Remember this guy? Huh? Remember? Dmitri’s little brother? You remember Dmitri, don’t you? Dmitri’s the guy who went all Peter McNab and broke a guy’s glasses? Ya, him. His little brother. Ya, Delmon. He was on Deadspin. They wrote Delmon Young…Still A Dick. Ya, him. Well, he went off last night. Last night, in a game the Tigers needed to win, the Delmonster done went off and won it for ‘em. The Delmoster has been doing a lot of lately. Last night, Young went out and crushed a pair of bombs deep into the big dark night for the winners-winners chicken dinners. Hit a pair of bombs after hitting three more before against the Yankees. There hasn’t been this much excitement in Detroit since Jerry Coleman said: “Johnny Grubb slides into second with a standup double.” Delmon has been exciting since he got here. After the trade, after the trade and down the stretch, after that he smashed eight taters and knocked in 32 runs down the stretch for Detroit. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Delmon Young Bitch!
Miguel Cabrera made his major league debut on June 20, 2003 at 20 years old. You know what else Miguel Cabrera did on June 20, 2003 , at 20 years old? Huh? Do ya? On June 20, 2003 , at 20 years old, he hit a walk-off bomb in his first major league game. That’s what Miguel Cabrera did on June 20, 2003 , at 20 years old. He hasn’t slowed down since. Last night, eight years later, Miggy had two hits in the Tigers’ loss to the White Sox. Big deal you say? Who cares you say? I say the second hit marked the 1500th hit of his major league career. I also say only one active player reached 1500 career hits at a younger age than Cabrera. That player? Alex Rodriguez. A-Rod recorded hit No. 1500 back in 2003. Just 63 days younger than Cabrera when he hit his.
Because it’s murder by numbers, one, two, three. It’s as easy to learn as your ABC’s. Murder by numbers, one, two, three. Easy to learn as your A-B-C. -The Police
What’s crack-a-lacking sports fans? I’ll tell you what’s crack-a-lacking. Baseball’s crack-a-lacking. Ahhhh baseball. Like my main man Terrence Mann always says, “America has rolled by like an army of steamrollers. It has been erased like a blackboard, rebuilt and erased again. But baseball has marked the time.” It certainly has. As kids we marked the time by keeping score at the ball park. Nowadays, that type of thing is done for us. It’s all ballbearings now. Statistician Seymour Siwoff of the Elias Sports Bureau once said, “Anybody with a pencil could be a statistician back then (19th Century).” Now? Not so much. Now, statistics are the lifeblood of the game. No other sport studies, dissects and analyzes their numbers as vigilantly as baseball. So who am I to go against the grain? Nobody! That’s who. So let’s take a peak at some interesting 1st half numbers, shall we? Sure we shall!
By the time I was ten, playing baseball got to be like eating vegetables or taking out the garbage. So when I was 14, I started to refuse. Could you believe that? An American boy refusing to play catch with his father? -Field of Dreams
Like my main man, the late great Harmon Killebrew always says, “My father used to play with my brother and me in the yard. Mother would come out and say, You’re tearing up the grass. We’re not raising grass, Dad would reply. We’re raising boys.” Last night, Will Venable hit his first career leadoff home run. Hooray Will Venable! His father, Max, hit two leadoff home runs in his major-league career (1990 and 1991). Hooray Max Venable! Just so you know, the only other father/son combination featuring an active player in which each player hit a leadoff homer is the Brantleys. Mickey hit one for the Mariners in 1987; Michael had one last season. Now, with this being so close to Father’s Day and all, I thought I’d give a shout-out to some of the Baseball father’s in the house:
And he was talkin’ ‘fore I knew it, and as he grew, he’d say “I’m gonna be like you dad. You know I’m gonna be like you.” -Harry Chapin
Just a short little fun one. A here we come on the run with a burger and a bun one. And a dish of apple sauce on the siiiide! Prince Fielder. Cecil Fielder. The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. How do you like these apples: Last night, Prince hit his 200th career home run. Hooray Prince Fielder! Big deal you say? Whos cares you say? I say, he and his dad, Cecil (319 homers), are just the fourth father-son tandem to each hit at least 200 homers in the major leagues. Wanna know who the other ones are? Huh? Do ya? Sure you do. The others are Bobby and Barry Bonds, Felipe and Moises Alou, and Gus and Buddy Bell. Pretty cool huh? How much is ball like that worth you think? After the game, Prince Fielder was preparing to negotiate with a well-known Miller Park ball hawk who caught his 200th career home run ball in right-center in the fifth inning. Fielder indicated there would be a limit to what he’d be willing to give up for the milestone ball, though. “If he wants the ball that bad, he can keep it – with nothing on it.” I think that’s the first time prince ever used the phrase with nothing on it. Sorry. Couldn’t resist.
