The Great Tiger Woods

Josh Q. Public:  I’ve been running hot.  You got me ticking gonna blow my top.  If you start me up.  If you start me up I’ll never stop.  -Rolling Stones

Public Service Announcement:  Ok here we go.  First things first.  Like Tricky Dickie, let me make this perfectly clear.  I am not a golf guy.  I don’t even play one on TV.  However, I can recognize greatness when I see it.  Tiger Woods is great.  Maybe the greatest athlete we’ve ever seen.  Maybe the greatest athlete there’s ever been.  A lean mean golfing machine.  We’ve all been sitting around waiting for the next Michael Jordan.  Begging for the next Michael Jordan.  We’ve all been sitting around the Eastern Gate waiting and begging for the next Michael Jordan to come along riding in on his white horse to perform many great signs and wonders.  All the while, he has been strolling down the fairway.  Strolling down the fairway in Nike red.  Strolling down the fairway in Nike red, greater than the Great One, Wayne Gretzky, blessed be he.  Greater than Michael Jordan, the Chosen One.  Greater than Muhammad Ali, the Greatest.  Greater than Babe Ruth himself.  Strolling down the fairway and obliterating everything in his wake.   I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who would attempt to poison and destroy my brothers.  And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee.  Laid down some furious vengeance Sunday.  Laid down some record breaking vengeance Sunday.  Laid down some record breaking vengeance at Dove Mountain.  Fourteen birdies in twenty-nine holes at Dove Mountain.   Fourteen birdies in twenty-nine holes for an 8-and-7 victory at Dove Mountain.  The largest margin of victory in the final in the 10-year history of this tournament.  Yowza!  Stewart Cink knows whose name is the Lord.  After Sunday’s win, Tiger Woods has won four straight PGA Tour events.  Four straight!  That doesn’t even count his victory at the Dubai Desert Classic.  That doesn’t even count his victory at the Target World Challenge.  Tiger woods is on the kind of run our grandkids will be talking about.  Like we talk about Arnold Palmer.  Like we talk about Ben Hogan.  Like we talk about Jack Nicklaus.  Like we talk about Sam Snead.  Only better.  For more than ten years now, Tiger has been the best at what he does.  For more than ten years now, Tiger has been the best in show.  Since he won the Masters back in 1997, Tiger has been the best golfer in the world.   Reign of Terror.  La Grande Terreur.  La Grande Terreur, Edwin Moses style.  And, as good as he’s been, as good as he’s been, he’s better now.  What you see is what you get and you ain’t seen nothing yet.  Never in the history of sports has the best so far distanced themselves from everybody else.  Tiger has four straight.  The late great Byron Nelson holds the record with eleven.  Get your popcorn ready.  The greatest athlete in the world has just gotten started.

Public Acknowledgements:  Rick Riley, Richard Milhous Nixon, Pulp Fiction, Beastie Boys and Terrell Owens

This episode of Josh Q. Public brought to you by The Salute Military Golf Association.  SMGA is a non-profit corporation whose mission is to provide rehabilitative golf experiences for combat-wounded veterans in an effort to improve the quality of life for  American heroes.  And they need your help.  The SMGA’s primary funding source is their annual charity golf classic. This year, the tournament will be held on May 12 at Army Navy Country Club in Fairfax, VA. By registering a foursome, sponsoring the tournament, or donating to their silent auction, you will help them support the recovery of combat-wounded soldiers.  A registration form, sponsorship list, and brochure can be found on their website. 

Peace out homies.  Six two and Even!