In case you haven’t figured it out by now, we here at JQP Productions *heart* Milan Lucic.  We *heart* him the way we *hearted* Cam Neely and Terry O’Reilly.  Tough guys.  Heart and soul guys.  Hustle guys.  Crashers.  Bangers.  Guys who played with reckless abandon as if every shift were game seven of the Stanley Cup finals.   Guys that got out there on the ice and let ‘em know they’re there.  Guys that got that fuckin’ stick in their side and let ‘em know they’re there!  Guys that got that lumber in their teeth and let ‘em know they’re there!  That’s what Milan Lucic does day after day, night after night.  That’s what the Bruins need from him this very night.        

If the Bruins win this thing, Tim Thomas will ultimately be the Conn Smythe winner, but make no mistakes, Milan Lucic is the heart and soul of these new Big Bad Bruins.  He is the straw that stirs the drink.  Like Pearl Jam always sings, he “Is a messenger and all the news is good.  He is the full moon shining off a Camaro’s hood.”  If ever he needs to shine, he needs to shine most brightly tonight.

Lucic sets the tone for the Boston Bruins.  He’s the guy gets everything going.  The guy that gets that dumps the puck into the corner.  The guy that makes the defenseman turn around.  The defenseman turns around because he knows what’s coming.  The defenseman knows what is coming and what will strike down upon him with great vengeance and furious anger.  And the defenseman knows Its name is Milan Lucic when the Big Bad Bruin lays vengeance upon him.  And as soon as that vengeance and furious anger comes, the whole of TD Garden breaks into bedlam and that, my friends, is that.

Peace out homies. Six two and Even!

Peace out Canadiens. Six two and even!

We on fire.  Up in here, it’s burning hot.  We on fire.  Shorty take it off if it get to hot, up in this spot.  -Lloyd Banks

Public Service Announcement:  Ok, here we go!  A long time ago when dinosaurs still roamed the ice, there was a goaltender who some consider the best ever.  That goaltender is Jaques Plante.  Plante once said, “It’s a simple job.  You must only watch the puck.  If you can see it, you can stop it.”  Boston Bruins’ goalie Tim Thomas has been seeing an awful lot of pucks lately.        

Last night, Boston’s Tim Thomas made 32 saves and registered his ninth shutout of the season with a 3-0 win over the Blackhawks.  Hooray Tim Thomas!  Just so you know, that game marked only the second time in the last 32 seasons that the Bruins shut out Chicago.  The only other shutout by a Boston goaltender against the Blackhawks over that span was the imitable Jon Casey’s 4-0 win on February 27, 1994, in the Bruins’ last game at Chicago Stadium.

You know what they say.  They say anything’s possible with a hot goalie.  You know what Don Cherry says.  Don Cherry says, “A goalie can steal a game.  A goalie can steal an entire series.”  Tim Thomas is a hot goalie.  The way he is playing now, Tim Thomas can steal an entire series.  Tim Thomas is about to complete one of the greatest goaltending seasons the NHL has ever seen.  One of the greatest goaltending seasons there has ever been.  Better than Dan Green.  Mark Recchi:  “He’s been unbelievable all year.  Timmy has been out of this world.  Since we played that exhibition game in Liberec [Czech Republic], he’s been unconscious.”  Yes he has Mark.  Yes he has.

• Tim Thomas leads all goalies with a .940 save percentage.  (Pekka Rinne is second with .929.)
• Tim Thomas leads all goalies with a 1.96 goals against average.  (Pekka Rinne is second with 2.10)
• Just for good measure, Thomas also is second to Henrik Lundqvist with nine shutouts.

Yes Hockey Krishnas, the post-season is near.  With the way Tim Thomas has been playing the Bruins’ time is now.  The Bruins’ time is here.

Peace out homies.  Six two and Even!

