I’m a substitute for another guy.  I look pretty tall but my heels are high.  The simple things you see are all complicated.  I look pretty young, but I’m just back-dated, yeah.  -The Who

Back in 2008, Greg Dobbs was a member of the World F’n Champion Phiadelphia Phillies.  Back in 2008, Greg Dobbs proved his pinch-hitting prowess by completing back-to-back seasons leading the majors in pinch-hits.  Not just any pitch-hits mind you.  Big pinch-hits.  Clutch pinch-hits.  Big, clutch pinch-hits that were a vital part to the Phillies late-inning offense.  But next thing you know, old Jed’s a millionaire Dobbs went from setting a Phillies franchise pinch-hit record to going flat at the plate.  Next thing you know, old Jed’s a millionaire Dobbs went from being a fickle Phillie fan favorite to a forgotten figure.  Next thing you know, old Jed’s a millionaire Dobbs was sent down to the Lehigh Valley Iron Pigs.  From champ to pig.  Just like that.  When I move, you move.  Just like that.  Hey DJ, play that back.     Read More »

What does it take to be number one?  Two is not a winner and three nobody remembers.  What does it take to be number one?  Hey hey hey hey..  -Nelly

Opening day is just two weeks away.  Ahhhh, baseball.  The one constant through all the years, Ray, has been baseball.  America has rolled by like an army of steamrollers.  It has been erased like a blackboard, rebuilt and erased again.  But baseball has marked the time.  I know it’s a little early.  I know what Bill Veeck said.  I know he said, “This is a game to be savored, not gulped.  There’s time to discuss everything between pitches or between innings.”  I don’t care.  I want it all.  I want it now.  I want to know what the Big Fundamental wants to know.  “Good, better, best.  Never let it rest.  Until your good is better and your better is best.”  Who’s good?  Who’s the best?  Today we will discuss who’s the best.  We’ll discuss who’s the worst.  And we’ll discuss everything in between.  So, without further ado, let’s hand out the hardware:          Read More »

Now go get my throne ‘cause I don’t wanna stop.  I just go in my zone and I’ma make it hot ‘til it’s time to go.  When it’s time to go.  Where you tryna go?  You better act like you can see me now.  -Kanye West

Public Service Announcement:  Looky looky here.  Look who it is.  Well if at ain’t Ricky Nolasco.  There was a time Ricky Nolasco was a mere middle reliever.  Next thing you know, he finds his way to the top of the rotation as Florida’s top starting pitcher.  Next thing you know, old Jed’s a millionaire.  Ricky ain’t a millionaire yet.  Yet!  You shouldn’t kick me in the balls, Mrs. Kelly.  My sister kicked me in the balls once.  Once! 

Last night, Ricky Nolasco kicked the Washington Nationals in the balls.  He’s been doing a lot of that lately.  Just so you know, Nolasco is 8-2 in ten starts since June 23.  Just so you know, Nolasco leads the major leagues in wins since that date.  Just so you know, that’s one ahead of CC Sabathia (7-2) and Adam Wainwright (7-2).  How about that?

Peace out homies. Six two and Even!

If I ever catch up with you, I’m gonna love you for the rest of your life.  All I need is a miracle.  All I need is you.  -Mike & the Mechanics

Public Service Announcement:  Don’t look now but, here come the Red Sox!  This is the never say die Red Sox.  The never can say good-bye Red Sox.  This is the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie Red Sox.  That’s amore!  What’s not to amore?  Here is a team decimated by injuries.  A big hot messimated by injuries.  A team in real distressimated by injuries.  Here is a team who stood up.  A team that stood up against the scum, the dogs, the filth, the shit, the Yankees.  Here is a team who stood up.                    Read More »

Hey now, you’re an All Star, get your game on, go play.  Hey now, you’re a rock star, get the show on, get paid.  And all that glitters is gold.  Only shooting stars break the mold.  -Smash Mouth

Public Service Announcement:  Ok, here we go!  I know it’s early.  I know we’re not even at the All-Star break yet.  I know these things.  I’m smart!  Not like everybody says.  Like dumb.  I’m smart and I want respect!  Today ends the voting for the 81st MLB All Star Game.  I got your ballot.  I got your ballot right here.  I got your ballot right here for my All So-Far Team:             Read More »

Love is a burning thing, and it makes a fiery ring.  Bound by wild desire, I fell into a ring of fire.  -Johnny Cash

