I’d lay my head on the railroad tracks and wait for the Double “E”.  But the railroad don’t run no more, poor, poor pitiful me.  -Warren Zevon

I feel bad for Baron Davis.  I do.  I really do.  Just when he was embracing the sport of basketball once again, the Clippers go and trade him to the hapless Cleveland Cavaliers in exchange for Mo Williams and Jamario Moon.  There was a time we all loved Boom Dizzle.  A time when Boom Dizzle was the greatest show on earth.  A time when Boom Dizzle put the entire Golden State Warriors on his back and single-handedly dismantled the heavily favored Dallas Mavericks in the  2007 playoffs.  A time when Steve Kerr gushed and called Boom Dizzle’s performance, ”Outrageous…stunningly athletic and creative and explosive.”  Then, Boom Dizzle took his talents to Tinsletown.  He took his talents to Tinsletown and got stiffed by Elton Brand.  He got stiffed by Elton Brand and seemed to lose interest.  He seemed to lack a certain vim.  He seemed to lack a certain vigor.  Vince Carter style.  But this season with the new look Clips, Boom Dizzle was re-energized.  Re-energized in the month of January.  In the month of January, the new look Clips went 9-5.   In the month of January, Boom Dizzle had only one game with less than 12 points and only one game with fewer than four assists.  He averaged 15.6 points and seven assists for the month.  Blake Griffin:  “He’s played a huge role [in our resurgence.]“  I always loved me some Boom Dizzle, and like Kellie Pickler, he was makin’ me fall in love again.  But now, in Cleveland, I do believe this will be the end of him.

Peace out homies.  Six two and even!

And then he looked right through me as if I wasn’t there.  And he just kept on singing, singing strong and clear.  Killing me softly with his song.  Killing me softly with his song.  -Roberta Flack

The Jazz were down 87-86 to the Chicago Bulls down the stretch.  The Jazz got the ball and Deron Williams headed upcourt on the fast break.  He…Could…Go…All…The…Way!  He could, but he doesn’t.  Instead, Derrick Rose caught up from behind and knocked the ball away to give the Bulls the ball back with about a minute left.  Next thing you know, Rose is blowing past Williams staright to the hizzy.  Next thing thing you know, Williams throws the ball away.  Next thing you know, the Bulls win!  The Bulls win!  The Bulls win!  Next thing you know, Jerry Sloan stepped down after 23 seasons and 1,127 wins at the helm of the Utah Jazz, saying he simply ran out of energy to coach anymore.  Rumor has it, he simply ran out of energy to caoch Deron Williams anymore.  Rumor has it, Deron Williams refused to run plays Jerry Sloan called.  Rumor has it, Deron Williams led a mutiny against Jerry Sloan.  Apparently, he didn’t appreciate Sloan’s Captain Queeglike ways.  Queeg:  “Mr. Maryk, you may tell the crew for me that there are four ways of doing things aboard my ship: The right way, the wrong way, the Navy way, and my way.  They do things my way, and we’ll get along.”  Williams didn’t want to do things Sloan’s way.  They didn’t get along.  Now, Jerry Sloan haws gone the way of Captain Queeg, transferred to an obscure naval supply depot in Iowa.  But Williams isn’t the first coach killer the NBA has seen.  Wanna read about some more?  Sure you do.  Follow me after the jump.          Read More »

Well, I’ve been haunted in my sleep.  You’ve been starring in my dreams.  Lord I miss you.  -Rolling Stones

From the best of times to the worst of times.  From the spring of hope to the winter of despair.  From the season of Light to the season of Darkness.  From going direct to Heaven to going direct the other way.  From LeBron to life without LeBron.  Last night, without LeBron, the Cleveland Cavaliers’ lost to the Heat with LeBron.  Last night, without LeBron, the Cleveland Cavaliers dropped their record to 8-40.  For those of you keeping score at home, that makes them the first team to reach 40 losses this season.  Last year, with LeBron, they were the first team to reach 40 wins.  You know what that makes them boys and girls?  C’mon take a guess.  That’s right, that makes them the first team in NBA history to be the first to reach 40 losses in one season after being the first to record 40 wins in the previous season.  Yowza! What a difference a year makes.  What a difference a player makes.            Read More »

I’ve had the blues, the reds and the pinks.  One thing’s for sure, love stinks.  Love stinks, yeah yeah.  J. Geils Band

