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I’ve never embedded video before. If this works, the revolution will be televised! Saddle your ponies, you bet!
Josh Q. Public: Speed of lightning, roar of thunder, fighting all who rob or plunder. -Underdog
Public Service Announcement: Ok, here we go! Paul Pierce. The Truth. The Truth is, he’s the most underrated player in the world, and nobody can tell me different. Nobody. The Truth is, the only reason the Boston Celtics were sitting pretty in first with five wins is Paul Pierce. The only reason. Do not kid yourselves. You can Bassy me. You can Big Show Powe me. You can Gerald Green, the Three Point Machine me. You can Kendrick Perkins me. You can Al Jefferson me. You can Delonte West me. Heck, you can even Wally me. The only reason the 
Boston Celtics were sitting pretty in first with five wins is Paul Pierce. Faster than a speeding bullet. More powerful than a locomotive. Able to leap tall buildings in a single bound. It’s the Truth. He wills the Celtics to victory. If Boston loses, don’t even think to glance over at Paul. I can assure you it wasn’t his fault. PPG 27.2 | RPG 9 | APG 3.8. That’s more points than Vee Dot Carter. More points than Disco Dirk. More than the Mamba. More than T-Mac. More than the Black President. That’s more boards than Lamar Odom. More boards than the Matrix. 
More than Žydrūna “the Wall” Ilgauskas. More than Ron Ron. More than Amare Stoudemire. That’s more dimes than Madison Square Gordon. More dimes than the Glove. More than Big Nate Robinson. More than Smush. The Truth goes to the line more than everybody except AI and Flash. Think this cat doesn’t play hard? Think again. He wills this team to win. Against the Bucks the other night, Paul scored 34 points. Scored 16 in the third quarter. Single-handedly erasing a 14-point halftime deficit. Single-handedly took the lead at the end of the third quarter. Carried the Celtics to victory. Period. Held the Silent Killer Michael Redd to 
24. No easy feat. But Pierce cannot do it alone. If Boston gets somebody to rebound the ball effectively. You can’t win without the ball. If Boston gets somebody to rebound the ball effectively and they get somebody to handle the ball with consistency. You can’t win if you can’t hold onto the ball. If Boston gets somebody to rebound the ball effectively and they get somebody to handle the ball with consistency, they will start winning some ball games. If they start winning ball games consistently, the accolades will come. It’s tough to win awards, when you’re not winning ball games. And that’s the double truth Ruth. Mister Señor Love Daddy style.
Public Knowledge:
1. I swear to god I did not watch Monday Night Football. My boy, the Mind, told me Slick Watts was all over it. I had no idea. I watched Heroes. Save the cheerleader, save the world, and all. When my buddy told me, I felt all broke like.
2. I watched about a quarter of the Nets/Bobcats game the other night. Macho Morrison just stands behind the arc. In one spot. Waits for the rock. Then creates from there. Either the tre or to the hizzy. Whichever you give him. Make you feel all broke like. That was the Charlotte offense. It worked.
3. My boy Jamie texted me yesterday. Said: “Fear the Turtle.” Jamie’s an ACC guy. Always has been. I was always a Big East guy. Now having no choice of my own, I’m an ACC guy. Anyway, I remember one night, bombed, in the Red Lion, down in DC. Jamie was spewing nonsense about MJ before MJ was even MJ. So, my point is, if he says “fear the Turtle”, maybe we should fear the Turtle.
4. A Tale of One City: Who’s a bigger cancer, Starbury or Zeke? Discuss amongst yourselves. And I mean it this time. Amongst yourselves.
5. Not for nothing, David Lee is the best Knick. And not for nothing else, the Half Bald Prince’s boy was right, Channing Frye is the next Charles Smith. 
6. Look for D-Mat to sign in the eleven million dollar range. I just can’t see this thing not happening. Just can’t see it. Mr. Magoo style.
