Love will turn you around , turn you around.  -Kenny Rogers

In case you haven’t figured it out by now, we here at JQP Productions *heart* Milan Lucic.  We *heart* him the way we *hearted* Cam Neely and Terry O’Reilly.  Tough guys.  Heart and soul guys.  Hustle guys.  Crashers.  Bangers.  Guys who played with reckless abandon as if every shift were game seven of the Stanley Cup finals.   Guys that got out there on the ice and let ‘em know they’re there.  Guys that got that fuckin’ stick in their side and let ‘em know they’re there!  Guys that got that lumber in their teeth and let ‘em know they’re there!  That’s what Milan Lucic does day after day, night after night.  That’s what the Bruins need from him this very night.         Read More »

Like my main Peter Griffin always sings, “B-b-b-bird, bird, bird, b-bird’s the word!”  Here is Andrew Ference giving the Habs fans the middle finger after scoring Boston’s 2nd goal in Game 3 of the 2011 Stanley Cup Playoffs:

Peace out Canadiens. Six two and even!

We on fire.  Up in here, it’s burning hot.  We on fire.  Shorty take it off if it get to hot, up in this spot.  -Lloyd Banks

Public Service Announcement:  Ok, here we go!  A long time ago when dinosaurs still roamed the ice, there was a goaltender who some consider the best ever.  That goaltender is Jaques Plante.  Plante once said, “It’s a simple job.  You must only watch the puck.  If you can see it, you can stop it.”  Boston Bruins’ goalie Tim Thomas has been seeing an awful lot of pucks lately.         Read More »

When you go down, head first into the ground, I’ll stand above you just to piss on your grave.  -Green Day

I hate the J-E-T-S Jets Jets Jets.  I hate the Los Angeles Lakers.  I hate the New York Yankees.  And in hockey, I hate the Montreal Canadiens.  I know, that’s a lot of hate.  Martin Luthur King Jr. once said, “I have decided to stick with love.  Hate is too great a burden to bear.”  I have big shoulders.  I’ll bear that burden.  As the Bruins and Habs have met each other more often than any two teams in the regular season and playoffs, it seems I’ve been bearing that burden my whole life.  I first bore it in 1979.  In 1979, in a semi-final Game 7, the Bruins were caught with too many men on the ice.  Next thing you know, Guy Lafleur slaps in the game tying goal.  Next thing you know, Yvon Lambert puts in the winner winner chicken dinner in overtime.  Next thing you know, the Canadiens go on to a fourth successive Stanley Cup.  I’ve been bearing it ever since.  The puck stops here!        Read More »

And you may tell yourself, this is not my beautiful house!  And you may tell yourself, this is not my beautiful wife!  Same as it ever was…same as it ever was…same as it ever was.  -Talking Heads

Just a quick one today.  Quick as a licorice stick one today.  Quick as a mouse click one today.  Today, the good folks over at Ed The Sports Fan posted a lamentation entitled When Your Favorite Player Gets Traded.  He said stuff like, “There’s nothing worse that can happen to a fan than when that fan’s favorite player…gets traded.”  In light of this, and in light of the recent moves that sent Melo to the Knicks and Deron Williams to the Nets, I got to thinking.  I got to thinking  that so many times in sports, guys have ended up in uniforms they just don’t belong in.  Uniforms they just look wrong in.  Here are a few that I never got used to:           Read More »

I’m like Tyson icin’, I’m a soldier at war.  I’m makin’ sure you don’t try to battle me no more.  I’m bad.  -LL Cool J

Remember the Big Bad Bruins.  The Big Bad Bruins’ tears could cure cancer.  Too bad they never cried.  When the Boogeyman went to sleep every night, he checked his closet for the Big Bad Bruins.  And just so you know, Superman wore Big Bad Bruins pajamas.  The Big Bad Bruins were one of the league’s top teams from the late 1960s into the 1980s.  Big guys.  Bad guys.  Tough guys.  Guys like Stan Jonathan.  Guys like Wayne Cashman, Terry O’Reilly and Peter McNab.  But the biggest and baddest of all the Big Bad Bruins was one Robert Gordon Orr.  Johnny Pie McKenzie:   ”The best fighter in the history of hockey was Bobby Orr.  Nobody had better leverage on his skates and nobody had quicker hands, so he could have licked anybody he wanted to.  If he wanted to.”  Good thing for the rest of the league he only licked the people he needed to.  But I’m like Mark McWire.  I’m not here to talk to the past.  And on the cool check in.  Center stage on the mic and we’re puttin’ it on wax.  It’s the new style Big Bad Bruins.           Read More »

