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Ryan Howard: No Longer Afraid

By: josh q. public on: Thursday, August 27, 2009 @12:13 pm

Ryan Howard:  No Longer Afraid

Don’t be afraid, it’s just the cats at play.  Don’t be afraid, they do it night and day.  How very strange.  -John Lennon

Public Service Announcement:  Ok, here we go!  I used to think Ryan Howard was a chicken  I used to think he was a scaredy-cat.  Yellow-bellied.  A lily-livered varmint.  That’s what I thought.  I saw it in his eyes.  I saw it in his eyes whenever a lefty came in with that slider.  Just embarrassing.  I didn’t see it last night though.  Last night, the Pirates brought in left-hander Phil Dumatrait to face Rhino with the game tied in the 10th inning.  Last night, Ryan Howard showed no fear.  Last night, Ryan Howard went yard for the winner winner chicken dinner.  Baseball’s extra special moment.  Before that at-bat, he had not driven in a run in 13 plate appearances this season in which Philadelphia’s opponent took out a right-hander and brought in a lefty to face him.  His last RBI in that circumstance was last Sept. 16 when he hit a home run off the Braves’ Mike Gonzalez.  Maybe he just ain’t scared no more.

Public Spectacle

Peace out homies.  Six two and Even!

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Phillies Phantasy Camp

By: josh q. public on: Monday, August 17, 2009 @12:49 pm

One lucky fan gets a chance to hang out with Ryan Howard & Jimmy Rollins at baseball fantasy camp:

Peace out homies. Six Two and even!

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Here Comes Ryan Howard!

By: josh q. public on: Friday, July 17, 2009 @11:04 am

Here Comes Ryan Howard!

In any minute I’ll be rolling through so get ready, so get ready.  And any minute I’ll be coming through so get ready, so get ready.  So, twiddley-dee, twiddley-dum, look out baby, ’cause here I come  -Temptations

Public Service Announcement:  Ok, here we go!  You just can’t keep a good man down.  Don’t look now folks, but here comes Ryan Howard.  Here comes Ryan Howard with a vengeance.  Here he comes on the run with a burger and a bun and dish of applesauce on the siiiiiiide.  Yes Phillie Phanatics and baseball fans alike, here comes Ryan Howard.  You know he just became the quickest man to reach 200 bombs.  Quicker than Ralph Kiner.  Quicker than Juan Gonzalez.  Sometimes I rhyme slow sometimes I rhyme quick.  I’m sweeter and thicker than a chico stick.  In the second half of the season, Ryan Howard is sweeter and thicker than a chico stick.    Read More »

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We Laugh At Your Puny 5 HRs

By: josh q. public on: Tuesday, April 28, 2009 @2:00 pm

We Laugh At Your Puny 5 HRs

Righetti stretches…. 1-2 pitch… swing and a well-hit ball to deep right…. this ball is a grand slam.  A grand slam home run Mickey Morandini and the Phillies have broken this game wide open.  -Harry Kalas

Public Service Announcement:  Ok, here we go!  The mighty mighty Washington Nationals smashed five bombs last against the reigning champeen Philadelphia Phillies.  Bang, zoom go the fireworks!  Not so fast there, Charlie.  Not so fast there Charlie Slowes.  Like my main man Sheriff Buford T. Justice always says, ““Bank robbery?!  Bank robbery is baby shit compared to what this dude’s doin!”   Read More »

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Ryan Howard: Skinny Strike Out King

By: josh q. public on: Saturday, February 14, 2009 @12:45 pm

 Ryan Howard:  Skinny Strike Out King

For its one…two…three strikes you’re out at the old ball game!

Public Service Announcement: Ok, here we go!  Like Jay-Z always says, “The streets is talking.”  The streets is saying Ryan Howard has come to camp svelte.  I don’t care if he went on the Bobby Sands diet, he better be more concerned with striking out so darned much. 

