Peace out homies. Six two and even!

With the dust having settled on yet another NBA season and Dan Gilbert and the Cleveland Cavaliers Mark Cuban and the Mavericks returning to Dallas with the Larry O’Brien trophy for the first time in franchise history, it felt appropriate to join in on the collective nationwide beating of the dead horse that is Lebron James and the Miami Heat. And yes, for the record, this year was as close as the Cavs will ever get to a championship of their own in any of our lifetimes. In fact, I suggest that Cleveland throws whatever the opposite of a ticker-tape parade is to dishonor Lebron, because unless the NCAA ignores the used car lot over at Ohio State, it is going to be a while before anyone is celebrating another champion in the Plum City or the rest of the state for that matter.          

As for Lebron, he will assuredly get more opportunities to win an NBA title based on the projected length of his career and the current age of the other two south beach superstars. That being said, the question regarding King James is no longer whether or not he will ever live up to the hype of the Jordan comparisons (he never will, please let it go) but simply if he will ever win a championship at all. Though his playoff line of 23.7 points per game and more than 8 rebounds per contest is impressive, especially considering that he had 5.9 assists each night out, it was the most half-hearted 6 games that I have ever seen from someone with his ability in any of their respective sports. He made the same face after each Mavs win that A-Rod made after every strikeout in the playoffs (excluding 2009 when he carried the Yanks). And that is the face of a highly-skilled, overpaid and immature superstar who will never be endeared like his own idols due to nothing but his own device and decisions, or in Lebron’s case, decision.

I am positive that Lebron will win a title at some point in his career. And I am positive that the majority of fans will root against him until he does. But at that point I am willing to guess that he will be the same as other players like him in that he will be in his thirties and nobody will care because he will be known more for being fed popcorn in the stands and for carrying a clutch, than being clutch himself.

I love me some Jason Terry!  There were doubters.  Doubters day in and day outers.  There were words bandied abouters.  Like my main man Jimmy Conway always says, “No, no, no, no, no. You insulted him a little bit. You got a little bit out of order yourself.” But Jason Terry had the last word.  Mark Cuban: “The media was killing him:  ‘He can’t perform in the playoffs.  He’s not clutch in the playoffs. He’s too this, he’s too that.’  He shoved it up everybody’s ass.”  Yes he did Mark, yes he did.  He shoved it up everybody’s ass by scoring a game-high 27 points in Game 6 after netting 21 points in Game 5.  You know what that makes boys and girls?  That makes history.  Jason Terry just became the first player to score more than 20 points off the bench in each of two consecutive games during an NBA Finals series since Jim King of the San Francisco Warriors did it against the 76ers in Games 3 (28 points) and 4 (23 points) of the 1967 Finals.  Manu Ginobili never done did that.  Kevin McHale never done did that.  Bobby Jones and Freddy Downtown Brown never done did that.  The Jet done did.

Peace out Heat.  Six two and even!

On May 9, 1974, 25-year-old Bruce Springsteen played at the Harvard Square Theater in Cambridge.  Although popular with the college crowd in the Northeast, Springsteen was not yet a star.  That night, he and the E Street Band opened for Bonnie Raitt.  The influential music critic Jon Landau was in the audience.  Overwhelmed by what he had heard, Landau wrote, “I saw my rock and roll past flash before my eyes. I saw something else: I saw rock and roll’s future and its name is Bruce Springsteen.”  Last night, May 12, 2011, the Miami Heat vanquished the mighty mighty Boston Celtics at American Airlines Arena in Miami.  Overwhelmed but what I saw, I write, “I saw my basketball past flash before my eyes.  I saw something else:   I saw basketball’s future and its name is the Miami Heat.”    

