In case you haven’t figured it out by now, we here at JQP Productions *heart* Milan Lucic.  We *heart* him the way we *hearted* Cam Neely and Terry O’Reilly.  Tough guys.  Heart and soul guys.  Hustle guys.  Crashers.  Bangers.  Guys who played with reckless abandon as if every shift were game seven of the Stanley Cup finals.   Guys that got out there on the ice and let ‘em know they’re there.  Guys that got that fuckin’ stick in their side and let ‘em know they’re there!  Guys that got that lumber in their teeth and let ‘em know they’re there!  That’s what Milan Lucic does day after day, night after night.  That’s what the Bruins need from him this very night.        

If the Bruins win this thing, Tim Thomas will ultimately be the Conn Smythe winner, but make no mistakes, Milan Lucic is the heart and soul of these new Big Bad Bruins.  He is the straw that stirs the drink.  Like Pearl Jam always sings, he “Is a messenger and all the news is good.  He is the full moon shining off a Camaro’s hood.”  If ever he needs to shine, he needs to shine most brightly tonight.

Lucic sets the tone for the Boston Bruins.  He’s the guy gets everything going.  The guy that gets that dumps the puck into the corner.  The guy that makes the defenseman turn around.  The defenseman turns around because he knows what’s coming.  The defenseman knows what is coming and what will strike down upon him with great vengeance and furious anger.  And the defenseman knows Its name is Milan Lucic when the Big Bad Bruin lays vengeance upon him.  And as soon as that vengeance and furious anger comes, the whole of TD Garden breaks into bedlam and that, my friends, is that.

Peace out homies. Six two and Even!

Peace out homies!  Six Two and Even!

Peace out Canadiens. Six two and even!

We on fire.  Up in here, it’s burning hot.  We on fire.  Shorty take it off if it get to hot, up in this spot.  -Lloyd Banks

Public Service Announcement:  Ok, here we go!  A long time ago when dinosaurs still roamed the ice, there was a goaltender who some consider the best ever.  That goaltender is Jaques Plante.  Plante once said, “It’s a simple job.  You must only watch the puck.  If you can see it, you can stop it.”  Boston Bruins’ goalie Tim Thomas has been seeing an awful lot of pucks lately.        

Last night, Boston’s Tim Thomas made 32 saves and registered his ninth shutout of the season with a 3-0 win over the Blackhawks.  Hooray Tim Thomas!  Just so you know, that game marked only the second time in the last 32 seasons that the Bruins shut out Chicago.  The only other shutout by a Boston goaltender against the Blackhawks over that span was the imitable Jon Casey’s 4-0 win on February 27, 1994, in the Bruins’ last game at Chicago Stadium.

You know what they say.  They say anything’s possible with a hot goalie.  You know what Don Cherry says.  Don Cherry says, “A goalie can steal a game.  A goalie can steal an entire series.”  Tim Thomas is a hot goalie.  The way he is playing now, Tim Thomas can steal an entire series.  Tim Thomas is about to complete one of the greatest goaltending seasons the NHL has ever seen.  One of the greatest goaltending seasons there has ever been.  Better than Dan Green.  Mark Recchi:  “He’s been unbelievable all year.  Timmy has been out of this world.  Since we played that exhibition game in Liberec [Czech Republic], he’s been unconscious.”  Yes he has Mark.  Yes he has.

• Tim Thomas leads all goalies with a .940 save percentage.  (Pekka Rinne is second with .929.)
• Tim Thomas leads all goalies with a 1.96 goals against average.  (Pekka Rinne is second with 2.10)
• Just for good measure, Thomas also is second to Henrik Lundqvist with nine shutouts.

Yes Hockey Krishnas, the post-season is near.  With the way Tim Thomas has been playing the Bruins’ time is now.  The Bruins’ time is here.

Peace out homies.  Six two and Even!

I hate the J-E-T-S Jets Jets Jets.  I hate the Los Angeles Lakers.  I hate the New York Yankees.  And in hockey, I hate the Montreal Canadiens.  I know, that’s a lot of hate.  Martin Luthur King Jr. once said, “I have decided to stick with love.  Hate is too great a burden to bear.”  I have big shoulders.  I’ll bear that burden.  As the Bruins and Habs have met each other more often than any two teams in the regular season and playoffs, it seems I’ve been bearing that burden my whole life.  I first bore it in 1979.  In 1979, in a semi-final Game 7, the Bruins were caught with too many men on the ice.  Next thing you know, Guy Lafleur slaps in the game tying goal.  Next thing you know, Yvon Lambert puts in the winner winner chicken dinner in overtime.  Next thing you know, the Canadiens go on to a fourth successive Stanley Cup.  I’ve been bearing it ever since.  The puck stops here!       