I hate the J-E-T-S Jets Jets Jets.  I hate the Los Angeles Lakers.  I hate the New York Yankees.  And in hockey, I hate the Montreal Canadiens.  I know, that’s a lot of hate.  Martin Luthur King Jr. once said, “I have decided to stick with love.  Hate is too great a burden to bear.”  I have big shoulders.  I’ll bear that burden.  As the Bruins and Habs have met each other more often than any two teams in the regular season and playoffs, it seems I’ve been bearing that burden my whole life.  I first bore it in 1979.  In 1979, in a semi-final Game 7, the Bruins were caught with too many men on the ice.  Next thing you know, Guy Lafleur slaps in the game tying goal.  Next thing you know, Yvon Lambert puts in the winner winner chicken dinner in overtime.  Next thing you know, the Canadiens go on to a fourth successive Stanley Cup.  I’ve been bearing it ever since.  The puck stops here!       

Back in February when these two teams met, the fists were flying and when the blood settled on yet another chapter in the long-standing rivalry, the Bruins proved victorious.  Back in February, the new breed Big Bad Bruins got out there on the ice and let the Candadiens know they were there.  The new breed Big Bad Bruins got that fuckin’ stick in their side and let the Canadiens know they were there!  The new breed Big Bad Bruins got that lumber in they’re teeth and let the Canadiens know they were there!  Hooray Bruins!  Dig the new breed.

Dig the new breed, same as the old breed.  The Big Bad Bruins were one of the league’s top teams from the late 1960s into the 1980s.  Big guys.  Bad guys.  Tough guys.  Guys like Stan Jonathan.  Guys like Wayne Cashman, Terry O’Reilly and Peter McNab.  But the biggest and baddest of all the Big Bad Bruins was one Robert Gordon Orr.  Johnny Pie McKenzie:   ”The best fighter in the history of hockey was Bobby Orr.  Nobody had better leverage on his skates and nobody had quicker hands, so he could have licked anybody he wanted to.  If he wanted to.”  Good thing for the rest of the league he only licked the people he needed to.  But I’m like Mark McWire.  I’m not here to talk to the past.  And on the cool check in.  Center stage on the mic and we’re puttin’ it on wax.  It’s the new style Big Bad Bruins.

The new style Bruins do like Jimmy Conway told Spider: “Don’t take no shit off nobody.”  The last time the Bruins and Canadiens met, on March 8 in Montreal, Max Pacioretty was taken off on a stretcher and hospitalized after being ridden into the stanchion near the Boston bench by Zdeno Chara.  While I in no way, shape or form condone this sort of this thing, it’s the sort thing that gives a team certain kind of identity.  It’s the sort thing that gives a team certain kind of toughness.  When Kevin McHale grabbed Kurt Rambis around the neck and threw him to the ground back in the 1984 NBA Finals, it turned around the tone.  It turned around the game.  It turned around the series.  Just like the 192 penalty minute game, the Charra hit, the brawl game against Dallas, and a litany of other random acts of meanness, are turning around how other teams approach the Bruins.

Last night against Montreal, there was no blood.  Last night against Montreal, no one was taken out on a stretcher.  But last night in Montreal, there didn’t need to be.  The foundation was set.  Before the game even started, the Bruins had the Canadiens right where they wanted them.  The foundation was set for a 7-0 drubbing of Montreal marking the Canadiens’ largest margin of defeat in any game against any team since Oct. 28, 1998.  The foundation was set for the Bruins’ biggest shutout victory against the Canadiens since Jan. 19, 1974, when Boston won 8-0 at the Montreal Forum.  This win gives Boston a five point lead over of second-place Montreal in the Adams Division.  The foundation is now set for a run at the Cup and God help whoever gets in the Big Bad Bruins way.

Peace out homies. Six two and even!