Throughout this series the Boston Celtics played with guts.  They played with toughness.  They ate lightnin’ and they crapped thunder.  They gave the Miami Heat everything they could handle but four times out of five, Miami punched Boston right in the mouth when a punch in the mouth was needed most.  Like my main man the Outlaw Josey Wales always says, “Now remember, when things look bad and it looks like you’re not gonna make it, then you gotta get mean.  I mean plumb, mad-dog mean.  ‘Cause if you lose your head and you give up then you neither live nor win.  That’s just the way it is.” Yes it is Josey, yes it is.

Against the Boston Celtics, the Heat did lose their heads.  When things looked bad for Miami, they got mean.  They got plumb, mad-dog mean.  In game 2, in the fourth quarter, the Celtics clawed out a 13-6 run to get themselves right back in the ball game.  The Heat responded.  They got plumb, mad-dog mean.  In game 4, Boston took an 84-81 fourth quarter lead with 2:28 on the clock after back-to-back 3-pointers by Delonte West and Ray Allen.  The Heat responded.  They got plumb, mad-dog mean.  Last night, the Celtics led for just about the entire game.  Then with 2:10 left in the game,  LeBron James got plumb, mad-dog mean and responded by knocking a huge three to put Miami up for good.  Knock knock.  Who’s there?  The Miami Heat, Bitch!

Throughout this inaugural season of these new-look Miami Heat, criticisms abounded, especially when it came to  closing out ballgames.  After all, prior to Game 3 against Boston, these new-look Miami Heat played 21 games that were decided by five points or fewer.  After all, prior to Game 3 against Boston, these new-look Miami Heat won just six of those, or 29%.  That’s bad.  That’s really bad.  That’s just downright abysmal.  So abysmal in fact,  just one other NBA team, the Minnesota Timberwolves, who finished 17-65, the worst record in the league fared worse.  That’s all water under the bridge now.  “To exorcise this demon for a lot of us,” is the way coach Erik Spoelstra described what last night meant.  What it means for the rest of the NBA is a world of trouble.

In this series, Dwyane Wade averaged 30.2 points per game.  In this series, LeBron James scored 28.0 points per game.  Just so you know, the last pair of teammates to each average at least 28 points per game in a playoff series were the Suns’ Steve Nash (30.3) and Amar’e Stoudemire (28.8) in 2005 against the Mavericks.  Just so you know too, no other teammates ever before each averaged at least 28 points per game in a playoff series win against the Celtics.  Because so much has been expected of the Big 3 and this team, it is easy to overlook what just happened.  What just had happened was The Miami put the basketball world on notice.  Get used to them.  They ain’t going nowheres.

Peace out Celtics. Six two and even!

Peace out Tractor. Six two and even!

Watch above as an embarrased Bulls fan takes off his cowboy hat with a quickness when he notices he is on camera. Haven’t we seen this kid before? Doesn’t he look a little something like that guy to your left? And not for nothin’, that reminds of a story that goes a little something like this. One evening, when Karl Malone was on the Lakers, he was wearing a cowboy hat and boots. Now apparently Kobe’s wife took notice of this and asked Karl, “Hey, cowboy, what are you hunting?” To which Karl replied,”I’m hunting for little Mexican girls.” Little Mexican girls. Oh that Karl.

Peace out homies. Six two and even!

Just cut the stuff, ’til you get enough.  ‘Cause we’re rougher than tougher and rougher tougher than tough!  -Run DMC

Ok, here we go!  Like my main man Popeye always says, “I’ve had all I can stands, I can’t stands no more.”  How many times do we have to see it?  How many times do we have to see D-Wade flying to the hole?  See him death defying to the hole?  See him electrifying to the hole?  How many time do we have to see Delonte West’s booty call’s son get into the lane?  Get into the lane without shame?  Again and again?  Until he’s drinking champagne?  Enough is enough.  The Boston Celtics need to get tough.  Rough and tough.  HR Puffnstuff.  Can’t get a little ’cause you cant get enough.         