When LeBron took his talents to South Beach, we all knew the Cleveland Cavaliers would be bad.  However, at the outset, it didn’t seem so awful.  At the outset, LeBron and the Miami Heat began the season 9-8 and we were all ecstatic that they were failing so miserably.  Meanwhile back in Cleveland, the Cavaliers were a respectable 7-9 and decent enough that a person could consider the King James loss to be something less than catastrophic.  That was then.  This is now.  Now, from the time Cleveland was 7-9, they went 1-21.  Now, from the time Miami was 9-8, they went 21-1.  Now, the Heat are vying for top spot in the East with the vaunted Boston Celtics.  Meanwhile back in Cleveland,  the Cavs are worst team in basketball.  Meanwhile back in Cleveland, the Cavs have lost eight games this season by at least 20 points.  Meanwhile back in Cleveland, the Cavs have lost the most games by at least 20 points for any team in the NBA.  Just so you know, the Cavs were the only team in the league not to lose a game by 20 points last season and did so only 21 times during the Bron Bron era.  Dan Gilbert: “I PERSONALLY GUARANTEE THAT THE CLEVELAND CAVALIERS WILL WIN AN NBA CHAMPIONSHIP BEFORE THE SELF-TITLED FORMER ‘KING’ WINS ONE.”  Uh….no.

Peace out Cleveland.  Six two and even

First there were the Valiants.  Then there were the Moondogs and the Samoans.  Now, there’s these guys:

Peace out homies. Six two and even!

Like Roger Clemens, Brett Favre and Nick Saban before him, LeBron James a special message for his loyal Cleveland fanbase:

Peace out homies. Six two and even!

Who’s afraid of the big bad wolf , the big bad wolf, the big bad wolf?  Who’s afraid of the big bad wolf?  Tra la la la la.  -Three Little Pigs

Public Service Announcement:  Ok, here we go!  The Celtics are back baby!  Back in the back of a Cadillac.  Number one with a bullet, they’re a power pack.  They’re a power pack in these here playoffs all right.  Know this sports fans, when the Boston Celtics are power packin’ with their starting lineup intact this season, they are 38-18.  Like my main Larry David always says, that’s pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty good.        Read More »

Good, better, best.  Never let it rest.  Until your good is better and your better is best.  -Tim Duncan

Public Service Announcement:   Ok, here we go!  Everybody here in the Big Apple is jibbering about LeBron.  Everybody here in the Big Apple is jabbering about LeBron.  Jibbering and jabbering.  Blubbering and blabbering.  All this chitter-chatter, chitter-chatter, chitter-chatter ’bout schmatte, schmatte, schmatte.  I can’t give it away on 7th Avenue.  Rolling Stones style.  Maybe the New York Knickerbockers should think about giving it away to Dwyane Wade.  Last night,  D-Wade scored 38 points and dished out 10 dimes.  Yowza!  That’s the sixth time in his career that Flash had that many points and that many assists in a game, all since 2006-07.  Sweet sassy molassy!  That’s the most such games for any NBA player over that span.  The most.  For any player.  That’s right.  More than your beloved Bron Bron.  One more than your beloved Bron Bron, but more just the same.  So there.

Public Spectacle:

Peace out homies. Six two and Even!

Aiyyo, Bo knows this.  What?  And Bo knows that.  What?  But Bo don’t know jack, cause Bo can’t rap.  -Tribe Called Quest

Public Service Announcement:  Ok, here we go!  Oh, what A night for LeBron James.  A late December back in ’63 night.  First, he knocks down 40 points in the Cavaliers’ 99-92 win against the Pistons.  Hooray LeBron James!  That’s the third time that he’s scored 40 or more points vs. Detroit in a regular-season game.  Big deal you say? Who cares you say? I say, that ties Shaq Daddy  for the most career 40-point games against the Pistons among active NBA players.  But, if that weren’t enough, he also pitched the 7th inning against Pirates  and was simply awesome.  Simply the best. Better than all the rest. He simply struck out the first two batters and got the third to pop up.  Down goes Walker!  Down goes Raynor!  Down goes Iwamura!  Is there nothing this LeBron James character cannot do?  Huh?  What?  That wat was Baltimore Oriloles’ Luis LeBron.  Oh, that’s very different.  Nevermind. 

Public Spectacle:

Peace out homies.  Six two and Even!

But me, I got six.  I got six.  That’s all there is.  Six times one is six, one times six.  I got six.  That’s all there is.  -Schoolhouse Rock

Public Service Announcement:  Ok, here we go!  At this point, everybody knows little Bron Bron is switching numbers.  Everybody knows little Bron Bron is switching numbers to make the big bucks.  He can say he’s making a statement.  He can say this is all about honoring Michael Jordan.  It ain’t.  By changing from employee  number 23 to employee number 6, little Bron Bron is anticiapting a big merchandise explosion in both old and new Lebron James paraphernalia.  Good for him.  Just don’t say you’re making a statement.  Wanna make a statement?  Huh?  Do ya.  Wear number 25.  It doesn’t matter what number you change to.  The dollar amount will be the same.  But, if you wear number 25, you’ll be sticking it squarely in the mug of one Kobe Wan Kinobi.  The Mamba changed to number 24 to be one better than MJ.  What will 25 make you?  Huh?  Huh? 

Public Spectacle:

Peace out homies.  Six two and Even!