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March Madness In Review

By: AE on: Sunday, April 3, 2011 @7:40 pm

March Madness In ReviewWith one game left on the March Madness schedule we thought it would be appropriate to look back on the past 4 weeks and breakdown what worked, and what didn’t, from the CBS/Turner broadcast conglomerate.

First, it should be pointed out that the 2011 NCAA tournament enjoyed its highest overall television ratings in the past 17 years.  This is obviously due to the combination of games broadcast across all of the Turner cable partners.

Now, for some specifics Read More »

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NBA: Bill Walton And The Sacramento Kings

By: josh q. public on: Wednesday, February 2, 2011 @4:16 pm

NBA: Bill Walton And The Sacramento KingsWhen the day is long and the night, the night is yours alone.  When you’re sure you’ve had enough of this life, well hang on.  -REM

Just a short little quick one.  Short like Herve Villechaize’s walking stick one.  The plane!  The plane!  Last night, I was watching the Celtics/Kings game on a super secret website that plays such things.  Like my main man Travis Bickle always says, ”a secret signal for the secret service.”  So I’m watching the game, from the Sacramento feed, minding my own business, when who happens along?  Bill Walton happens along.  Bill Walton hops along.  Hop Along Cassidy.  Bill Walton hops along Cassidy and is gushing about the Kings.  He’s gushing about the Kings as they come out to an early 54-45 halftime lead.  Gushing and talking about what a great win this would be for Sacramento.  Isn’t this the same Bill Walton who was part of the greatest third quarter teams of all time?  A 1986 Boston Celtic team, that in Game 5 of the East semifinals against the Hawks, rolled off an unprecedented 25-0 run in the third quarter to clinch the series.  Shouldn’t he know better?  He didn’t.  He didn’t and he Kings couldn’t hold on to a 10-point second-quarter lead and lost the game 95-90 at home to the Celtics.  Wouldn’t you think now that Walton is part of the Sacramento broadcast team, he should have guessed this would happen?  I mean, this wasn’t the first time something like this has happened.  In fact, this was the tenth time this season that Sacramento lost in a game in which it held a double-digit lead.  Shouldn’t he have known, like he says himself, this “is one of the true marvels, not just of basketball, or in America, but in the history of Western Civilization.”  He should have at least known that it ties Washington for the most such losses in the NBA.  He didn’t.  Now you do and that’s something, ain’t it?  Sure it is.

Peace out Kings.  Six two and even!

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Game Of The Night: Kansas v. Texas Tech

By: josh q. public on: Tuesday, February 1, 2011 @3:09 pm

Game Of The Night: Kansas v. Texas Tech

(ESPN 9PM ET)  You say Bill Self has never won at Lubbock?  You say it’s the Raiders riding the the longer winning streak going into this game?  You say Tech is playing with the reigning Big 12 Player of the week in Mike Singletary?  Is that what you say?  Huh?  Is it?  You know what I say?  Huh?  Do ya?  I say Rock, Chalk, Jayhawk!  That’s what I say.  I’m like Dick Vitale.  I say, “The Big 12 championship goes through Lawrence.”  Actually, I say more than that.  I say the NCAA championship goes through Lawrence.  They’re awesome baby!   They’re awesome and they’re coming off their most dominating win of the season.  On Saturday, the Jayhawks played nearly flawless basketball.  On Saturday, the Jayhawks beat hated Kansas State by 24 while shooting a super scintillating sensational 61.8 percent from the field.  Who do they think they are?  The Celtics?   Are you serious?  You bet your bippy I’m serious, and so are the Jayhawks.  Get your popcorn ready!

Peace out homies!  Six Two and Even!

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Zach Randolph: Shades Of Charles Barkley

By: josh q. public on: Thursday, January 27, 2011 @3:01 pm

Zach Randolph: Shades Of Charles BarkleyZach Randolph: Shades Of Charles Barkley

We gon’ go all night.  We gon’ light it up like it’s dynamite!  ‘Cause I told you once, now I told you twice.  We gon’ light it up like it’s dynamite!  -Taio Cruz

Before Charles Barkley was an analyst for TNT, Charles Barkley was a basketball player.  Now I know you know that.  But what I meant was:  Before Charles Barkley was an analyst for TNT, Charles Barkley was a basketball player.  Legend has it, when USC Trojan Fullback Sam Bam ran roughshod all over the then lilly white Alabama Crimson Tide, he did more in that one game for integration in the South than Martin Luther King was able to accomplish in a decade.  Legend also has it, after that game, Bear Bryant took Cunningham into the Tide locker room and said to his team:  “This is Sam Cunningham. This is what a football player looks like.”  Charles Barkley is what a basketball player looked like.  He was that rare player who could operate almost anywhere and do almost anything on the court.  There’s a guy out there now who reminds me a lot of Charles Barkley.  That guy is Zach Randolph. Read More »

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Lest We Forget: Myron Cope

By: josh q. public on: Saturday, January 22, 2011 @9:00 am

Lest We Forget: Myron Cope

Don’t you forget about me. Don’t don’t don’t don’t don’t you forget about me. -Simple Minds