Just a quick one today.  Quick as a licorice stick one today.  Quick as a mouse click one today.  Today, the good folks over at Ed The Sports Fan posted a lamentation entitled When Your Favorite Player Gets Traded.  He said stuff like, “There’s nothing worse that can happen to a fan than when that fan’s favorite player…gets traded.”  In light of this, and in light of the recent moves that sent Melo to the Knicks and Deron Williams to the Nets, I got to thinking.  I got to thinking  that so many times in sports, guys have ended up in uniforms they just don’t belong in.  Uniforms they just look wrong in.  Here are a few that I never got used to:          

Bobby Orr

The greatest Bruin ever.  The greatest hockey player ever.   Number four, Bobby Orr.  Better than all the rest.  Greater than the Great One.  In 1971, Bobby Orr piled up an unbelievable 139 points.  139 points!  37 goals and 102 assists.  No player had ever scored 100 assists in one season before, and only two have since.  The Great One and Super Mario.  Orr did it from the blue line.  He did it faster than anybody I’ve ever seen.  Number four, Bobby Orr.  The greatest hockey player who ever lived.  You don’t believe me?  Just ask Don Cherry.  Or his dog Blue.

This guy could fight too.  They tested him his rookie year.  They didn’t test him again.  But the 1975-76 season brought changes.  Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes.  Turn and face the strain.  Ch-ch-changes.  Just gonna have to be a different man.  Trades dismantled the Big, Bad Bruins.

Orr managed to play just 10 games due to injury-riddled knees.  Contract negotiations hit an impasse between Bobby and the Bruins and marked the end of an era. Bobby became a free agent and ultimately signed with the Chicago Black Hawks.  Just never seemed right.

Robert Parrish

The biggest of the Big Three.  The Chief.  The Chief played fourteen years with the Celtics from 1980 to 1994.  The Chief won three NBA Titles with the Boston Celtics.  His rainbow jumper was a thing of beauty.  Somewhere over the rainbow.  Skies are blue.  And the dreams that you dare to dream, really do come true.  Robert Parrish made dreams come true.  Robert Parrish ended up a Charlotte Hornet.  Just never seemed right.

Hank Aaron

What can be said about the Hammer that hasn’t already been said already?  In Atlanta, 53,775 people showed up to watch Aaron hit career home run 715.  The ball landed in the Braves bullpen.  Thirty days later, Aaron ended up on the Milwaukee Brewers.  I’m gonna give you thirty days to get back home.  I done talked to the gypsy woman on the telephone.  She gonna send out a world wide hoodoo.  That’ll be the very thing that’ll suit ya.  I’m gonna see that you be back home in thirty days.  Back home in Milwaukee.  Just never seemed right.

Dwight Evans

Thank Heavens for Dwight Evans.  Cannon for an arm.  Lasar for an arm.  Dr. Evil should get sharks with Dwight Evans’ arms attached to their heads.  Dwight Evans was the best defensive right fielder of his time.  Dwight Evans won eight Gold Glove Awards.  You hear that Ted Sarandis, eight!   I know my heart can stay with my glove, its understood.  It’s in the hands of my glove, and my glove does it good.  Wo-wo-wo-wo-wo-wo, my glove does it good.  Evans ended up on the Orioles.  Just never seemed right.

Joe Montana

Joe Cool.  Three Super Bowl MVPs.  In his four Super Bowl appearances, Montana never threw an interception nor lost a fumble.  He was the first player in league history to win consecutive MVP awards.   Sports Illustrated magazine’s Sportsman of the Year award.  I`m the man of the year.  Stand in line to meet the man.  I’m the man, I’m the man, I’m the man.  The Man for the San Francisco 49ers.  Ended up a Kansas City Chief.  Never seemed right.

Here’s some more: Joe Namath, Rams.  OJ Simpson, 49ers.  Pete Rose, Phillies.  Steve Garvey, Padres.  Willie McCovey, A’s.  Eddie Murray, Indians.  Wade Boggs, Yankees.  Tony Dorsett, Broncos.  Earl Campell, Saints.  Dave Casper, Vikings.  Never seemed right.

