Remember this guy? Huh? Remember? Dmitri’s little brother? You remember Dmitri, don’t you? Dmitri’s the guy who went all Peter McNab and broke a guy’s glasses? Ya, him. His little brother. Ya, Delmon. He was on Deadspin. They wrote Delmon Young…Still A Dick. Ya, him. Well, he went off last night. Last night, in a game the Tigers needed to win, the Delmonster done went off and won it for ‘em. The Delmoster has been doing a lot of lately. Last night, Young went out and crushed a pair of bombs deep into the big dark night for the winners-winners chicken dinners. Hit a pair of bombs after hitting three more before against the Yankees. There hasn’t been this much excitement in Detroit since Jerry Coleman said: “Johnny Grubb slides into second with a standup double.” Delmon has been exciting since he got here. After the trade, after the trade and down the stretch, after that he smashed eight taters and knocked in 32 runs down the stretch for Detroit. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Delmon Young Bitch!
There’s a starman waiting in the sky. He’d like to come and meet us, but he thinks he’d blow our minds. -David Bowie
After seeing the above preview for the Bill Lee documentary SPACEMAN: A Baseball Odyssey, my mind began to wander. It began to wander to a simpler place in time. It began to wander to when you could get still get baseball cards for a dime. It began to wanter to when Bill Lee was in his junk ball prime. Aaah Bill Lee, prophet in his own mind. Bill “the Spaceman” Lee, my favorite baseball player of all time.
We live we die. We laugh and we cry. We know not why. Bent on a life between the lines. End on a sign of the times. -Bryan Ferry
For some time now you’ve been hearing it. For some time now, us Sox fans have been jeering it. Paul Revering it. One if by land, and two if by sea. And I, on the opposite shore will be, ready to ride and spread the alarm. I’m ready to spread the alarm. I’m ready to tell you Mariano Rivera is on his last legs. I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking, “Just another douchebag Boston fan trying to stick it to the Yankees. Maybe you’re right. Afterall, it was William Shakespeare who said, “In time, we hate what we often fear.” Thing is, as time wears on, Mariano is less fearful. He’s 41 years old for gosh sakes. 41! Everybody gets old, even the great ones. When Shaquille O’Neal was asked his opinion about Michael Jordan’s comeback in Washington, Shaq Daddy simply replied, “39 ain’t 29, bro”. No it ain’t.
Maybe in time I’ll see things in a different way, but all I can think about is right now and right now you let me down. Right now you let me down. You let me down. -Black Flag
There was a time Adam Dunn was one of the premier left-handed power hitters in all of baseball who showed great patience at the plate. I know, I know, this cat has been known to stike out a lot, but he has nonetheless compiled a career on-base percentage above .380. In fact, coming in to this season, Dunn has been one of the game’s most prolific sluggers going for seven consecutive seasons with at least 38 bombs and a hefty .850 OPS. That’s why Billy Williams and the White Sox signed him for all that money. The White Sox, reeling from their 2010 finish when they failed to win the AL Central, desperately wanted a left-handed bat. Desperately seeking Susan. They tried several times during the summer to trade for Dunn, but couldn’t reach an agreement with the Nationals. They even entertained the idea of bringing back DH Jim Thome, who helped the Minnesota Twins to the division title last season. But no, they ultimately signed Dunn. Like my main John Belushi always says, “I came out here, I didn’t have to. I could have stayed in my dressing room, by myself, and let you die out here alone. But nooooo! I gotta come out here and help you, and what do you do? You turn on me like a shark!”
Carl Yastrzemski once said, “I remember I was a scared rookie, hitting .220 after the first three months of my baseball season, and doubting my ability.” Here are some guys who don’t have to doubt nothin’. But before we get to them, I want to get to something else. I want to get to the greatest rookie of them all. I want to get to Freddy Lynn. Rookie, rookie. Who gets the cookie. Who’s got the woh oh oh oh, woh oh oh oh, right stuff? Freddy Lynn had the right stuff. That marshmallow fluff. Sho’ nuff. The Rookie of the Year Award should now and forever more be called the Fred Lynn Award. The best rookie season evah. Evah! Sherman, set the way back machine to 1975. Fenway Pahk. Rookie Fred Lynn in center. Rookie Big Jim Ed Rice in left. The Gold Dust Twins. But Jim Ed got hurt, and Freddy turned out to be goldener. Stay gold, Freddy. Stay gold.
