Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!  Even though the sound of it is something quite atrocious!  If you say it loud enough, you’ll always sound precocious.  Um-diddle-diddle-um-diddleye.  -Mary Poppins

It’s almost here!  Super Sunday.  Super fun day.  More fun than Plaxico Burress gun day.  It’s a quest for fun.  I’m gonna have fun and you’re gonna have fun.  We’re all gonna have so much f**king fun we’ll need plastic surgery to remove our godamn smiles.  You’ll be whistling ‘Zip-A-Dee Doo-Dah’ out of you’re assholes!  Now that’s fun.  You know what else is fun?  Huh?  Do ya?  Sure you do.  Making up All Star teams is fun.  I know, I know, you wanted chicks and guns and fire trucks and hookers and drugs and booze!  Do that on your own time.  This my time.  This my damn blog.  And now without further ado, my damn Super Bowl All Star team:    Read More »

Matty told Hatty, “That’s the thing to do.  Get you someone really to pull the wool with you.”  Wooly bully, wooly bully.  Wooly bully, wooly bully, wooly bully.  -Sam the Sham & the Pharaohs

This ain’t no Weekend at Bernies.  This ain’t no Weekend With Maurie and Connie.  No.  I’m like Sam Quint.  I’m not talkin’ about pleasure boatin’ or day sailin’.  I’m talkin’ about workin’ for a livin’.  I’m talkin’ about sharkin’.  I’m talking about NFL Wildcard Weekend.  I’m talking about NFL Playoff football.  Growds folks’ football.  Win or go home football.  In this version of the NFL, there’s two kinds of teams my friend:  Those with big time quarterbacks, and those who dig.  Let’s see who’s who, shall we?  Sure we shall!               Read More »

The MVP of the game, intensity still the same.  I’m shootin out from my reign, with Peyton Manning type aim.  It’s the heart of a champion.  -Nelly

Public Service Announcement:  Ok, here we go!  It is no secret that over here at JQP Productions we are New England Patriots fans.  Being Patriots fans inherently means hating the Indianapolis Colts.  Ipso facto, we also hate Peyton Manning.  Don’t believe me?  Just ask Dollar Bill Simmons.  In Patriot Nation, we all believe Tom Brady is the best quarterback that has ever been borned.  When there is trouble, I’m there on the double.  From Atlantic to Pacific, they know Tom Terrific!  But, like my main man Screamin’ Steven A. Smith always says, “Howeva!”  However, it’s high time I gave Peyton Manning his due.            Read More »

I get knocked down, but I get up again.  You’re never going to keep me down!  -Chumbawumba

Public Service Announcement:  No, we’re not talking about tee-shirts.  We’re not like Mr. Hooper.  We’re not talking about treasure boating or day sailing.   No we’re talking about the real wife beaters.  Today we bid adieu to a real wife beater.  Today we bid adieu to Bobby Cox.   I’ve heard people say, “Bobby Cox did it the right way.”  If by the right way you mean getting arrested by police at his home, jailed overnight and being charged with simple battery after punching his wife and pulling her hair, then ya, sure.  Pulling her hair?  C’mon you sissy, knock it off.  After the jump, we’ll look at other members of the All Wife Beating team.          Read More »

There is a house in New Orleans they call the Rising Sun.  And it’s been the ruin of many a poor boy, and God, I know, I’m one.  -The Animals

Public Service Announcement:  Ok, here we go!  Like my main man Tom Landry always says, “Football is an incredible game.  Sometimes it’s so incredible, it’s unbelievable.”  Yesterday’s Super Bowl was an incredible game.  Sometimes it was so incredible, it was unvelieveable.  I’ll tell you who else who said something.  Ric Flair said something.  Ric Flair said:

That’s right.  To be the man, you gotta beat the man.  Wooooooo!           Read More »

Well it’s about two hours to kickoff and I got stuff to do so I leave you with this. But just remember, if you’re driving, don’t drink; and if you’re drinking, don’t drive.

Peace out homies. Six two and even!

I’ma tell it like it is.  Give it to ya straight, no chase, I’ma tell it like it is.  Look you straight in yo face and I’ma tell it like it is.  -Ludacris

Public Service Announcement:  Ok, here we go!  Just a short little one.  Like Public Enemy.  Quick fast in a hurry.  Don’t worry.  Flavor Flav vision ain’t blurry.  I’ll tell you someone else whose vision ain’t blurry.  Joe Montana’s vision ain’t blurry.  That’s right.  Joe Montana.  You might have heard of him.  Well, during this whole Super Bowl lovefest here, Peyton Manning is being bandied about as the greatest who ever lived.  Joe Montana was asked his thoughts on the matter.  You now what Joe said?  Huh?  Do ya?  Joe said, ““This is Manning’s second Super Bowl, and now they’re saying if he wins he’s the greatest?  Tom Brady’s sitting there with three rings and he’s been in four.”  That’s what Joe Montana said.  Put that in your pipe and smoke it.

Peace out homies.  Six two and Even!

They call me Mr. Dynamite.  I blow things up in black and white.  Oh Mommy, Mommy, Mommy, do you remember Mr. Dynamite?  He blew things up in black and white.  -Iggy Pop

Public Service Announcement:  Ok, here we go!  First things first.  First thing is I don’t have a horse in this race.  I’m like the Marcels, without a dream in my heart, without a love of my own.  My love went down when Wes Welker went down in the last game of the regular season.  Having said that, I’ll say this.  I’ll say there is a guy I’m rooting for.  I’ll say I’m rooting for Mr. Excitement.  No, not Jackie Wilson.  No, I’m rooting for Reggie Bush.           Read More »

Tonight there’s gonna be a jailbreak somewhere in this town.  See me and the boys we don’t like it, so were getting up and going down.  -Thin Lizzy

Public Service Announcement:  Ok, here we go!  Colts v. Saints.  Manning v. Brees.  Clash of the Titans.  Optimus Prime v.  Megatron.  Godzilla against the Smog Monster.  Ali against Frazier.  Mano y mano.  Manos de Piedra.  Fight to the finish.  They’re strong to the finish ’cause they eat their the spinach.  Yes sports fans with these to gunslingers at the helm it’s gonna be a shootout.  Like my main nas always says, “Shootouts is similar to Wild West.  Broad daylight, face to face without a vest.”  Hooray shootout!  Hooray rootin’ tootout!  Sweeter than passion fruitout.      

Read More »

If it hadn’t been for Cotton-Eye Joe, I’d been married long time ago.  Where did you come from where did you go?  Where did you come from Cotton-eye Joe?  -Rednex

Public Service Announcement:  Ok, here we go!  All I know is, a couple of years ago, Mercury Morris was like Savoir Faire.  He was everywhere.  He was everyhere talking smack on my beloved New England Patriots.  He was everywhere saying stuff like, “They have 10 more icebergs to go through in this Titanic trip that they’re talking about.”  He said stuff like, “Call me when you’re in my town, call me when you’re on my block.”  Stuff like, “Call me when I see you next door moving your furniture in.”  Well sports fans, both the New Orleans Saints and the Indianapolis Colts are loading up the old U-Haul and I don’t see neither hide nor hair of good ole Mercury Morris.  Neither hide nor hair.  Where the hell is he?  Could it be?  Is he scairt?  Does he know in his heart of hearts this is the season? C’mon Merc, show yourself!

Public Spectacle:

Peace out homies. Six two and Even!