Make my living off the evening news.  Just give me something-something I can use.  People love it when you lose.  They love dirty laundry.  -Don Henley

Peace out homies.  Six Two and Even!

Remember the Big Bad Bruins.  The Big Bad Bruins’ tears could cure cancer.  Too bad they never cried.  When the Boogeyman went to sleep every night, he checked his closet for the Big Bad Bruins.  And just so you know, Superman wore Big Bad Bruins pajamas.  The Big Bad Bruins were one of the league’s top teams from the late 1960s into the 1980s.  Big guys.  Bad guys.  Tough guys.  Guys like Stan Jonathan.  Guys like Wayne Cashman, Terry O’Reilly and Peter McNab.  But the biggest and baddest of all the Big Bad Bruins was one Robert Gordon Orr.  Johnny Pie McKenzie:   ”The best fighter in the history of hockey was Bobby Orr.  Nobody had better leverage on his skates and nobody had quicker hands, so he could have licked anybody he wanted to.  If he wanted to.”  Good thing for the rest of the league he only licked the people he needed to.  But I’m like Mark McWire.  I’m not here to talk to the past.  And on the cool check in.  Center stage on the mic and we’re puttin’ it on wax.  It’s the new style Big Bad Bruins.          

That’s right, these Bruins are a new breed of Bruins.  Meet the new breed, same as the old breed.  A new breed of Bruins led by Cam Neely, one of the biggest baddest Bruins of them all.  Can Neely is leading guys like Milan Lucic.  Guys like Zdeno Chara.  Guys like Shawn Thornton.  Guys who put on the foil night after night.  Guys who get out there on the ice and let ‘em know they’re there.  Guys who get that fuckin’ stick in their side and let ‘em know they’re there!  Guys who get that lumber in they’re teeth and let ‘em know they’re there!  Dig the new breed.

Can I call ‘em or can I call ‘em?  Last night, the new breed Big Bad Bruins let the Montreal Candadiens know they were there.  Last night’s game was a big game.  Last night’s game was an important game.  Last night’s game was a big, important game with serious implications on the Adams Division title race.  Last night, every scout in the league was out there to scout thetoughest team in the Federal League!  The Big Bad Bruins did not disappoint.  When the blood settled, the Bruins came away with the W.  With this W, the Bruins opened up a four-point lead over the hated Habs.  With this W, the Bruins showed the hated Habs who’s Tony Danza.  Like Chachi, these new breed Big Bad Bruins have been showing the whole league who’s in charge.  Last night it was Montreal.  The other night it was the Dallas Stars.  Who’s got next?  I dare you.

Peace out homies. Six two and even!

(VS 7PM ET)  I hate the J-E-T-S Jets Jets Jets.  I hate the Los Angeles Lakers.  I hate the New York Yankees.  And in hockey, I hate the Montreal Canadiens.  I know, that’s a lot of hate.  Martin Luthur King Jr. once said, “I have decided to stick with love.  Hate is too great a burden to bear.”  I have big shoulders.  I’ll bear that burden.  As the Bruins and Habs have met each other more often than any two teams in the regular season and playoffs, it seems I’ve been bearing it my whole life.  I first bore it in 1979.  In 1979, in a semi-final Game 7, the Bruins were caught with too many men on the ice.  Next thing you know, Guy Lafleur slaps in the game tying goal.  Next thing you know, Yvon Lambert puts in the winner winner chicken dinner in overtime.  Next thing you know, the Canadiens go on to a fourth successive Stanley Cup.  I’ve been bearing it ever since.  The puck stops here!  The puck stops tonight!  It stops tonight because Tim Thomas says so.  Thomas is the best goalie in hockey today.  He leads just about every goaltending category with a nearly unbeatable 25-6-6 record, an astounding 1.80 GAA, an eyepopping .945 save percentage and an otherwordly seven shutouts.  The Adams Division is at stake.  All that’s missing is that good old fashioned Bruins theme song. Get your popcorn ready!