Last season,  Ryan Howard  tied the single season strike-out record.  A damn record he damn set his own damn self.  Wanna know why?  Huh?  Do ya?  Sure you do.  He strikes out ’cause he’s scairt.  Yella.  A lily livered varmint.  That’s what he is.  You can see it in his eyes.  You can see it in his eyes when a lefty comes in with that slider.  Just embarrassing.         Read More »

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Uh Oh, Here Comes Ryan Howard

By: josh q. public on: Sunday, October 26, 2008 @5:07 pm

Uh Oh, Here Comes Ryan Howard

Omar coming.  -The Wire

Public Service Announcement:  Ok, here we go!  You just can’t keep a good man down.  Don’t look now folks, but here comes Ryan Howard.  Here comes Ryan Howard with a vengeance.  You know he led the majors with forty-eight home bombs this season.  You know he had been homerless in forty-two at-bats in the postseason.  Well, he ain’t homerless no more!    Read More »

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Ryan Howard: Going Wild

By: josh q. public on: Friday, September 12, 2008 @3:37 pm

Ryan Howard: Going Wild

The fans of hundreds of grands know I slam.  They love the jams of the big man.  -Chubb Rock

Public Service Announcement:  Ok here we go!  The Philadelphia Phillies.  The Fightin’ Phils.  The Fight, Fight, Fight-in Phils!  It’s a tough, tough, team to beat.  They’re out to win, win ev-’ry day.  Every victory is sweet.  Last night’s victory was sweet.  Sweet as Ghandi.  A veritable sugar dandy. Last night, the Phillies entered a crucial four-game series with the Brewers needing a little something something.  Ryan Howard gave it to them.  With a cherry on top.  Ryan Howard crushed a two-run blast in the first to give the Phils all they needed.  Crushed his Major League-leading 43rd homer to give the Phils all they needed.  He put the Phils within three games of the Metropolitans in the race for the National League East.  He put the Phils within three games of Milwaukee in the race for the Wild Card.  He has brought the ill back in Illidelphia.  What’s the time?

Like Sir Cedric Cornbread the Perfessor Maxwell said before the decisive game-seven victory during the 1984 NBA Finals, “Climb on my back, boys,” that’s what Howard has been done doing.  Just a few weeks ago, Howard was in the throes of a slump.  A horrible slump.  A harrowing slump.  A heinous slump.  Just a few weeks ago, Howard was in the throes of a horrible, harrowing, heinous slump that saw him go 5-for-50 (.100).  A slump where he had a meager one double to go along with a paltry one ding over a fourteen-game stretch.  Stretch ArmstrongStretch Cunningham.  A stretch that had the City of Brotherly Love anything but.  I think it’s safe to say, that stretch is over.

Ryan Howard is raking again.  Shaking and baking again.  Taking the caking again.  He now has twenty-six hits in his last seventy-nine at-bats in the twenty games since that awful run.  Good for a .329 average.  And get this.  You can get with this, or you can get with that.  I think you’ll get with this, for this is where it’s at.  Twenty of those twenty-six hits have been extra-base hits.  Ten doubles.  Get the papers, get the papers.  Ten bombs.  Bombs away, but we’re Ok.  Bombs away in old Bombay.  Bombing the Phillies right back in the hunt.  Yes folks, Ryan Howard is hitting again.  Now if the pitchers start pitching again, the Phillies will be scary again.  The Flyin’ Hawaiian:  “What we did last year can happen this year…It’s time for this team to do it again.  We’re going to take one game at a time and be aggressive.”

Public Acknowledgements:  Delaware County String Band, Bad Manners, Beastie Boys, All In The Family, Black Sheep, Goodfellas and the Police

Public Spectacle:

Peace out homies.  Six two and Even!

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Back To Baseball

By: josh q. public on: Monday, June 30, 2008 @6:00 am

Back To Baseball

A curve ball’s what my pitch is.  So here we here we come like dum ditty dum.  I keep all five boroughs in stitches.  -Beastie Boys

Public Service Announcement:  Ok, here we go!  Good ole Rogers Hornsby always says, “People ask me what I do in winter when there’s no baseball.  I’ll tell you what I do.  I stare out the window and wait for spring.”  Clearly, good ole Rogers Hornsby wasn’t a  basketball fan.  Clearly, the Rajah was not a Celtics fan.   Read More »

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