Public Service Announcement:  Ok, here we go!  Maybe it’s because we share the same first name.  Maybe it’s because my beloved Red Sox never really have to face him.  Maybe, baby, I’ll have you.  Maybe, baby, you’ll be true.  Maybe, baby, I’ll have you for me.  Or maybe, just maybe, it’s because he is the best doggonnest pitcher nobody’s talking about.  Last night, Josh Johnson struck out 10 batters in only five innings pitched for the Marlins.  Yikes!  Yes he gave up four runs to the Phillies, but those 10 strikeouts make him only the second pitcher in Marlins history to strike out 10-or-more batters in no more than five innings pitched.  Only the imitable John Burkett did before.  Josh Johnson is better than John Burkett.  Right now, he’s better than just about everybody. 

Peace out homies.  Six two and Even!

Listen, do you want to know a secret.  Do you promise not to tell, whoa oh, oh.  Closer.  Let me whisper in your ear.  Say the words you long to hear.  -Beatles

Public Service Announcement:  Ok, here we go!  Did you ever wonder?  Stevie Wonder.  Did you ever Stevie Wonder how Josh Johnson does it?  Well sports fans, you’re in luck.  I know how he does it.  I know, last night, Johnson allowed a whopping nine hits in six innings.  I also know he only allowed a paltry one run and earned the winner winner chicken dinner.  Now, we all know nine hits in six innings should produce more than one run, but that ain’t how Josh Johnson do.  The Cardinals were only 1-for-11 against Johnson with runners in scoring position.  Opposing batters are hitting a meager .200 (30-for-150) vs. Johnson with men in scoring position this season, 59 points below the overall National League average in those situations.  Get it?  Do ya?  He don’t give up the clutch hits.  He don’t give up no double-dutch hits.  No much too much hits.  That’s why Josh Johnson is so gosh darned good.

Peace out homies.  Six two and Even!

Honesty is so refreshing, I don’t get that much.  You just might be the blessing to make me pop my clutch.  -Chaka Khan

Public Service Announcement:  Ok, here we go!  And Bill James says there’s no such thing as clutch.  Omar Infante has never started for a team for a complete season.  During Infante’s rookie year, Tigers’ manager Alan Trammell sent Omar down to the minors for failing to hustle on a consistent basis.  No more white balls for batting practice.  No more ballparks like cathedrals.  No more hotels with room service or women with long legs and brains. He got called back up, but the Tigers kept acquiring guys like Carlos Guillén.  They kept acquiring guys Fernando Viña and Plácido Polanco.  Kept acquiring guys like that there.  Guys who pushed our boy to the bench.  Ultimately, Omar got traded; and traded again.  Through it all, he has been nothing but the consummate professional.     Read More »

There’s no name, no name for the place or pain we’ll cause you again and again if you do not co-operate with the Invasion Hit Parade.  -Elvis Costello

Public Service Announcement:  Ok, here we go!  Just a quick one.  Like a bleeping mule kick one.  The hits just keep on hitting.  Last night, the Florida Marlins had 11 hits in their 6-2 victory at Houston.  Hooray Marlins!  For the record, that extends their streak to 14 consecutive games with at least 10 hits.  For the record, that’s the longest streak of games with 10 or more hits since 1937.  For the record, the St. Louis Browns recorded a 15-game streak back then.  For the record, here come the Marlins!

Peace out homies.  Six two and Even!

He’s making a list and checking it twice, gonna find out who’s naughty and nice.  -Santa Claus Is Coming To Town

Public Service Announcement:  Ok, here we go!  Just a quick one.  A lickety-split one.  A run and stick one.  Make that a run and measuring stick one.  Last night, Javier Vazquez earned his 10th win of the season while striking out seven.  For those of you keeping score at home, that marks the 10th consecutive season in which Vazquez has had at least 10 wins and at least 150 strikeouts.  Sweet sassy molassy!  So sweet only nine other pitchers, including seven Hall-of-Famers, have done such a thing.  Here they are:

• Walter Johnson (11 straight years) HOF
• Jim Bunning (11) HOF
• Don Drysdale (10) HOF
• Gaylord Perry (10) HOF
• Don Sutton (13) HOF
• Tom Seaver (12) HOF
• Steve Carlton (18) HOF
• Roger Clemens (10)
• Mickey Lolich (11)

Peace out homies.  Six two and Even!