Back in February when these two teams met, the fists were flying and when the blood settled on yet another chapter in the long-standing rivalry, the Bruins proved victorious.  Back in February, the new breed Big Bad Bruins got out there on the ice and let the Candadiens know they were there.  The new breed Big Bad Bruins got that fuckin’ stick in their side and let the Canadiens know they were there!  The new breed Big Bad Bruins got that lumber in they’re teeth and let the Canadiens know they were there!  Hooray Bruins!  Dig the new breed.

Dig the new breed, same as the old breed.  The Big Bad Bruins were one of the league’s top teams from the late 1960s into the 1980s.  Big guys.  Bad guys.  Tough guys.  Guys like Stan Jonathan.  Guys like Wayne Cashman, Terry O’Reilly and Peter McNab.  But the biggest and baddest of all the Big Bad Bruins was one Robert Gordon Orr.  Johnny Pie McKenzie:   ”The best fighter in the history of hockey was Bobby Orr.  Nobody had better leverage on his skates and nobody had quicker hands, so he could have licked anybody he wanted to.  If he wanted to.”  Good thing for the rest of the league he only licked the people he needed to.  But I’m like Mark McWire.  I’m not here to talk to the past.  And on the cool check in.  Center stage on the mic and we’re puttin’ it on wax.  It’s the new style Big Bad Bruins.

The new style Bruins do like Jimmy Conway told Spider: “Don’t take no shit off nobody.”  The last time the Bruins and Canadiens met, on March 8 in Montreal, Max Pacioretty was taken off on a stretcher and hospitalized after being ridden into the stanchion near the Boston bench by Zdeno Chara.  While I in no way, shape or form condone this sort of this thing, it’s the sort thing that gives a team certain kind of identity.  It’s the sort thing that gives a team certain kind of toughness.  When Kevin McHale grabbed Kurt Rambis around the neck and threw him to the ground back in the 1984 NBA Finals, it turned around the tone.  It turned around the game.  It turned around the series.  Just like the 192 penalty minute game, the Charra hit, the brawl game against Dallas, and a litany of other random acts of meanness, are turning around how other teams approach the Bruins.

Last night against Montreal, there was no blood.  Last night against Montreal, no one was taken out on a stretcher.  But last night in Montreal, there didn’t need to be.  The foundation was set.  Before the game even started, the Bruins had the Canadiens right where they wanted them.  The foundation was set for a 7-0 drubbing of Montreal marking the Canadiens’ largest margin of defeat in any game against any team since Oct. 28, 1998.  The foundation was set for the Bruins’ biggest shutout victory against the Canadiens since Jan. 19, 1974, when Boston won 8-0 at the Montreal Forum.  This win gives Boston a five point lead over of second-place Montreal in the Adams Division.  The foundation is now set for a run at the Cup and God help whoever gets in the Big Bad Bruins way.

Peace out homies. Six two and even!

That’s right, hockey talk.  Hockey Krishnas rejoice!  New Jersey Devils hockey talk.  And when I say New Jersey Devils hockey, you know what I’m talking about, boyeee!  Martin Brodeur.  The very bestest.  Better than all the restest.  Putting the NHL to the testest.  So the Devils go down to Columbus looking for a soul to steal.  Chicken in the bread pan pickin’ out dough.  Granny, does your dog bite?  No, child, no.  Yup the Devils go down to Colimbus and come out with the victory.  The Devils go down to Colimbus and Martin Brodeur comes away with yet another shutout.

Even at age 39 this cat’s still got it.  Last night Martin Brodeur, from his rocking chair,  posted a 3-0 shutout against the Blue Jackets.  I know Columbus had only 13 shots on goal.  I know Brodeur’s 13 saves were the third fewest he’s made in any of his regular-season shutouts.  I know he stopped nine shots in a shutout against the Capitals in 2003 and 11 while putting up a clean sheet versus the Rangers in 2001.  I also know what Tripper form Meatballs knows. I know that it just doesn’t matter.

