By: josh q. public on: Thursday, August 5, 2010 @11:00 am
I’ve seen the needle and the damage done. A little part of it in everyone. But every junkie’s like a settin’ sun. Ooh, ooh, the damage done. -Neil Young
Public Service Announcement: Finally. Finally Alexander Emmanuel Rodriguez hit his 600th career homerun. Like my main Derrick Coleman always says, “Woopty damn do!” Finally, it’s over. It’s over. It’s all over! Johnny Havlicek is being mobbed by the fans. It’s all over! Johnny Havlicek stole the ball! That’s right sports fans, Alex Rodriguez stole another milestone. Like Mark McGwire, Sammy Sosa and Barry Bonds before him, A-Rod stole history. There was a time when no numbers were more historic, more poetic, or more vibrant than baseball’s numbers. Baseball used to be a sport where statistical comparisons of players from different eras linked one generation of fans to the next. Our superstar’s pursuit of records used to mean something. Used to mean something special. You’re so fuckin’ special. I wish I was special. But I’m a creep. I’m a weirdo What the hell am I doin’ here? Read More »
A horse is a horse, of course, of course, and no one can talk to a horse of course. That is, of course, unless the horse is the famous Mr. Ed -Mr. Ed
Public Service Announcement: Ok, here we go! Oh, if I only knew how to photoshop. According to the coast to coasta New York Posta, Alex Rodriguez “is reportedly such an egomaniac that he placed paintings of himself depicted as a centaur — a mythical creature who is half-man, half-horse — over his bed, an ex-girlfriend said.” So many jokes. So little time. The girlfriend goes on to say, “He had not one but two painted portraits of himself as a centaur.” And you thought Oscar De La Hoya in fishnets was wierd. I guess this would be a good time to throw out all those Hydra paintings I have of myself.
By: josh q. public on: Wednesday, October 21, 2009 @11:16 am
How ya like me now? The river will not allow you to get with, Mr. Smith, dont riff. Listen to my gear shift. -LL Cool J
Public Service Announcement: Ok, here we go! I’ve given grief to dear old Alex Rodriguez as much as the next guy. Probably more than the next guy. Not no more. Not with what this guy is done doing. Read More »
By: josh q. public on: Saturday, October 17, 2009 @8:15 pm
Oh, can’t stop this train from rolling. Oh, yo, you can’t take it down. No, never stop this locomotion on and on and on. No, no, you can’t bring me down. -Metallica
Public Service Announcement: Ok, here we go! You know I hate this. You know it hurts my metabolic rate, this. From here to the Empire State, this. But I’m not so sure anybody’s beating these Yankees. Not these Angels. Not nobody. Like my main man Earl Weaver always says, “The key to winning baseball games is pitching, fundamentals, and Alex Rodriguez.” Oh? It’s pitching, fundamentals, and three run homers? Same thing. Read More »
By: josh q. public on: Thursday, August 6, 2009 @1:28 pm
And you may tell yourself, this is not my beautiful house! And you may tell yourself, this is not my beautiful wife! Same as it ever was…same as it ever was…same as it ever was… -Talking Heads
Public Service Announcement: Ok, here we go! All I keep hearing is how so much has changed for the Yankees since the last time these two teams last met. All I keep hearing is, ”Gentlemen, we have rebuilt them. Better than they were before. Better … stronger … faster.” Not A-Broad. Last night, Alex Rodriguez was 0-for-4 in the Yankees’ win at Toronto. Last night, Alex Rodriguez extended his string of consecutive at-bats without a home run to 62. Just so you know, that matches the longest single-season drought of his major-league career. Just so you know, A-Rod went 62 at-bats without a homer for the Mariners back in ’96. Just so you know, A-Broad still sucks. Ha ha ha! Roll Sox, roll!
By: josh q. public on: Thursday, June 4, 2009 @2:51 pm
Is she really going out with him? Is she really gonna take him home tonight? Is she really going out with him? ‘Cause if my eyes don’t deceive me, there’s something going wrong around here. -Joe Jackson
Public Service Announcement: Ok, here we go! Like my main man Sid Hudgeons always says, “Off the record, on the QT and very hush hush.” According to my crackerjack spies, (The NY Post’s Page Six) Kate Hudson has a little somethin’ somethin’ for A-Broad. Madonna, ok. He-women strippers, fine. But America’s sweetheart? I don’t like this. I don’t llike it one bit.
Though she just met Alex Rodriguez, Kate Hudson is already acting like a devoted girlfriend. While A-Rod was in Cleveland playing the Indians Monday night, the blond beauty popped into Bar 108 on West Houston Street to catch the game. “Kate was watching A-Rod bat,” said our spy. “She only stayed for one inning but was cheering the whole time.” Tuesday night she watched from the stands at Yankee Stadium.