(VS 7PM ET)  I hate the J-E-T-S Jets Jets Jets.  I hate the Los Angeles Lakers.  I hate the New York Yankees.  And in hockey, I hate the Montreal Canadiens.  I know, that’s a lot of hate.  Martin Luthur King Jr. once said, “I have decided to stick with love.  Hate is too great a burden to bear.”  I have big shoulders.  I’ll bear that burden.  As the Bruins and Habs have met each other more often than any two teams in the regular season and playoffs, it seems I’ve been bearing it my whole life.  I first bore it in 1979.  In 1979, in a semi-final Game 7, the Bruins were caught with too many men on the ice.  Next thing you know, Guy Lafleur slaps in the game tying goal.  Next thing you know, Yvon Lambert puts in the winner winner chicken dinner in overtime.  Next thing you know, the Canadiens go on to a fourth successive Stanley Cup.  I’ve been bearing it ever since.  The puck stops here!  The puck stops tonight!  It stops tonight because Tim Thomas says so.  Thomas is the best goalie in hockey today.  He leads just about every goaltending category with a nearly unbeatable 25-6-6 record, an astounding 1.80 GAA, an eyepopping .945 save percentage and an otherwordly seven shutouts.  The Adams Division is at stake.  All that’s missing is that good old fashioned Bruins theme song. Get your popcorn ready!

Peace out homies!  Six Two and Even!

Is she really going out with him?  Is she really gonna take him home tonight?  Is she really going out with him?  ‘Cause if my eyes don’t deceive me, there’s something going wrong around here.  -Joe Jackson

Holy schnikies!  I should have known something was up.  I should have known it  when Billy Buckner returned to the Red Sox in 1990 and received a rousing standing ovation from the Fenway Faithful.  I should have known it when Billy Goat threw out the first pitch to Dewey Evans at the Sox home opener as they unfurled their 2007 World Series Championship Banner and received yet another rousing standing ovation from the Fenway Faithful.  I should have.  I didn’t.  I certainly didn’t see this coming.  I didn’t see Buckner being hired to manage the Brockton (Mass.) Rox, a team in the independent Can-Am League.  Bill Buckner played for over twenty years in the bigs.  Bill Buckner accumulated over 2700 career hits.  In one fateful moment Bill Buckner ruined my life forever.  Or at least until 2004.  And now this?  Now he’s the manager of a local ball club?  Why it’s a travesty.  It’s a travesty of a mockery of a sham of a mockery of a travesty of two mockeries of a sham.  What’s next?   Read More »

Yes, I’m a lover not a fighter.  Yes, I’m a lover not a fighter.  And I’m really built for speed.  I’m really built for speed.  -The Kinks

Public Service Announcement:  Ok, here we go!  Colton Orr is better known for his fighting than his shooting.  That may be so, but last night, he  scored the winner winner chicken dinner for the Maple Leafs in their 3-1 victory over the Panthers.   Hooray Colton Orr!  Sure it was ugly.  Sure, he plowed  over Panthers goaltender Scott Clemmensen.  But know this Hockey Krishnas:  It was Orr’s second goal in eight games this season; he also scored at Pittsburgh on October 13.  Though no one will ever confuse him with his namesake, Bobby Orr, it’s worth noting that October 2010 is the first calendar month in which Colton has scored more than one goal in his 335-game NHL career.  That’s something, ain’t it?  Sure it is.

Public Spectacle:

Peace out homies.  Six two and Even!

Sandy, the fireworks are hailin’ over Little Eden tonight.  Forcin’ a light, into all those stoned-out faces left stranded on this Fourth of July.  -Bruce Springsteen

Public Service Announcement: Ok, here we go!  4th of July baby, 4th of July.  I’m a Red Sox Doodle Dandy.  Red Sox Doodle do or die.  A real live nephew of my Unlce Sam.  I was born on the 4th of July.  Yup, Independence Day folks.  So say goodbye, it’s Independence Day.  It’s Independence Day all down the line.  Just say goodbye it’s Independence Day.  It’s Independence Day this time.  Yesiree, Independence Day.  Fourth of Joo-ly.  What better way to celebrate than to look back at some other famous fours.  Some Gang of Fours.  Some Figure Fours.  Some Fantastic Fours.  Some Fab Fours.  So without any further ado, Happy FOURth of Joo-ly!     Read More »