Peace out homies!  Six Two and Even!

Holy schnikies!  I should have known something was up.  I should have known it  when Billy Buckner returned to the Red Sox in 1990 and received a rousing standing ovation from the Fenway Faithful.  I should have known it when Billy Goat threw out the first pitch to Dewey Evans at the Sox home opener as they unfurled their 2007 World Series Championship Banner and received yet another rousing standing ovation from the Fenway Faithful.  I should have.  I didn’t.  I certainly didn’t see this coming.  I didn’t see Buckner being hired to manage the Brockton (Mass.) Rox, a team in the independent Can-Am League.  Bill Buckner played for over twenty years in the bigs.  Bill Buckner accumulated over 2700 career hits.  In one fateful moment Bill Buckner ruined my life forever.  Or at least until 2004.  And now this?  Now he’s the manager of a local ball club?  Why it’s a travesty.  It’s a travesty of a mockery of a sham of a mockery of a travesty of two mockeries of a sham.  What’s next?  

Ben Dreith as Offensive Coordinator of the Patriots? 

1976.  Patriots/Raiders.  Playoffs.  The Patriots battled the 13-1 Raiders (the one loss coming at Foxborough) tooth and nail.  Battled for the Holy Grail.  Battled in a heroic tale.  Led 21-17 late in the game.  Had the Raiders stopped cold.  I’m so hot for her, I’m so hot for her, I’m so hot for her and she’s so cold.  Stopped cold after holding Oakland on third and 18 at the Pats 28-yard line.  Instead having to go for it on fourth and 18, referee Ben Dreith called roughing the passer on Sugar Bear Hamilton. The worst call I’ve ever seen.  The worst call there’s ever been.  The beginning of the end.  Both for the game and the Patriots future.  (Dishonorable Mention:  The late Jack Tatum as defensive backs coach).

Jack Hamilton as Pitching Coach for the Red Sox? 

Tony C.  The future of the Red Sox.  He electrified the Fenway Faithful by hitting the first pitch he ever saw at the old ball park over the Monster for a home run.  In his sophomore campaign, Conigliaro led the league in home runs. He became the youngest American League player to reach a career total of 100 home runs.  A local kid.  Beloved.  Then it happened.   Hamilton hit Conigliaro with a pitch that fractured his cheekbone and eye socket and severely damaged his retina.  Conigliaro nearly died.  He came back, but was never the same.   (Dishonorable Mention:  The Aaron Bleepin’ Boone as play by play man).

Ulf Samuelsson as Head Coach of The Bruins?

Dirtiest of the dirty.  Cheapest of the cheap.  Gooniest of the goons.   High stick to the eye of Pierre Mondou.  Career over.  He was a Canadien, so we didn’t care.  We did care about Cam Neely.  We cared a lot.  On the ice, Cam Neely defined the power forward.  Think Alexander Ovechkin.  Explosive.  Punishing.  Tenacious.  And boy could he put the biscuit in the baket.  50 goals in 44 games during the 1993-94 season.  The third fastest tally of all-time for the coveted scoring benchmark.  Only Wayne Gretzky made the grade of 50 in fewer contests.  That all ended during the Game 6 of the 1991 Prince of Wales Conference Finals.  That all ended on a cheap shot by Ulf Samuelsson.  (Dishonorable Mention:  Pete Mahovlich).

Isiah Thomas as GM of the Celtics?

I think Larry is a very, very good basketball player.  He’s an exceptional talent.   But I have to agree with Rodman.  If he were black, he’d be just another good guy.  You don’t tug on Superman’s cape.  You don’t spit into the wind.  You don’t pull the mask off the old Lone Ranger.  And you don’t mess around with the Legend.   (Dishonorable Mention:  Ralph Sampson as Big Man’s Coach).

Public Spectacle:

Peace out homies.  Six two and even!

