What does it take to be number one?  Two is not a winner and three nobody remembers.  What does it take to be number one?  Hey hey hey hey..  -Nelly

Opening day is just two weeks away.  Ahhhh, baseball.  The one constant through all the years, Ray, has been baseball.  America has rolled by like an army of steamrollers.  It has been erased like a blackboard, rebuilt and erased again.  But baseball has marked the time.  I know it’s a little early.  I know what Bill Veeck said.  I know he said, “This is a game to be savored, not gulped.  There’s time to discuss everything between pitches or between innings.”  I don’t care.  I want it all.  I want it now.  I want to know what the Big Fundamental wants to know.  “Good, better, best.  Never let it rest.  Until your good is better and your better is best.”  Who’s good?  Who’s the best?  Today we will discuss who’s the best.  We’ll discuss who’s the worst.  And we’ll discuss everything in between.  So, without further ado, let’s hand out the hardware:          Read More »

Lucky there’s a family guy.  Lucky there’s a man who, positively can do, all the things that make us laugh and cry.  He’s a family guy!  -Family Guy

Public Service Announcement:  I do love me some Family Guy.  I do love me some sports.  Put ‘em together what do you get?  You get a whole boatload of fun.  A ton of fun. An overabundance of fun. A gaggle of fun.  A barrel full of monkeys of fun.  A plethora of fun.  Like my main El Guapo always says, “You just told me I have a plethora and I would like to know if you know what a plethora is.  I would not like to think that a person would tell someone he has a plethora, and then find out that that person has no idea what it means to have a plethora.”  I know what it means to have a plethora.  So let’s do this.  Like we always knew this.  Like my man Jerry Lewis.  Let’s all have us some Family Guy fun, shall we?  Sure we shall.  And awaaaaay we go!  Read More »

It had to be you, it had to be you.  I wandered around, and finally found the somebody who could make me be true and could make me be blue.  -Frank Sinatra

Public Service Announcement:  Ok, here we go!  Make no mistakes about it, I love me some Manny Ramirez.  But, first thing’s first.  First thing is, I did not like the way Manny Ramirez went out.  Not one bit.  I did not like it in a box.  I did not like it with a fox.  I did like the two rings he brought to Boston.  I did like having the best right handed hitter that baseball has ever seen.  The best there’s ever been.  A lean mean hitting machine.  Liked it a lot.  But now he’s gone.  That’s life, that’s what all the people say.  You’re riding high in April.  Shot down in May.  But Manny changed that tune.  Now that he’s back on top, back on top in June July.       Read More »

I’ll go but I’ll be back again, ’cause I told you once before good-bye, but I came back again.  -The Beatles

Public Service Announcement:  Ok, here we go!  Major League Baseball, I’m putting you on notice.  I’m letting you know that soon, the Los Angeles Dodgers are going to be one scary baseball team.  One very, very, scary baseball team.  Scarier than they are already are now.  Very, very, much scarier.  Rob Flippo, whose regular job is to serve as bullpen catcher for the Dodgers, says Manny Ramirez is hitting better now than he was before the start of his 50-game suspension for violating MLB’s drug policy.  Yowza!  Say what you want about Manny, but you know what that means boys and girls?  Huh?  Do Ya?  That means bad news for everybody else.

Peace out homies.  Six two and Even!

Vote, baby vote.  Vote, baby vote.  Are you registered baby?  -Dee Lite

Public Service Announcement: Ok, here we go!  Everybody’s yakking about Manny Ramirez making the All Star team.  Everybody’s quacking about Manny making the All Star team.  Everybody’s talking smacking about Manny making the All Star team.  Bud Selig is weighing his options:  “I’m going to think about that.  It bothers me that someone would cheat.”  It didn’t seem to bother him when folks were hitting the ball a country mile while Major League Baseball was hitting the jackpot.  Joe Torre disagrees with Wilfred Brimley.  Joe Torre does not think it’s the right thing to do and the right way to do it:  “He didn’t earn, other than from his reputation, to be, this year, in the All-Star game.”  Funny, I remember back in 2001 Torre picking seven Yankees to the All Star team.  Seven!  Picking them for their reputation.  Mike Stanton?  Honestly.  Bernie Williams:  “‘You take care of him and do everything in your power to make him look good, and he’s going to do everything in his power to make you look good.”  I guess Manny carrying the Dodgers on his back into the playoffs didn’t make Joe look good enough.  So Binky, you’re all fed up with state of baseball?  You’ve had enough of the hypocrisy?  You wanna make a difference?  You wanna make a stand?  Huh?  Do ya?  Good.  Vote Manny! 

Peace out homies.  Six two and Even!

I ain’t missing you at all since you’ve been gone away.  I ain’t missing you, no matter what my friends say.  -John Waite

Public Service Announcement:  Ok, here we go!  True blue Dodgers fans may be pissed at Manny Ramirez.  Joe Torre may call it a disappointment.  But I’ll show you one cat who ain’t upset.  I’ll show you one cat who’s flying high as a jet.  One cat whose life is now as sweet as a crepe Suzette.  That one cat is Juan Pierre.  Last night, Juan Pierre had three hits in the Dodgers’ win over the Rockies.  Pierre is hitting .422 since Manny‘s suspension began on May 7. Only two National League players have a higher batting average than Pierre over that span.  Only Miguel Tejada and Casey Blake.   Maybe Manny should give up his All Star spot to Juan Pierre.  Just saying.

Peace out homies.  Six two and Even!

Bigmouth, la la la, bigmouth.  Bigmouth strikes again and I’ve got no right to take my place with the Human race.   -The Smiths 

Public Service Announcement:  Ok, here we go!  Nobody likes a big mouth.  I know I said I’d be back at full strength today.  I lied.  More like Monday.  But still.  But still, I saw this and had to write something.  I saw the LA Times article with the headline: HCG Not Found In Manny Ramirez Drug Test.  Like Eddie Murphy always says,  “We need a hook.  We need an eye catcher.”  That headline hooked me.  That headline caught my eye.        Read More »

Manny Bobble singing the Dodger Blues:

Peace out homies. Six Two and Even!

We’re on a road to nowhere, come on inside.  Takin’ that ride to nowhere, we’ll take that ride. -Talking Heads.  

Public Service Announcement:  Ok, here we go!  Joe Torre says, “The worst thing I think a person can be is a disappointment to somebody else.”  Joe Torre says, “Manny feels like a disappointment.” Joe Torre is right.  Manny Ramirez‘ fifty game suspension for testing positive for performance enhancing drugs is going to crush this Dodgers team.  Since the start of the 2008 season, the Dodgers are 50-30 (.625) with a .283 team batting average and are averaging five runs per game in the 80 games Ramirez has played.  In the games without Ramirez, the Dodgers are 55-57 (.491) with a .257 team batting average and are averaging 4.2 runs per game.  That’s more than a dsisappointment.

Peace out homies.  Six two and Even!

Another one bites the dust.  Hey, I’m gonna get you too.  Another one bites the dust.  -Queen 

Public Service Announcement:  Ok, here we go!  More on this story as it breaks but the LA Times is reporting Manny Ramirez has tested positive for performance-enhancing drugs and will be suspended 50 games starting today.  Ay carumba!  Last season, Manny was brought to Tinseltown for one reason and one reason only.  Your mission, should you choose to accept it, involves winning the National League West.  As always, should any member of your team be caught or killed, or use steroids, the Secretary will disavow all knowledge of your actions.  This message will self-destruct in five seconds.  The Dodgers have just self destructed.

Peace out homies.  Six two and Even!