It just doesn’t matter because Martin Brodeur is simply the best.  Better than all the rest.  Better than anyone, anyone I’ve ever met.  Think DiMaggio.  Think Gretzky.  Think John Wooden.  Think stuff like that there.  Brodeur is the NHL’s all-time leader in regular season wins,  games played, and holds numerous other league and franchise records; but it’s the shutout record that is the most impressive.  When Brodeur robbed Evgeni Malkin with a glove save in the last minute at the Igloo back in 2009, he broke Terry Sawchuk’s record.  Sawchuk had held sole possession of the shutout record for more than 45 years, since Jan. 18, 1964, when he recorded his 95th shutout and broke a tie with the former record-holder, George Hainsworth.  Now that record is Martin Brodeur’s.  His 115 shutouts and still counting will appear in record books for a long time.  They will appear there for a very very long time.

Still today, the Door makes incredible saves.  Impossible saves.  Unimaginable saves.  Preposterous saves.  Not your daddy’s typical Quebec butterfly goaltender.  Not this cat.  That’s a fact.  This cat has great reflexes.  This cat’s glove hand is like none other.  Never out of position.  Always in focus.  The best puck-handling goaltender of all time.  It’s like having a third defenseman out there.  Like having Ray Bourque as your third defenseman out there.  Brodeur just dominates the ice.  He is the best goalie I’ve ever seen.  The playoffs may remain a longshot for New Jersey, but with Satan’s Wallpaper between the pipes, never say never.

Peace out homies. Six two and Even!

Gloves off, stick down, no warning, he challenged the Chiefs!   Called us names!  Called us names!  But Dave was there.  Dave’s a killer!  Dave’s a killer!  Dave’s a mess.  Dave may be a mess but Loui Eriksson ain’t.  Loui Eriksson’s a killer.  Loui Eriksson is a Red Wing killer.  Last night, Loui Eriksson scored a shorthanded goal in the last minute of the first period in what proved to the winner winner chicken dinner in the Stars in 4-1 victory at Detroit.  Hooray Stars!  Hooray Loui Eriksson!  For those of you keeping score at home, you know Eriksson has now scored three goals in four games against the Red Wings this season.  For those of you keeping score at home, you also know that all three of those goals were game-winners.  But did you know he’s only the third player in the NHL’s expansion era to score three game-winning goals versus the Red Wings in one season?  Did you know the the others were Montreal’s Guy Lafleur in 1977-78 and Toronto’s John Anderson in 1983-84.  Huh?  Did ya?  I thought not.  Now don’t say I never gave you nothin’.  And y’all come back now, ya hear?

Peace out homies. Six two and even!

Just a quick one today.  Quick as a licorice stick one today.  Quick as a mouse click one today.  Today, the good folks over at Ed The Sports Fan posted a lamentation entitled When Your Favorite Player Gets Traded.  He said stuff like, “There’s nothing worse that can happen to a fan than when that fan’s favorite player…gets traded.”  In light of this, and in light of the recent moves that sent Melo to the Knicks and Deron Williams to the Nets, I got to thinking.  I got to thinking  that so many times in sports, guys have ended up in uniforms they just don’t belong in.  Uniforms they just look wrong in.  Here are a few that I never got used to:          

Bobby Orr

The greatest Bruin ever.  The greatest hockey player ever.   Number four, Bobby Orr.  Better than all the rest.  Greater than the Great One.  In 1971, Bobby Orr piled up an unbelievable 139 points.  139 points!  37 goals and 102 assists.  No player had ever scored 100 assists in one season before, and only two have since.  The Great One and Super Mario.  Orr did it from the blue line.  He did it faster than anybody I’ve ever seen.  Number four, Bobby Orr.  The greatest hockey player who ever lived.  You don’t believe me?  Just ask Don Cherry.  Or his dog Blue.

This guy could fight too.  They tested him his rookie year.  They didn’t test him again.  But the 1975-76 season brought changes.  Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes.  Turn and face the strain.  Ch-ch-changes.  Just gonna have to be a different man.  Trades dismantled the Big, Bad Bruins.

Orr managed to play just 10 games due to injury-riddled knees.  Contract negotiations hit an impasse between Bobby and the Bruins and marked the end of an era. Bobby became a free agent and ultimately signed with the Chicago Black Hawks.  Just never seemed right.

