You know the message that you’re sending out to the world with these sweatpants? You’re telling the world, ‘I give up. –Jerry Seinfeld
On November 29, 2008, things took a turn for the worse for the defending Super Bowl Champion New York Giants. The teams’ star wide receiver, Plaxico Burress, made an ill fated decision that would inevitably alter the direction of the Giants season and the remainder of his career as a pro-athlete. I am speaking of course about the fact that he consciously chose to wear sweat pants to a night club.
In hindsight, it was the second biggest mistake of his life; the first being that he shot himself in the leg to distract people from the poor outerwear choices that he made earlier that evening. Though a fashion faux pas of this magnitude would end any normal athlete’s chances at receiving invites to red carpet events, Plax seems to be bullet proof (apparently not in a literal sense) when it comes to falling out of the spotlight. Read More »
By: josh q. public on: Friday, January 28, 2011 @3:00 pm
Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious! Even though the sound of it is something quite atrocious! If you say it loud enough, you’ll always sound precocious. Um-diddle-diddle-um-diddleye. -Mary Poppins
It’s almost here! Super Sunday. Super fun day. More fun than Plaxico Burress gun day. It’s a quest for fun. I’m gonna have fun and you’re gonna have fun. We’re all gonna have so much f**king fun we’ll need plastic surgery to remove our godamn smiles. You’ll be whistling ‘Zip-A-Dee Doo-Dah’ out of you’re assholes! Now that’s fun. You know what else is fun? Huh? Do ya? Sure you do. Making up All Star teams is fun. I know, I know, you wanted chicks and guns and fire trucks and hookers and drugs and booze! Do that on your own time. This my time. This my damn blog. And now without further ado, my damn Super Bowl All Star team: Read More »
By: josh q. public on: Saturday, August 7, 2010 @9:00 am
She dreams in color, she dreams in red. Can’t find a better man. Can’t find a better man. -Pearl Jam
Public Service Announcement: Donald Driver just signed a contract extension that will keep the Packers’ all-time receptions leader with the franchise through 2012. This is one guy who deserves it. This is one guy who stood up against the scum, the dogs, the filth, the shit. Here is a man who stood up. Stood up for all that is good. With all the focus on the negatives in the NFL lately, it’s high time we talk about the positives. You’ve got to accentuate the positive, eliminate the negative. Latch on to the affirmative. Don’t mess with Mister In-Between. Time to mess with the good guys. Men who should win the Nobel Prize. All that and McDonald’s French Fries. The men in the white hats. The Dumbledores. The Indiana Joneses. The John McClanes. The guys you’d be proud to have on your team. Donald Driver is one of those guys. Read More »
By: josh q. public on: Monday, December 21, 2009 @1:30 pm
You play to win the game! -Herm Edwards
Public Service Announcement: Ok, here we go! Like folks like to say, this is a must win game for the New York Football Giants. A cannot internally combust win game for the New York Football Giants. An in God we trust win game for the New York Football Giants. With America’s Team beating the previously unbeaten New Orleans Saints, the Giants sit 1½-games behind the Cowboy. They need to finish even in the standings with Dallas to gain the tie-breaker edge and the final NFC wild-card playoff spot. Can they do it? Like they always knew it? Let’s have a peak at the numbers, shall we? Sure we shall. Read More »
By: Brian G on: Friday, November 27, 2009 @2:00 am
Happy Thanksgiving! If you’re a Giants fan on this day like myself, sorry to hear that. After watching all four quarters of embarrassing football, here’s what can be analyzed. We are not what we thought we were. And we let a lot get off the hook! Point blank Giants fans, we do not have much to look forward to moving forward. This team lacks a lot of things, starting with coaching all the way to the quarterback. The best thing is, it’s about time someone addressed the issues!
By: josh q. public on: Monday, November 9, 2009 @1:06 pm
Accidents will happen. We only hit and run. I don’t want to hear it ’cause I know what I’ve done. -Elvis Costello
Public Service Announcement: Ok, here we go! America’s favorite cocaine addict is at again. Perhaps the greatest defensive player in the history of football, Lawrence Taylor himself, once said: “For me, crazy as it seems, there is a real relationship between wild, reckless, and abandoned off the field and being that way on the field.” Lawrence Taylor hasn’t been on the field for some 16 years now, but his off the field antics have not changed. According to TMZ, Taylor was busted after cops say he left the scene of a car accident. Cops believe Taylor hit another car and then a guard rail … and then drove away from the scene.” Apparently, cops found him standing outside of his car which was missing a front tire. The tire was found at the scene of the crash which means Taylor may have driven several miles on just the axle.
They say that all good things must end. Call it tonight, the party’s over, and tomorrow starts the same old thing again. -Willie Nelson
Public Service Announcement: Ok, here we go! Another Sunday down. Down Goes Frazier! Down Goes Frazier! Down Goes Frazier! I get knocked down but I get up again. You’re never going to keep me down. That’s right, I’m getting up to write down what happened yesterday on ye olde gridiron. Let’s have us a look see, shall we? Sure we shall. Read More »
By: josh q. public on: Sunday, September 6, 2009 @9:41 am
You think you’re so illustrious. You call yourself intense. It’s an orangy sky. Always it’s some other guy. It’s just a broken lullaby. Bye bye love. -The Cars
Public Service Announcement: Ok, here we go! Like my main woman Mary Todd Lincoln always says, “The day of triumph will surely come, when justice and truth will be vindicated. Wrongs will be made right, and we will once more taste the blessings of freedom.” Yesterday, justice and truth were vindicated. Yesterday, wrongs were made right. Today we once more taste the blessings of freedom. David Tyree was Bucky Dent, Mookie Wilson and Ben Dreith all rolled into one. The play call was called Phantom. Tyree was a special-teams ace who had just four receptions in the regular season. He ended up with one of the greatest and most clutch catches in Super Bowl history. Today he is history. The New York Football Giants parted ways with the hero of Super Bowl XLII. I couldn’t be happier. Ha ha ha! And that goes double for you Bernard Pollard.
By: josh q. public on: Thursday, August 20, 2009 @10:58 am
Plaxico Burress took a surprise plea bargain today that will land him in the hoosegow for two years. Although all the details are not yet disclosed, perhaps part of the deal includes Public Service Announcements as follows:
By: josh q. public on: Saturday, February 14, 2009 @11:45 am
Stay, ahhhh just a little bit longer. Please please please please please, tell me that you’re gonna. -Frankie Valli
Public Service Announcement: Ok, here we go! The New York Football Giants just tagged Brandon Jacobs as their Latex Salesman franchise player. Considering Bam Bam bam bammed for fifteen touchdowns last season, I can’t say as I blame them. But, I don’t know if it was neccessary. Only two players in NFL history ran for fifteen or more TDs in one season and did not return to their team for the following season. Only Jim Brown and only Greg Bell. Jim Brown retired and Greg Bell was traded. Better safe than sorry.