Like Beck always says, Eathquake Weather:

Peace out homies. Six two and Even!

Say it aint so a-woah-a-woah.  Your drug is a heartbreaker.  -Weezer

Public Service Announcement:  Ok, here we go!  Everybody knows the rumor by now.  Manny Ramirez traded to Florida for Jason Bay and John Grabow in a three way deal that includes the Pittsburgh Pirates.  Some folks like this deal.  Some folks say, “You’ll see a clubhouse with a veil lifted off of it.”  Some folks say, “Trade him for a pair of prospects and a coupon good for a free stack of waffles at Bickfords for all I care.”  I am not one of those folks. 

The Red Sox have won two rings in the last four years.  Two rings thanks in large part to Mr. Manny Ramirez.  Maybe people have gotten complacent.  Maybe people are resting on their laurels.  Maybe people have forgotten.  Forgotten how miserable those 1918 chants actually were.  How they made us feel.  Made us feel a lot more miserable than Manny’s current rumblings, I can tell you that. 

Maybe they forgot.  Forgot Manny won  MVP of the World Series.  The first World Series Championship in eighty-six years.  Maybe they forgot last year his walk-off three-run bomb run in Game Two of the ALDS against the California Angels.  Maybe they forgot he leads everybody all-time in postseason home runs.  Manny has incredible numbers.  Ridiculous numbers.  Hall of Fame numbers.  As the kids like to say these days, he sure can rake.  All this guy does is rake.  Sox winning, Manny rakes.  Sox losing, Manny rakes.  Big games, Manny rakes.  Small games, Manny rakes.  Business bad?  Fuck you, pay me.  Oh, you had a fire?  Fuck you, pay me.  Place got hit by lightning, huh?  Fuck you, pay me.  That’s Manny.  I haven’t forgotten.  An elephant never forgets.  I meant what I said, and I said what I meant.  An elephant’s faithful one hundred percent. 

Some look at Manny’s antics and flippantly remark, “Manny thinks he’s bigger that the game.”  Know this sports fans, Manny is the hardest working man in show business.  He’s the first one in the weight room.  He’s the first one at the ballpark.  He’s endlessly watching film.  He works tirelessly at his craft.  Manny talking about the off-season:  “I know this might sound funny, but I play baseball.  Me and Varitek play in the training field.  Can’t get our minds off of it.”  So pack up your criticisms.  Pack up your lollygag the ball around the outfield.  Pack up your lollygag your way down to first.  Just pack up your troubles in your old kit bag and smile, smile, smile.  Smile at the best right handed hitter you ever did see.  The most important Red Sox of all time.  The red sox have a window of oppurtunity right now to grab a copupla more rings.  No Manny.  No rings.  No shirt.  No Shoes.  No dice!

Public Acknowledgements:  Goodfellas, Dr. Seuss, Bull Durham, George Asaf and Fast Times At Ridgemont high

Peace out homies.  Six two and Even!

So the troops roll out and the tolls are paid, said and done.  And here it comes.  -MC Serch

Public Service Announcement:  Ok, here we go!  So the Angels got Teixeira.  Goodness gracious, great balls of fire!  I guess they really want this thing.  They really really want this thing.  This isn’t about a team just making it into the postseason.  No siree Bobby.  No siree Bobby Grich.  This is about all of it.  The whole kit and kaboodle.  They already have the pitching.  Just ask my Red Sox.  They just needed a little somethin’ somethin’ in the middle of that line-up.  They got it.  This is all you need to know.  Mark Teixeira debuted with the Braves on August 1, 2007.   Prior to being traded, he had 134 RBIs for Atlanta.  Big deal you say.  Who cares you say.  I say, only one player in the Show had more RBIs over that period than Teixeira.  Just one.  Just Ryan Howard, who had 144 RBIs over that span.  Teixeira produced those 134 RBIs in only 157 games played for the Braves.  Yowza!  Since 1920, the first year that RBIs were officially recorded, only one major-league player had that many RBIs in so few career games for one team.  Only Juan-Gon back in 2001.  So now, especially considering Teixeira’s usual second-half surge, the California Angels are one mighty scary baseball team.  One mighty mighty scary scary baseball team. 

Peace out homies.  Six two and Even!

Ain’t that a shame? My tears fell like rain. Ain’t that a shame? You’re the one to blame.  -Fats Domino

Public Service Announcement:  OK, here we go!  Another year, another snub.  Women may like that!  Yes!  I understand women.  The snub may be good for them.  They may love the snub!  Not me.  You think that I’m fresh off the boat, and you can kick me!  But I’m too big for that now.  I’m sick a’ takin’ the scrap from you…And I’m sicka the high hat!  I know.  The Baseball Hall of Fame.  Cooperstown.  Hallowed grounds.  Preserving history, honoring excellence, connecting generations.  All that.  You wanna preserve history?  Huh?  Do ya?  You wanna honor excellence?  Really?  Then give Jim Ed Rice his due.  Do wa ditty, ditty dum ditty do. 

I do this every year, so I’ll make this brief.  Jim Rice belongs in the Hall.  Anything else is a travesty.   It’s a travesty of a mockery of a sham of a mockery of a travesty of two mockeries of a sham.  In Jim Ed’s day, as a successor to Ted Williams and Yaz roaming left field for the Boston Red Sox, he was the AL’s most feared slugger.  The most feared slugger.  Bar none!  A mainstay in the clean-up spot at the All Star game.  In 1978, he was the best hitter in baseball.  The best hitter in baseball.  Nobody was better.  Not Dave Parker.  Not Reggie Jackson.  Not George Foster.  Not nobody.  Enough is enough.  Here are some stats:

In 1977, he led the league with thirty-nine bombs.  He also had 206 hits.  The first of three consecutive years with at least thirty-five homers and 200 hits.  Three consecutive years with at least thirty-five homers and 200 hits.  Are you kidding me?  He was the first player ever to have accomplished that feat.  Ever!  

He also led the league in total bases for three straight years, becoming only the third A.L. player - after Ty Cobb and Ted Williams - to do so.  You got the Georgia Peach.  You got the Splendid Splinter.  You got Jim Ed.  That’s it.

Jim Ed won the MVP award in 1978.  In 1978, he accumulated an astounding 406 total bases.  406!  The only guy ever in the American League to do so since 1938.  The last guy to do it before Rice?  Joltin’ Joe DiMaggio.  No one in the AL has done it since Rice.  No one.  Not even the juicers.  Simply unbelievable.  EMF style.

Of the seventeen players with 300 homers and a career average as high as Rice’s .298, Rice is the only one not in Cooperstown.

He is one of only two American League players ever to lead his league in both triples and bombs in the same season.

He remains the only player ever to lead his league, and Major League Baseball in triples, bombs and RBIs in the same season.

From 1975 to 1986, Rice led the American League in total games played, at-bats, runs scored, hits, homers, RBIs, slugging percentage, total bases, extra-base hits, go-ahead RBIs, multi-hit games, and outfield assists. 

Jim Rice was so strong that his ordinary grounders would be into the outfield before the infielders could react to them.  So strong he would break bats on check swings.   Some kids piss their name in the snow.  Jim Ed Rice can piss his name into concrete.

Free Jim Rice!

Public Acknowledgements:  Seinfeld, Miller’s Crossing, Manfred Mann and Bananas

Public Spectacle:

Peace out homies.  Six two and Even!

It’s no Francesca Piccinini, but it sure is funny:

Peace out homies. Six two and Even!