Robert Parrish

The biggest of the Big Three.  The Chief.  The Chief played fourteen years with the Celtics from 1980 to 1994.  The Chief won three NBA Titles with the Boston Celtics.  His rainbow jumper was a thing of beauty.  Somewhere over the rainbow.  Skies are blue.  And the dreams that you dare to dream, really do come true.  Robert Parrish made dreams come true.  Robert Parrish ended up a Charlotte Hornet.  Just never seemed right.

Hank Aaron

What can be said about the Hammer that hasn’t already been said already?  In Atlanta, 53,775 people showed up to watch Aaron hit career home run 715.  The ball landed in the Braves bullpen.  Thirty days later, Aaron ended up on the Milwaukee Brewers.  I’m gonna give you thirty days to get back home.  I done talked to the gypsy woman on the telephone.  She gonna send out a world wide hoodoo.  That’ll be the very thing that’ll suit ya.  I’m gonna see that you be back home in thirty days.  Back home in Milwaukee.  Just never seemed right.

Dwight Evans

Thank Heavens for Dwight Evans.  Cannon for an arm.  Lasar for an arm.  Dr. Evil should get sharks with Dwight Evans’ arms attached to their heads.  Dwight Evans was the best defensive right fielder of his time.  Dwight Evans won eight Gold Glove Awards.  You hear that Ted Sarandis, eight!   I know my heart can stay with my glove, its understood.  It’s in the hands of my glove, and my glove does it good.  Wo-wo-wo-wo-wo-wo, my glove does it good.  Evans ended up on the Orioles.  Just never seemed right.

Joe Montana

Joe Cool.  Three Super Bowl MVPs.  In his four Super Bowl appearances, Montana never threw an interception nor lost a fumble.  He was the first player in league history to win consecutive MVP awards.   Sports Illustrated magazine’s Sportsman of the Year award.  I`m the man of the year.  Stand in line to meet the man.  I’m the man, I’m the man, I’m the man.  The Man for the San Francisco 49ers.  Ended up a Kansas City Chief.  Never seemed right.

Here’s some more: Joe Namath, Rams.  OJ Simpson, 49ers.  Pete Rose, Phillies.  Steve Garvey, Padres.  Willie McCovey, A’s.  Eddie Murray, Indians.  Wade Boggs, Yankees.  Tony Dorsett, Broncos.  Earl Campell, Saints.  Dave Casper, Vikings.  Never seemed right.

Make my living off the evening news.  Just give me something-something I can use.  People love it when you lose.  They love dirty laundry.  -Don Henley

Peace out homies.  Six Two and Even!

Peace out homies. Six two and even!

Hockey Krishnas rejoice!  Hockey hockey!  Krishna Krishna!  That’s right, hockey talk.  New Jersey Devils hockey talk.  How ’bout them Devils?   Like my main man Father Hernandez always says, “El Diablos! Dios mio!  El Diablos!!”  Dios mio is right.  The Devils are smack dab in the middle of a seven game winning streak  Not only that, the Devils now have 32 points over their last 18 games.  Yowza! Just so you know, those 32 points are more points than the Devils have ever earned over any 30-game span within one season in franchise history.  How about that?  How about this:  In those 18 games, the Devils went 15-1-2 and cut 17 points from their playoff deficit in six weeks.  Double Yowza! How do you like them apples?   New Jersey fans like ‘em just fine.  They’re Deviliscious!    

Ilya Kovalchuk is Deviliscious.  Ilya Kovalchuk is on fire, or as the kids north of the border like to say, en flambe!  With an assist in Saturday’s win over Carolina, Kovalchuk equalled a career-best 10 game point streak.  The night before, he scored the only goal in the Devils’ 1-0 win over the Rangers.  For those of you keeping score at home, that was the fourth time in his career that Kovy scored the only goal in a 1-0 game.  For those of you keeping score at home, that ties him with Marc Savard and Vincent Lecavalier for the second-most such goals among active players.  For those of you keeping score at home, you know that it is no coincidence that Kovy’s resurgence has coincided with Jaques LeMaire taking over the team.  Wayne Gretzky once said, “You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.”  No more dumping it in.  Under LeMaire, Kovalchuk is taking his shots.

I know it’s a little early to get so excited.  I know it’s a little early to lose control and think I like it.  I know, I know, I know. I know they have to go something like 18-5 the rest of the way to make the playoffs.  I get it.  I’m smart!  Not like everybody says… like dumb.  But God help us all if these Devils get in.  With Kovalchuk leading the charge and a healthy Martin Brodeur between the pipes, I wouldn’t want to face them and neither should you. 

Peace out homies. Six two and even!