Neither do I.

Nobody’s been able to guard him lately.  Shaq has scored seventy-eight points in his last two games.   Yowza!  Only one other player in NBA history totaled at least seventy-eight points over a two-game span at age thirty-six or older.  You know who that guy is?  Huh?  Do ya?  That guy is Michael Jordan, the scoringest summabitch you ever did see.  That guy did it twice playing for the Wizards at age thirty-eight back in ’o2.  You get mentioned in the same sentence with MJ and scoring, you’re doing something.  You’re doing something special.

Public Spectacle:


Peace out homies.  Six two and Even!

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