Peace out homies. Six two and even!
I know we’ve come so far, but we’ve got so far to go. I know the road seems long, but it won’t be long ’till it’s time to go. So, most days we’ll take it fast, and some nights lets we’ll take it slow. I know we’ve come so far, but baby, baby, we’ve got so far to go. -Hairspray
I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking it’s too early for this. Like Sean Penn and Chaz Palmenteri, too Hurly Burly for this. Don’t call me Shirley for this. That’s what you’re thinking. It’s not what I’m thinking. I’m thinking what Yogi Berra is thinking. I’m thinking, “It gets late awfully early around here.” Heck, we’re already 36 games into the season. That’s 2/9 of all games. That’s 22%. 22% mental. The other half physical. Let’s get physical, physical. I wanna get physical. Let’s get physical and see what’s what. Like Stan the Man Musial always says: “I never realized that batting a little ball around could cause so much commotion.” These cats are causing a commotion. A loco-motion. My little baby sister can do it with ease. It’s easier than learning your a b c’s. So come on, come on, do the loco-motion with me. Come on with me and let’s take a peak at the All So Far Team, shall we? Sure we shall!
What does it take to be number one? Two is not a winner and three nobody remembers. What does it take to be number one? Hey hey hey hey.. -Nelly
Opening day is just two weeks away. Ahhhh, baseball. The one constant through all the years, Ray, has been baseball. America has rolled by like an army of steamrollers. It has been erased like a blackboard, rebuilt and erased again. But baseball has marked the time. I know it’s a little early. I know what Bill Veeck said. I know he said, “This is a game to be savored, not gulped. There’s time to discuss everything between pitches or between innings.” I don’t care. I want it all. I want it now. I want to know what the Big Fundamental wants to know. “Good, better, best. Never let it rest. Until your good is better and your better is best.” Who’s good? Who’s the best? Today we will discuss who’s the best. We’ll discuss who’s the worst. And we’ll discuss everything in between. So, without further ado, let’s hand out the hardware:
Hey now, you’re an All Star, get your game on, go play. Hey now, you’re a rock star, get the show on, get paid. And all that glitters is gold. Only shooting stars break the mold. -Smash Mouth
Public Service Announcement: Ok, here we go! I know it’s early. I know we’re not even at the All-Star break yet. I know these things. I’m smart! Not like everybody says. Like dumb. I’m smart and I want respect! Today ends the voting for the 81st MLB All Star Game. I got your ballot. I got your ballot right here. I got your ballot right here for my All So-Far Team:
It takes two to make a thing go right. It takes two to make it outta sight. Hit it! -Rob Base & DJ EZ Rock
Public Service Announcement: Ok, here we go! Just a quick little fun one. A here we come on the run with a burger and a bun one. And a dish of apple sauce on the siiiiiide! Rookie rookie, who gets the cookie? I’m gonna ask you a simple question and I want you to listen to me: Who’s the big winner here tonight at the casino? Huh? Well, actually, there’s two big winners. Two guys win.
(ESPN 7PM ET) First everybody was jibbering about the soccer game. Then, everybody was jabbering about the tennis match. Jibbering and jabbering. Blubbering and blabbering. What about baseball? What about finding reserved seats somewhere along one of the baselines, where we sat when we were children and cheered our heroes. What about watching the game as if we dipped ourselves in magic waters? What about that? Huh? That’s what I’ll be doing tonight. And don’t look now, here come the Mets! Carlos Beltran starts a rehabilitation assignment at Class-A St. Lucie on Thursday, and the five-time All-Star could return from offseason knee surgery around the All-Star break. Get your popcorn ready!
Peace out homies! Six Two and Even!