I’m winning. I’m winning. I’m winning. And I don’t intend on losing again. -Santana
Jake Westbrook throws heavy and boring 90-mph sinker. A stinker of a sinker. Jake Westbrook throws a stinker of a sinker that when it’s going right, is very tough to beat. I know. I’ve seen it. I’ve seen up close and personal. I saw it up close and personal back in 2007. I saw it up close and personal back in 2007 during Game 3 of the American League Championship Series. Back in 2007 during Game 3 of the American League Championship Series, Westbrook’s sinker was going right. He did allow a two-run homer to Jason Varitek in the seventh, but otherwise, he throttled my beloved Red Sox. Throttled ‘em real good like. Of the 20 outs that Westbrook recorded that day, only three came on balls hit to the outfield. He ended three innings with double-play grounders, one with the bases loaded in the second. That’s what Jake Westbrook looks like when his sinker is going right. That’s what he’s been looking like for much of this season.
Mark the month and all its anniversaries. Put away the draft of all your eulogies. Clear the way for all your private memories. -Suzanne Vega
In case you missed it, yesterday marked the 10-year anniversary of Adam Dunn’s first major-league game. On that day of Adam’s first game, he recorded his first Major League hit. Hooray Adam Dunn! Wait! Not so fast! On that day too, he also recorded his first Major League strikeout. Boooooo Adam Dunn! And so it has gone for most of his career. Yesterday, Dunn reached his 10th anniversary with 363 home runs, the fifth-most in major-league history at the 10-year anniversary of a player’s big-league debut. The four players ahead of him: Albert Pujols (408), Eddie Mathews (371), Ralph Kiner (369) and Alex Rodriguez (366). Yesterday Dunn also reached his 10th anniversary with 1,756 career strikeouts. That, by far, is the highest total in Major-League history 10 years to the day since a player’s first career game. Nobody else is within 300 strikeouts of that record. Nobody. Not Reggie Jackson. Not Sammy Sosa. Not Jim Thome. Not nobody. In fact, Bobby Bonds own second place on that list; he whiffed 1,422 times in his first decade in the majors (1968-1978). So hey, happy anniversary Adam Dunn!
Peace out homies. Six two and even!
Oh, put me in, coach. I’m ready to play, today. Put me in, coach. I’m ready to play, today. Look at me, I can be centerfield. -John Fogerty
What’s crack-a-lacking sports fans? I’ll tell you what’s crack-a-lacking. Jacoby Ellsbury is crack-a-lacking. That’s right, Jacoby Ellsbury. Attention please, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, welcome to Fenway Park. Now leading off, Ellsbury, center field, Ellsbury. Ahhh, center field. Once, the most glamorous position in all of baseball. Once the most the strawberry jamerous positon in all of baseball. Dare I say it? Once the grand slamerous position in all of baseball. Once. You shouldn’t grab me, Johnny. My mother grabbed me once…Once! It used to mean something to be the best center fielder in baseball. Like it used to mean something to be the Heavyweight Champion of the World. Like it used to mean something to be the Fastest Man Alive. I still think it means something, dammit. I’m Gumby dammit.
Higher they can soar! Fired up for more! Even out the score! Go, go Power Rangers! -Power Rangers Lyrics
The Texas Rangers have not lost since July 3. The Texas Rangers hold a five game lead in the AL West. How did this happen? At the outset of the season, folks wondered how the Texas Rangers would fare without Cliff Lee. At the outset of the season, folks thought the Rangers would need some help in their starting rotation if they wanted to get back to the Promised Land. At the outset of the season, even Nolan Ryan said his confidence “isn’t as high today…because of the concerns (we) have for certain segments of the club.” That may be what Nolan Ryan said, but you know what George Bernard Shaw says. George Bernard Shaw says, “Everything happens to everybody sooner or later if there is time enough.” It appears there is time enough for the Texas Rangers. It appears things are happening to them and their pitching staff. Like my main man Navin R. Johnson always says, “‘I’m somebody now! Millions of people look at this book everyday! This is the kind of spontaneous publicity – your name in print – that makes people. I’m in print! Things are going to start happening to me now!”
Don’t you know I’m still standing better than I ever did, looking like a true survivor, feeling like a little kid. I’m still standing after all this time. Picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind. -Elton John
Guess whos back, back again. Izzy’s back, tell a friend. That’s right sports fans, Jason Isringhausen is back. Back with a vengeance. Like my main Jack Kennedy always says, “We are tied to the ocean. And when we go back to the sea, whether it is to sail or to watch – we are going back from whence we came.” Jason Isringhausen is back from whence he came. Back on the hill. Back on the hill when the game is on the line. Last night Jason Isringhausen was back on the hill when the game was on the line and recorded the 294th save of his major-league career. Hooray Jason Isringhausen! For those of you keeping score at home, that was Izzy’s first save since August 1, 2008. For those of you keeping score at home, that’s a span of two years and 352 days. For those of you keeping score at home, that’s the longest span between saves for a player who already had at least 250 saves to his credit. The previous most: two years, 273 days, by Troy Percival (2005-08). Pretty neat huh?