Yes sports fans, the Celtics need to get rough.  Like Kevin McHale got rough.  Like Kevin McHale got rough back in 1984.  Back in 1984 against the Los Angeles Lakers.  The Showtime Lakers.  The Jack Nicholson Lakers.  The Dancing Barry Lakers.  Bird Vs. Magic.  East Coast Vs. West Coast.  The Celtics were just embarrassed in Game Three.  Just humiliated in Game Three.  Just abased in Game Three.  And it was happening again.  Happening again in Game Four.

Magic was going coast-to-coast all willy-nilly like.  Big Game James was going to the rack unmercifully.  Byron Scott was knocking down jumper after jumper.  Kareem was skyhooking with reckless abandon.  And that’s when it happened.  That’s when I saw her, ooh, I saw her.  She walked in through the out door, out door.  Kevin McHale walked in through the out door, out door.  Kevin McHale walked in through the out door and smashed Kurt Rambis to the ground.  He simply caught that four eyed freak in mid-air, grabbed him around the neck, and threw him to the ground.

It was brutal.  It was mesmerizing.  It was tantalizing.  Captivating.  Devastating.  That’s the no lay-up rule baby!  It turned around the game.  It turned around the series.  It turned around the way Pat Riley coached basketball for evermore.  It is what the Celtics desperately need to employ.  Right here.  Right now.

Dwyane Wade goes flying to the rim?  Smash him to the ground.  No lay-up rule. LeBron James gets into the lane?  Smash him to the ground.  No lay-up rule.  The joke is over. Fun and games are over.  This ain’t no party.  This ain’t no disco.  This ain’t no fooling around.  No time for dancing.  Or lovey dovey.  I ain’t got time for that now.  This is playoff basketball, I ain’t got time for any of it.  And neither should the Celtics.

Next time a Heat player goes to the rim, this is what the Celtics must do:

Peace out homies.  Six two and even!

First, it should be pointed out that the 2011 NCAA tournament enjoyed its highest overall television ratings in the past 17 years.  This is obviously due to the combination of games broadcast across all of the Turner cable partners.

Now, for some specificsWhat worked

• Broadcasting every game – This seems like a no-brainer, but for any sports fan the ability to pick and choose is a must, and CBS/Turner delivered that this year, at no additional cost (Bye, Bye Directv March Madness package) to the viewer
• Staggered Start Times – Allowed the viewer to catch the exciting conclusion to any game without having to make a tough viewing choice.
• Notifications  – The network added a blinking button feature to the in game scoreboard of any close game airing on another network.  This made it almost idiot proof for viewers, and lets face it, we are all kind of idiots
• Charles and Kenny – While it was obvious that Charles Barkley and Kenny Smith had not followed college basketball all year, they were still entertaining and a must watch.  Granted, Barkley did rail against the 1-and-done rule about 50 times a game, but he did so colorfully and honestly.  Smith, beside being a UNC homer and apologist, wasn’t as insightful as he is on NBA games, but he was markedly better than whatever else CBS/Turner would have rolled out
• Gus Johnson – The guy just brings it every game.  He brings an air of excitement to every game he calls, and somehow he always seems to be on a close game that comes down to the final shot.  Yes, he did ask a somewhat boneheaded question at the end of the BYU-Florida game, but that is more of an aberration than an habit.  In our opinion, and based on the almost cult following he receives, Gus is the best play by play guy out there right now

