It’s a wonderful night, you’ve gotta take it from me.  It’s a wonderful night, come on and break it on down.  -Fatboy Slim

Just a short little quick one.  Quick like a licorice stick one.  Just to throw a brick one.  As much as I’d like to say, Same Old Jets, I cannot.  As much as I’d like to say, Ha ha Jets, I cannot.  For as much as I’d like to say those things, it’d be those Same Old Jets that beat my beloved Patriots last weekend and what would that say for my beloved Patriots?  All I know is the Jets made Rashard Mendenhall look like Franco Harris last night. It was if Mike Tomlin took a page from an old Chuck Noll playbook, calling on Rashard Mendenhall early and often in the Steelers’ 24-19 victory. Mendenhall carried the ball 10 times in the first quarter, something no Steelers running back had done in a postseason game in more than 30 years.  But Franco Harris did it three times for Noll’s teams during the 1970s.  Awww to heck with it.  I’m gonna say it.  Same Old J-E-T-S Jets Jets Jets!  The Jets failed to score on a 17-play, 80-yard drive in the fourth quarter.  That was the longest drive (that is, most plays) resulting in no points in a postseason game since the Giants came up empty on a 19-play drive against the Vikings in January 2001.  Not to worry, the Giants were winning 41-0 in the NFC title game at the time.  Unfortunately for the Jets, they weren’t winning, and now order has been restored in the world.

Peace out Jets. Six two and even!

We’re from the town with that great football team.  We cheer the Pittsburgh Steelers.  Winning’s a habit, not only a dream.  Go out and get them Steelers!  -Jimmy Psihoulis

In all fairness, I don’t think I can do this one straight.  In all fairness, I hate the New York Jets.  In all fairness, that game last week messed up my head a little bit. In all fairness, I’m not thinking straight. This is what I’m thinking:

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I can’t get used to losing you no matter what I try to do.  Gonna spend my whole life through, loving you.  -English Beat

This is gonna be a quick one.  A quick poke my eye out with a stick one.  A quick hit me in the nuts with a brick one.  Yesterday, the New England Patriots lost to the Same Old Jets and I’m Just sick about.  David Tyree sick about it.  Aaron Boone sick about it.  Andrew Toney sick about it.  Petr Klima sick about it.  But this was worse.  This was worse because Tom Brady and the New England Patriots were not beaten by one special play or one special player.  This was worse because the New England Patriots were outplayed from whistle to whistle.  Outplayed thorn and thistle.  A total dismissal.   I’m heading back from Boston to New York today.  During my drive of shame, I have plenty to think about.  That means, tomorrow, you’ll  have plenty to read about.  Until then, please join me as I wallow in my sorrows:

Peace out homies.  Six two and even!

Just ’cause over here at JQP Productions we like to pile on:

Peace out homies. Six two and even!

Round two, I’m down to, do, what it takes to make you understand I’m the Candyman and I melt in your mouth, not in your hands.  -Candyman

Ok, here we go!  The NFL Playoffs.  The NFL hip-hip-hoorayoffs.  The judgement dayoffs.  Win or go home!  Who lives to play another week?  Who goes home?  Like Southside Johnny always says, “Oh, I know that it’s getting late, but I don’t want to go home.  I’m in no hurry, baby, time can wait. ‘Cause I don’t want to go home.”  Lets have a look-see at who’s who, shall we?  Sure we shall!             Read More »

By now, you’ve all seen this:

You’ve all seen Wes Welker drop at least 11 references to “feet,” “toes” or “foot” during his roughly eight-minute session with the media on Thursday.  Brilliant!  So brilliant in fact, it reminded me of this:

Peace out homies.  Six two and even!

Listen to me dog before you start to whine, that side’s yours and this side’s mine.  Move it on over.  Rock it on over.  Move over little dog, a big, old dog is movin’ in.  -George Thorogood & The Destroyers

Like that little chihuahua next door, the New York Jets continue to yip.  Like that little chihuahua next door, the New York Jets continue to yap.  Yipping and yapping.  Flipping and flapping.  All day long at school I hear how terrible Tom Brady is at this or how horrible Tom Brady did that!  Brady! Brady!  Brady!  You know what I say?  I  say what Mr. Blonde says.  I say, “Are you gonna bark all day, little doggy, or are you gonna bite?”          Read More »

You’re the instigator, the orator of the town. You’re the worst when you converse, just a big mouth clown. You talk when you’re awake, I heard you talk when you sleep. Has anyone ever told you, that talk is cheap? -Run DMC

Public Service Announcement: Ok, here we go! Add another guy to the guys I hate list. Add Rex Ryan. I want him dead! I want his family dead! I want his house burned to the ground! I wanna go there in the middle of the night and I wanna piss on ashes! Read More »

Matty told Hatty, “That’s the thing to do.  Get you someone really to pull the wool with you.”  Wooly bully, wooly bully.  Wooly bully, wooly bully, wooly bully.  -Sam the Sham & the Pharaohs

This ain’t no Weekend at Bernies.  This ain’t no Weekend With Maurie and Connie.  No.  I’m like Sam Quint.  I’m not talkin’ about pleasure boatin’ or day sailin’.  I’m talkin’ about workin’ for a livin’.  I’m talkin’ about sharkin’.  I’m talking about NFL Wildcard Weekend.  I’m talking about NFL Playoff football.  Growds folks’ football.  Win or go home football.  In this version of the NFL, there’s two kinds of teams my friend:  Those with big time quarterbacks, and those who dig.  Let’s see who’s who, shall we?  Sure we shall!               Read More »

What you waiting on?  I present to you a perfect situation.  Ain’t no need anticipating, no.  Take that!  Take that!  Take that!  Take that!  -Usher

Public Service Announcement:  Ok, here we go!  Just a little quickie.  No time to speak softly and carry a big stickie.  Gotta yell loudly and throw a cement bricky.   Yesterday, as  Green Bay became the first visiting team to post a shutout against a host with at least five wins and no more than one loss since December 5, 1965, the New England Patriots did what they do best.  The New England Patriots won a footaball game.  Won a football game and put themselves atop the Adams Division.  Won a football game and gave themselves the best record in the NFL.  And know this sports fans:  Of the Patriots six wins thus far, four of them – including each of the last three – are against teams that were in the playoffs last year.  Ha ha ha!  Take that Rex Ryan!  Take that Jets!  Roll Pats, Roll!

Public Spectacle:

Peace out homies.  Six two and Even!