Yes, I’m a lover not a fighter.  Yes, I’m a lover not a fighter.  And I’m really built for speed.  I’m really built for speed.  -The Kinks

Public Service Announcement:  Ok, here we go!  Colton Orr is better known for his fighting than his shooting.  That may be so, but last night, he  scored the winner winner chicken dinner for the Maple Leafs in their 3-1 victory over the Panthers.   Hooray Colton Orr!  Sure it was ugly.  Sure, he plowed  over Panthers goaltender Scott Clemmensen.  But know this Hockey Krishnas:  It was Orr’s second goal in eight games this season; he also scored at Pittsburgh on October 13.  Though no one will ever confuse him with his namesake, Bobby Orr, it’s worth noting that October 2010 is the first calendar month in which Colton has scored more than one goal in his 335-game NHL career.  That’s something, ain’t it?  Sure it is.

Public Spectacle:

Peace out homies.  Six two and Even!

Public Service Announcement: Ok, here we go!  4th of July baby, 4th of July.  I’m a Red Sox Doodle Dandy.  Red Sox Doodle do or die.  A real live nephew of my Unlce Sam.  I was born on the 4th of July.  Yup, Independence Day folks.  So say goodbye, it’s Independence Day.  It’s Independence Day all down the line.  Just say goodbye it’s Independence Day.  It’s Independence Day this time.  Yesiree, Independence Day.  Fourth of Joo-ly.  What better way to celebrate than to look back at some other famous fours.  Some Gang of Fours.  Some Figure Fours.  Some Fantastic Fours.  Some Fab Fours.  So without any further ado, Happy FOURth of Joo-ly!    

Mel Ott:  New York Giants.  Master Melvin.  O is for Ott, of the restless right foot.  When he leaned on the pellet, the pellet stayed put.  A prolific home run hitter.  Hit a slew of home runs.  A gaggle of home runs.  A pride of home runs.  The youngest player to hit 100 home runs.   The first National Leaguer to hit 500 home runs.  Six-time NL home run leader.  Holds the major league record for leading his team in home runs.  Eighteen consecutive seasons.   Yowza!

The way free agency is today, this record may never be broken.  Morning has broken, like the first morning.  Blackbird has spoken, like the first bird.  Praise for the singing, praise for the morning.  Praise for the springing fresh from the word.  Praise Mel Ott!

Bobby Orr: Boston Bruins.  Number four, Bobby Orr.  You’re simply the best.  Better than all the rest.  Better than anyone.  Anyone I’ve ever met!  Greater than the Great One.  Plus/Minus.  Orr has the single season record at +124! That means his team scored 124 more goals than they gave up when he was on the ice.  His career +/- is .91; the next closest guy is Larry Robinson at .53.  Yowza!  Talk about a difference maker.  A takes the caker.  A shake and baker.  A Porterhouse Steaker.

In 1971, Bobby Orr piled up an unbelievable 139 points.  139 points!  37 goals and 102 assists.  No player had ever notched 100 assists in one season before, and only two have since.  The Great One and Super Mario.  Orr did it from the blue line.  He did it faster than anybody I’ve ever seen.  Number four, Bobby Orr.  The greatest hockey player who ever lived.  You don’t believe me?  Just ask Don Cherry.  Or his dog Blue.  Oh ya, this guy could fight.  They tested him his rookie year.  They didn’t test him again.

Sidney Moncrief:  Milwaukee Bucks.  Think defense.  Hit ‘em again!  Hit ‘em again! Defense, defense!  Dig in!  Sidney Moncrief dug in.  Dug in on defense.  Tough defense.  Rugged defense.  Stalwart defense.  Unyielding defense.  NBA Defensive Player of the Year for the 1982-83 and 1983-84 seasons.  Get the papers, get the papers.  His Airness:  “When you play against Moncrief, you’re in for a night of all-around basketball.  He’ll hound you everywhere you go, both ends of the court.”  It’s Huckleberry fun, it’s for everyone.  So come on, gather ’round.  Get yourself all set.  Turn on your TV set.  For Huckleberry Hound.  Sidney Moncrief will be your huckleberry.