What didn’t work/Needs Changes

• Reggie Miller – For some reason he seemed really out of place in the tournament.  His NBA counterparts (Barkley, Smith, and Kerr) were able to fit in somewhat easily, but Reggie seemed like he dropped in from a strange plant and had never seen a college basketball game before.  His chemistry with Len Elmore was awful, and even play by play guru Gus Johnson couldn’t make him sound interested.
• The Three Man Booth – First, to be consistent, this isn’t a gripe solely with college basketball or CBS.  However, the three man booth is generally a bad idea, especially when it isn’t the normal configuration.  The final four trio of Nantz, Kellogg, and Kerr just did not seem to mesh, and in our opinion, Kerr outshined Kellogg in his analysis of the game.  If this group had worked 15 games together all year, it might be a different story, but to throw these guys together for 7 games a year and expect greatness just doesn’t seem realistic.  CBS needs to choose one analyst, and in our opinion, it should probably be Kerr.
• Jim Nantz – Much in the same way Billy Packer dragged on past his years, Nantz seems to be hanging on like that piece of gum stuck to your shoe.  The reality is that he is not a strong basketball play by play guy, but he is the lead voice of CBS Sports.  This is kind of like ABC using Al Michaels to call NBA basketball simply because he was Al Michaels.  Don’t get us wrong, Nantz is serviceable, but an upgrade, say to Gus Johnson, might inject some new life into the broadcast.
• Seth Davis’ demotion – CBS/Turner decided to bump Seth from the lead pre-game/halftime set with Greg Gumbel, Kenny Smith, Greg Anthony, and Charles Barkley to the secondary (cable) set with Ernie Johnson, Steve Smith, and a revolving door of coaches and guests.  We generally liked Davis on the CBS set in the past and were surprised to see him moved, however it did seem like he and Barkley had the chemistry of a drunken one night stand couple the morning after.  Davis is insightful and knowledgeable, and he should have had as big a role this year as he has it past years.
• Championship Game Start Time – The finale on Monday night tips at 9:21 eastern.  This is later than the World Series, Super Bowl, BCS Championship game, and NBA finals (barring West Coast teams).  In our opinion the NCAA puts on a great four week tournament, and then squibbs the biggest game.  Not to play the whole “what about the kids” card, but the reality is that a 9:21 start time will alienate and preclude some fans from being able to watch and enjoy the game.  CBS needs to bump the start time up to 8:00pm eastern.  They should also use one of there Turner cable partners (TruTV?) to provide alternate camera angles/positions and announcers for the game.

Overall, the majority of the 2011 NCAA Tournament has been a joy to watch, but as with all things, it could always be better.

Here are some 2011 Tournament Highlights

Stay Thirsty my Friends

Back by popular demand!  Just in case you didn’t know.  Maybe you didn’t hear about it, you’ve been away a long time.   They didn’t go up there and tell you.  They didn’t go up there and tell you the Brass Bonanza Award is given to the week’s biggest loser.  Brass Bonanza was the Hartford Whalers fight song.  Need I say more?   This weeks winner, er loser, is Carmelo Anthony.  Hooray Carmelo Anthony!     

After the Knicks’ 111-99 blowout loss to the Orlando Magic Wednesday night at the World’s Most Famous Arena, Carmelo Anthony responded by saying, “We need to relax and have fun.”  Relax?  Have fun?  Hey Carmelo, are you out of your goddammed mind!!??  When the New York Knickerbockers lost to the Celtics on Monday night, it was their sixth loss out of their last seven games.  But that ain’t the half of it.  Like my main Elliot Ness always says, “Many things are half the battle. Losing is half the battle.  Let’s think about what is all the battle.”

Here’s the whole battle:  The Knicks allowed Boston to score 33 fourth-quarter points and the Celtics overcame a a 51-37 halftime deficit.  Just so you know, that raised New York’s average fourth-quarter yield to 28.4 points over the 16 games since Carmelo Anthony joined the team on February 23.  Just so you know, that’s the highest yield in the NBA over that span.  So, who can relax?  Who can have fun?  Not Knicks’ fans.  Nuggets fans are relaxing.  They’re having fun.  They’re 11-4 since the trade and have solidified their playoff position.  The Knicks, meanwhile, are 7-10 with Anthony and have lost their last four and are 1-7 in their last eight games to fall under .500 overall (35-36) and to seventh place in the Eastern Conference. So Carmelo Anthony, this Brass Bonanza is for you:

Peace out homies. Six two and even!

Peace out homies!  Six Two and Even!