If you’re like me, you’re rooting for the Pittsburgh Steelers on Sunday. If you’re like me, you’d like to see them crush the Jets like little tiny ants. Like Kids in the Hall, “I’m crushing your head. I’m crushing your head.” But before the Steelers crush any heads on Sunday, I’d like you to do one thing for me, can you do that? Sure you can. Before the Steelers crush any heads on Sunday, I want you to remember Myron Cope. Yoi! Before you start waving your Terrible Towels on Sunday, remember Myron Cope. Double yoi! With his unique nasal voice and distinctive Pittsburgh area accent, Cope was a part of the Steelers’ landscape for almost forty years. Heck, Dr. Cope was the Pittsburgh Steelers. Myron said stuff like, Mmm-Hah! Stuff like, Okel Dokel. Stuff like, feh, yoi, double yoi and if you were really really lucky, triple Yoi! He was an innovator. A sports creator. This is a story about a brother I know. Cut Creator on the fader now watch him go. Go, go, Cut Creator go! Go, go, Myron Cope, go! He was Chris Berman before there was a Chris Berman. Made up nicknames. Very peculiar names. Funny names. Strange names. Pet names. Names like the Bus, Jack Splat and Slash. But Myron’s Cope’s proudest achievement was the creation of the Terrible Towel. So when you’re singing your Pittsburgh Steeler Polka and wavin’ that Terrible Towel, please, please, remember Myron Cope. He’d do it for you.

Peace out homies. Six two and Even!

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ESPN: From Leather to Sweetcakes

By: josh q. public on: Wednesday, January 5, 2011 @2:32 pm

ESPN:  From Leather to SweetcakesBoys will be boys.  You know I gotta do what I gotta do baby.  Oh ooh oh ooh oh oh.  Oh ooh oh ooh oh.  Baby, boys will be boys.  -Backstreet Boys

Ever since Deadspin coined the phrase “You’re with me leather“, ESPN has seen a slew of sexual-related scandals.  Tony Kornheiser mused that Hannah Storm looked “like she has sausage casing wrapping around her upper body.”  Bob Ryan spouted that the wife of New Jersey Nets guard Jason Kidd, who was allegedly the victim of domestic abuse, needed someone to “smack her.”  Harold Reynolds allegedly gave an ”inappropriate hug” toward a PA at an Outback Steakhouse.  Erik Kuselias became a little too friendly with a female ESPN employee at a Monday Night Football party and drunkenly blurted out to her, “I would like to fuck you.”  Incidently, Kuselias was hired by ESPN radio after they fired Jason Jackson for…sexual harassment.  And the list goes on.  Like my main Nick Lowe always says, “And s o it goes and so it goes.  But where it’s goin’ no one knows.”  I know.  It goes here.  It goes to  the latest incident involving play-by-play announcer Ron “Women Should Be Barefoot & Pregnant” Franklin and long suffering sideline reporter Jeannine Edwards.  Apparently, at a production meeting before the Chick-fil-A Bowl, Edwards tried to join the conversation.  Silly girl.  When she did, Franklin said to her, “Why don’t you leave this to the boys, sweetcakes.”  Here’s one marketing firm’s response to the ordeal: “Overall, this is yet another incident at ESPN where a female employee has been subjected to uncalled for and harassing behavior by a fellow male co-worker.  In addition, this is also just another prime example of ESPN being the all-boys” club.”  Yikes!

Public Spectacle:  This message brought to you by Peter Chao

Peace out homies.  Six Two and even!

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See A Dead Body With Warren Sapp

By: josh q. public on: Wednesday, January 5, 2011 @1:38 pm

Here’s a sketch from the new season of Funny or Die Presents, which is returning to HBO on Friday the 14th.  In it, we get Rob Heubel and former NFL star Warren Sapp looking around a warehouse for a dead body.  And yes, it is as ridiculous as you’d expect:

Peace out homies. Six two and even!

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Yankees Fans And Other Adventures In Spitting

By: josh q. public on: Wednesday, October 27, 2010 @12:12 pm

Yankees Fans And Other Adventures In SpittingOh the grass is green ad the bases white and the players pitch and hit.  But more than that, alas, alack, they only prefer to spit, to spit.  They only prefer to spit.  -Gilbert & Sullivan 

Public Service Announcement:  Ok, here we go!  This story has taken off.  By now, you’ve all heard it.  You’ve all heard during the American League Championship Series, Yankees fans spit on the families of the Texas players incuding Cliff Lee’s wife.  But like any red blooded mercenary, Cliff Lee said, a guy spitting on his family would not deter him from signing with the Yankees.  That’s the spirit!  And in that spirit, let’s have a look-see at other incidents in sports spitting, shall we?  Sure we shall.           Read More »

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Bury Me At Wounded Knee

By: josh q. public on: Friday, August 13, 2010 @11:17 am

Chipper Jones And Other Career Ending Injuries

Bury Me At Wounded Knee

Of our elaborate plans, the end.  Of everything that stands, the end.  No safety or surprise, the end.  I’ll never look into your eyes…again.  -The Doors

Public Service Announcement:  On Tuesday night, as he turned to throw across his body after fielding a ground ball up the third base line by the Astros’ Hunter Pence, Chipper Jones injured his knee.  He tore the anterior cruciate ligament in his left knee and is facing season-ending surgery.  Perhaps even career ending surgery.  Behind Hank Aaron, Chipper is the best player the  Atlanta Braves have ever had.  Behind Mike Schmidt, Chipper is the best hitting third baseman baseball has ever seen.   His loss is a loss to us all.  Chipper Jones wanted to go out on his terms.  He’s not the only one.  In light of this revoltin’ development, lets have a look at some other career ending injuries.  Shall we?  Sure we shall:            Read More »

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Top Ten Sneaker Ads of All Time

By: josh q. public on: Tuesday, July 27, 2010 @8:30 am

I just saw this sneaker commercial for the Reebok EasyTones:

 

Pretty good ad, right?  Pretty funny, right? It got me to thinking, what are the best sneaker ads of all time. So, without further ado, here you go:        Read More »

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