Brett Favre: Minnesota Vikings.  Ted Stroehmann’s boy.  The toughest summamabitch to ever take a snap.  He’s got the power.  Takes a licking and just keeps on ticking.  Starting at QB in the NFL since 1992.  Has not missed one game.  Not one, I tell you.  And Jerry Glanville says, “Not for long.”  Feh!  He has made an NFL record 285 consecutive starts (309 including playoffs).  Yowza!  Makes Cal look like a slacker.  This is one tough quarterbacker.  Taking sacker after sacker.  I mean, football’s a man’s game.  Takes a man to start 291 straight games at QB.

Lou Gehrig:  New York Yankees. The Iron Horse.  I’m a cowboy, on a steel horse I ride.  I’m wanted, dead or alive.  This guy stayed alive.  Stayed alive for 2,130 consecutive games.  Stayed alive for a career .340 average.  Stayed alive for 493 bombs and 1,995 RBIs.  Gracious!  Stayin’ alive, stayin’ alive.  Ah, ha, ha, ha.  Stayin’ alive.  The Iron Horse was part of some of the best Yankee teams from 1923 through 1939.  Lou Gehrig became the first Major League Baseball  player to have his number retired by his team.  He was voted the greatest first baseman of all-time by the Baseball Writers’ Association.  Lou Gehrig, the luckiest man on the face of the earth.

Jean Beliveau: Montreal Canadiens.  Le Gros Bill.  The Captain.  O Captain! my Captain! Our fearful trip is done.  The ship has weathered every rack, the prize we sought is won.  The prize they sought was won ten times with the Captain on the ice.  Ten Stanley Cups.  The longest-serving captain in Canadiens history.  Jean played in thirteen All-Star games.  Jean made NHL 1st Team six times.  Second Team four times.  He won the Art Ross Memorial Trophy.  He won the Conn Smythe Trophy.  He won the Hart Memorial Trophy.  He was ranked seventh on The Hockey News’ list of the 100 Greatest Hockey Players.

Big skater.  Hard skater.  Strong skater.  Classy skater.  Classy Freddy Blassy skater.  Clarence Campbell:  “Any parent could use Jean Beliveau as a pattern or role model.  He provides hockey with a magnificent image.  I couldn’t speak more highly of anyone who has ever been associated with our game than I do of Jean.”

Joe Dumars:  Deetroit Pistons.  Joe-D.  Eighteenth overall pick in the NBA Draft out of McNeese State University.  Our Cowboys fight for victory.  They knock their foes out one, two, three.  They roll aside all opposition.  Blocking their position.  Striving in close harmony.  Joe-D knocked his foes out one, two, three.  Bad boys, bad boys.  Whatcha gonna do.  Whatcha gonna do when they come for you.

Two Championships.  One Championship MVP.  Dumars silently put up solid numbers.  Sound numbers.  Murder by numbers.  But Joe’s game was defense.  That’s where he did his damage.  Damage.  Unh.  Damage.  Unh.  Damage.  Unh.  Damage.  Destruction, terror, and mayhem.  Pass me a sissy so suckas I’ll slay him.  Slaying folks nightly.  Almost singlehandedly creating the Jordan Rules.  Shutting down MJ.  Forcing the other Jordanaires to step up their game.  Say my name!  Joe-D!

Honorable Mentions: Luke Appling, Joe Cronin, Ralph Kiner, Duke Snider, Earl Weaver, Paul Molitor, Tuffy Leemans, Wendell Ladner, Jerry Sloan, Rick Barry and Barry Ashbee.

Just So You Know: Japanese baseball players avoid wearing number four, pronounced shi, because it also means death.

Public Spectacle:

Peace out homies.  Six two and Even!