Matty told Hatty, “That’s the thing to do.  Get you someone really to pull the wool with you.”  Wooly bully, wooly bully.  Wooly bully, wooly bully, wooly bully.  -Sam the Sham & the Pharaohs

This ain’t no Weekend at Bernies.  This ain’t no Weekend With Maurie and Connie.  No.  I’m like Sam Quint.  I’m not talkin’ about pleasure boatin’ or day sailin’.  I’m talkin’ about workin’ for a livin’.  I’m talkin’ about sharkin’.  I’m talking about NFL Wildcard Weekend.  I’m talking about NFL Playoff football.  Growds folks’ football.  Win or go home football.  In this version of the NFL, there’s two kinds of teams my friend:  Those with big time quarterbacks, and those who dig.  Let’s see who’s who, shall we?  Sure we shall!               Read More »

The MVP of the game, intensity still the same.  I’m shootin out from my reign, with Peyton Manning type aim.  It’s the heart of a champion.  -Nelly

Public Service Announcement:  Ok, here we go!  It is no secret that over here at JQP Productions we are New England Patriots fans.  Being Patriots fans inherently means hating the Indianapolis Colts.  Ipso facto, we also hate Peyton Manning.  Don’t believe me?  Just ask Dollar Bill Simmons.  In Patriot Nation, we all believe Tom Brady is the best quarterback that has ever been borned.  When there is trouble, I’m there on the double.  From Atlantic to Pacific, they know Tom Terrific!  But, like my main man Screamin’ Steven A. Smith always says, “Howeva!”  However, it’s high time I gave Peyton Manning his due.            Read More »

I’ma tell it like it is.  Give it to ya straight, no chase, I’ma tell it like it is.  Look you straight in yo face and I’ma tell it like it is.  -Ludacris

Public Service Announcement:  Ok, here we go!  Just a short little one.  Like Public Enemy.  Quick fast in a hurry.  Don’t worry.  Flavor Flav vision ain’t blurry.  I’ll tell you someone else whose vision ain’t blurry.  Joe Montana’s vision ain’t blurry.  That’s right.  Joe Montana.  You might have heard of him.  Well, during this whole Super Bowl lovefest here, Peyton Manning is being bandied about as the greatest who ever lived.  Joe Montana was asked his thoughts on the matter.  You now what Joe said?  Huh?  Do ya?  Joe said, ““This is Manning’s second Super Bowl, and now they’re saying if he wins he’s the greatest?  Tom Brady’s sitting there with three rings and he’s been in four.”  That’s what Joe Montana said.  Put that in your pipe and smoke it.

Peace out homies.  Six two and Even!

Tonight there’s gonna be a jailbreak somewhere in this town.  See me and the boys we don’t like it, so were getting up and going down.  -Thin Lizzy

Public Service Announcement:  Ok, here we go!  Colts v. Saints.  Manning v. Brees.  Clash of the Titans.  Optimus Prime v.  Megatron.  Godzilla against the Smog Monster.  Ali against Frazier.  Mano y mano.  Manos de Piedra.  Fight to the finish.  They’re strong to the finish ’cause they eat their the spinach.  Yes sports fans with these to gunslingers at the helm it’s gonna be a shootout.  Like my main nas always says, “Shootouts is similar to Wild West.  Broad daylight, face to face without a vest.”  Hooray shootout!  Hooray rootin’ tootout!  Sweeter than passion fruitout.      

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It’s just another manic Monday.  I wish it was Sunday.  ‘Cause that’s my funday.  My I don’t have to runday.  It’s just another manic Monday.  -The Bangles

Public Service Announcement:  Ok, here we go!  Like my main Frank Gifford always says,”Pro football is like nuclear warfare. There are no winners, only survivors.”  Well, did you survive?  Huh?  Did ya?  Good.  Now let’s see who else survived.  Let’s see who else stayed alive. Ah ah ah ah stayin’ alive.  Shall we?  Sure we shall.               Read More »

If the Lord is my friend, we’ll meet at the end of the gunfight at O.K. Corral.  There they lay side by side.  The killers that died in the gunfight at O.K. Corral.  -Johnny Legend

Public Service Announcement: Ok, here we go!  Cavs v. Lakers.  Lebron v. Kobe.  Clash of the Titans.  Optimus Prime v.  Megatron.  Godzilla against the Smog Monster.  Ali against Frazier.  Mano y mano.  Manos de Piedra.  Fight to the finish.  They’re strong to the finish ’cause they eat their the spinach.  Kobe and LeBron are just one set of today’s great sports match ups.  Let’s take at look at the lot of ‘em.  Shall we?  Yes, we shall.   Read More »

But I’m strong, strong enough to carry him, yeah.  He ain’t heavy, he’s my brother.  -The Hollies

Public Service Announcement: Ok, here we go!  Horton hears a what?  Peyton Williams who?  We know all about him.  We know all about the six-five, 230-pound quarterback with the laser rocket arm.  What about Eli?  What about the guy with his sights set on his second straight Super Bowl?  If little Eli does accomplish this feat, which branch upon the Manning family tree does he perch? Read More »

Sippin’ on coke and rum.  I’m like so what I’m drunk.  It’s the freakin’ weekend baby, I’m about to have me some fun.  -R Kelly

Public Service Announcement: Ok, here we go!  Wildcard Weekend.  I cannot tell you how weird sad uncomfortable utterly horrible it is doing this one without the Patriots in the mix.  I know.  I must be strong.  I must carry on.  No better way than to just rip off the old band-aid.  You’ve been waiting for this. You’ve been longing for this.  You’ve been begging for this.  Well, here it comes. Read More »

Colts 31 Jaguars 24: How ’bout them Colts? My gal is red hot. Your gal ain’t doodely squat. That six-five, 230-pound quarterback with the laser rocket arm is red hot. Peyton Manning is MVP hot. Completing his first seventeen passes in a row hot. Eight consecutive wins hot. Playoff hot. That’s the best kinda hot. And let me tell you this, this is one football team you do not want to be facing in the playoffs.

Blazers 124 Suns 119: Talk about your red hot. Brandon Roy filled it up for fifty-two last night. Yowza! Over the last five games, Roy has amassed a bounding and astounding 185 points. What? That number doesn’t mean anything to you? It should. No Blazer player has ever had that kind of number in a five game span, ever. Not Clyde the Glide. Not no one. Not ever.

Big Bad Bruins 8 Leafs 5: More red hotness. Flambe rouge for our hockey krishnas. While everybody’s talking about the Celtics, there’s another team in Boston going streaking. The Bruins have just won eleven straight at home. All by two goals or more. You know who was the last team to do such a thing? Bobby Orr and the original Big Bad Bruins. That’s who.

When days go by, there’s room for you, room for me, for gentle hearts an opportunity. As days go by, it’s the bigger love of the family. -Family Matters

Public Service Announcement: Ok, here we go! Oh brother. O Brother where art thou? At the All Star Game, that’s where. For the first time in the history of the NFL’s annual all-star game in Hawaii, two brothers will be playing quarterback in the game. Now that’s pretty cool. Not to be left out, their father, Archie Manning, was selected to the Pro Bowl in 1978 and 1979. That’s even cooler. If there’s a first family of football, this is it.   Read More »