Is she really going out with him?  Is she really gonna take him home tonight?  Is she really going out with him?  ‘Cause if my eyes don’t deceive me, there’s something going wrong around here.  -Joe Jackson

Holy schnikies!  I should have known something was up.  I should have known it  when Billy Buckner returned to the Red Sox in 1990 and received a rousing standing ovation from the Fenway Faithful.  I should have known it when Billy Goat threw out the first pitch to Dewey Evans at the Sox home opener as they unfurled their 2007 World Series Championship Banner and received yet another rousing standing ovation from the Fenway Faithful.  I should have.  I didn’t.  I certainly didn’t see this coming.  I didn’t see Buckner being hired to manage the Brockton (Mass.) Rox, a team in the independent Can-Am League.  Bill Buckner played for over twenty years in the bigs.  Bill Buckner accumulated over 2700 career hits.  In one fateful moment Bill Buckner ruined my life forever.  Or at least until 2004.  And now this?  Now he’s the manager of a local ball club?  Why it’s a travesty.  It’s a travesty of a mockery of a sham of a mockery of a travesty of two mockeries of a sham.  What’s next?   Read More »

We take all kind of pills to give us all kind of thrills.  But the thrill we’ve never known is the thrill that’ll get you when you get your picture on the cover of the Rolling Stone.  -Dr Hook and the Medicine Show

Curse schmurse!  Jinx schminx!  Nobody can stop these juggernaut Patriots.  Nobody can stop these sluggernaut Patriots.  These punch you in the muggernaut Patriots.  Nobody!  You hear me?  Nobody!  Not SI.  Not Rex Ryan.  Not that six-five, 230-pound quarterback with the laser rocket arm.  Not the Steelers.  Not that guy everybody wants to give a reach around to.  (Michael Vick) Not nobody! Like my main man Mohandas Gandhi always says, “Nobody can hurt me without my permission.”  Last I heard, Tom Brady ain’t giving no permission.  Last I heard, Tom Brady ain’t giving no quarter.  Last I heard, Tom Brady is the best football player that has ever been borned.  When there is trouble, I’m there on the double.  From Atlantic to Pacific, they know Tom Terrific!  You better know too!  Read More »

I don’t shine shoes. I don’t tape ankles. I don’t cut checks…Straight cash Homie!

Peace out Randy! Six two and even!

What you waiting on?  I present to you a perfect situation.  Ain’t no need anticipating, no.  Take that!  Take that!  Take that!  Take that!  -Usher

Public Service Announcement:  Ok, here we go!  Just a little quickie.  No time to speak softly and carry a big stickie.  Gotta yell loudly and throw a cement bricky.   Yesterday, as  Green Bay became the first visiting team to post a shutout against a host with at least five wins and no more than one loss since December 5, 1965, the New England Patriots did what they do best.  The New England Patriots won a footaball game.  Won a football game and put themselves atop the Adams Division.  Won a football game and gave themselves the best record in the NFL.  And know this sports fans:  Of the Patriots six wins thus far, four of them – including each of the last three – are against teams that were in the playoffs last year.  Ha ha ha!  Take that Rex Ryan!  Take that Jets!  Roll Pats, Roll!

Public Spectacle:

Peace out homies.  Six two and Even!

Sacked like a sacker. Call Mr. Brady. Tell him to leave his hair to that guy who sings ‘Baby’ .  -Justin Bieber

Public Service Announcement: Fresh off of dissing my boy, Tom Brady, Justin Bieber tried to chat up a couple of LA Lakers cheerleaders.  Sadly for him, they seemed more interested in the game than the pint-sized pop sensation.

Peace out homies.  Six two and even! 

Speed of lightning, roar of thunder, fighting all who rob or plunder:  Underdog.  Underdog.  Underdog!  -Underdog Theme

Public Service Announcement:  First off, you must know, I hate the Chargers.  Hated ‘em since the Patriots did the Lights Out Dance on the Super Charger logo four years ago.  Know this:  You can’t have a signature dance or prop and not expect it to get used against you if things go bad.  The Honky Tonk Man knew there was always a chance that somebody would take his guitar and smash it over his head.  The Patriots took Shawn Merriman’s guitar and smashed it over his head.  The Chargers have been crying ever since and if any of ‘em ain’t crying now, they’re gonna be crying come Sunday.          Read More »

Greer is putting the ball in play. … He gets it out. … and Havlicek steals it!  Over to Sam Jones.  Havlicek stole the ball!  It’s all over!  It’s alllll over!  Johnny Havlicek is being mobbed by the fans.  It’s alllll over!  -Johnny Most

Public Service Announcement:  Oh well.  I guess that’s that.  I can’t say I’m not disappointed.  I had such high hopes.  But this is a team that was decimated by injuries.  A week ago today, in the biggest game of the year, my beloved Red Sox started Daniel Nava in left. They started Darnell McDonald in center They also started a second baseman who was a 22-year-old kid making his second big league start (Yamaico Navarro).  Yikes! You can’t expect to get to the post season like that. Oh ya, not to mention, let’s not forget, that because of said injuries, Boston’s everyday first baseman has been Mikey Lowell.  Don’t get me wrong. I love Mikey Lowell.  He’s a hero in my book.  He’s also hitting .235 and plans to retire at the end of the year.  Senator, I served with Kevin Youkilis.  I knew Kevin Youkilis.  Kevin Youkilis is a friend of mine.  Senator, you’re no Kevin Youkilis. Read More »

Come see victory in a land called fantasy.  Loving life to a new degree.  Bring your mind to everlasting liberty,  -Earth Wind & Fire

Public Service Announcement:  Here it comes!  Here comes football season.  The thrills.  The spills.  Oh, the humanity!  Like my main man Knute Rockne always says, “Football is a game played with arms, legs and shoulders, but mostly from the neck up.”  Fantasy football is played from the neck up.  To win, you have to be smart.  Not like Fredo.  Like dumb.  You have to be smart to get respect.  That’s where I come in.  Everybody knows about Drew Brees.  Everybody knows about Adrian Peterson.  Everybody knows about Andre Johnson.  It’s the other guys you have to know about.  The sleepers I’m here to crow about.  So let’s get to this.  Like we always knew this.  The Fantasy Football All-Sleeper Team:       Read More »

It takes two to make a thing go right.  It takes two to make it outta sight.  Hit it!  -Rob Base & DJ EZ Rock

Public Service Announcement:  Holy Chang and Eng Bunker, Batman!  Ever since little Bron Bron decided to take his talents down to South Beach to play along side the Flash, the Dynamic Duo talk started up.  That got me to thinking.  I got to thinking, who are some of the best Dynamic Duos is sports history?  Who are some of the best Dynamic Duos now?  After the jump you can see the results for yourselves.  You excited?  Sure you are.          Read More »

When the dog bites, when the bee stings, when I’m feeling sad, I simply remember my favorite things and then I don’t feel…so bad.  -Sound of Music

Public Service Announcement:   I love baseball as much as the next guy. Probably moreso. But in these dog days of summer, I sure do miss football.  First a disclaimer.  I am in no way, shape or form stating that these five cats are the five best running backs of all time.  OK?  Got it?  In no way, shape or form.  I am just saying these are the five cats I enjoyed watching running the rock the most.  Are we clear here?  Good.  Now let’s get to this.  Like we always knew this.  Like my main man Marvin Lewis.  You know you can’t resist.  All the way from Bankok to Budapest.  Dropping science like a nuclear physicist.  My five very favoritest.           Read More »