7. Slick Watts. Uchhhhh. I swear to you. I saw the Big Ben Wallace story. My synapses immediately flickered to that old Slick Watts Sports Illustrated cover. I can see it on top of the radiator in our den growing up. I swear, I never saw MNF. Honest injun. Cigar Store Indian style. I feel all broke like still.
9. Maybe his wife was right. Michael Strahan threw a hissy fit when reporter called him out on comments he made on the radio regarding Plaxico. Strahan: “It’s a shame. You can’t give up. You can’t quit, because you’re not quitting on yourself, you’re quitting on everybody. I don’t quite understand what his lack of motivation is in those types of situations.” Hey Mike, stop calling out your teammates in the press, and then, the press won’t have to ask you questions about it. How bout that?
10. Are things that bad in Houston they have to do this? They have to try out Justin Juice Gatlin. Isn’t that just asking for trouble? I guess desperate times call for desperate measures. Think they wish they drafted Mighty Vince Young? This David Carr character just doesn’t seem to be getting it done. Not for nothing, Gatlin will not be the first disgraced sprinter to try out for the NFL. The shame of Canada, Ben Johnson had a work-out with the Cowboys. British sprinter Dwain Chambers had a tryout with the 49ers. Never made the team. Chambers ran for gold in Munich in the 100m. He was later stripped of said gold. Outed in the 2003 BALCO doping scandal. THG. As far as we know, Bullet Bob Hayes and Skeets weren’t juicing. Skeets got himself a ring.
11. Detroit’s Kronk Gym shuts down. CBGB’s style. End of an era. The gym of champions. Kronk’s produced the Golden Boy. Kronk’s produced the Real Deal. Kronk’s produced the Hit Man. Kronk’s produced Michael Moorer. Remember Foreman just hung around and hung around against Moorer. Then boom goes the dynamite! He’s the new Champion of the World. Fantastic! Kronk’s produced Milton “the Ice Man” 
McCrory. Kronk’s produced his brother, Steve “the Bluesman” McCrory. Kronk’s produced Kermit “El Asesino” Cintron. Kronk’s produced Duane Thomas. Kronk’s produced Gerald “the G-Man” McClellan. Kronk’s produced their first champion, Hilmer Kenty. You can’t mention Kronk’s and not mention Emmanuel Steward. One of the greatest of them all. Trainer extraordinaire. Some other moments in Kronk’s history:
A) William “Caveman” Lee, who had fought Marvelous Marvin Hagler for the middleweight championship, losing by a knockout in 67 seconds, robs a bank in Detroit, goes to prison for three years.
B) Leslie “Lemonade” Gardner, 26, in mistaken belief he is being tailed by police, swallows drugs he had in his car, overdoses, crashes and dies.
C) Emanuel Steward is inducted into Boxing Hall of Fame.
D) Duane Thomas, 39, former Super-Welterweight Champion and a Kronk original, is murdered on the sidewalk outside an east-side party store, shot in the base of the skull, the chest, forearm, hip, thigh and flank by a 9mm gun. Police describe it as a drug dispute; an autopsy finds drugs in Thomas’ system.
12. If you watched the Knicks game last night, raise your 
hand. Knicks win. Beat King James. Good for them. Now, did you see Big Nate Robinson’s failed dunk attempt? What an eeediot! Ren style. Makes a nice little steal. Easy lay-up right? Nope. Not good enough for Big Nate. Takes two steps, bounces the rock off the floor like he’s in the McDonald’s All American Slam Dunk Contest, and before he can even catch the ball in mid-air, he is whistled for traveling. What an eeediot! Hey Big Nate, I got some news for ya, two is two.
13. College football game of the week. Arkansas/Florida. Darren McFadden just grinds it out against the Gators en route to victory and the Heisman.
14. Speaking of the Heisman. Sugar Ray Rice just drops right out of the conversation. Even if he puts up sensational numbers against the Mountaineers, he won’t be able to recover after the Cincinnati loss. The only chance he had was for the Scarlet Knights to run the table.
15. In the good news bad news department. Mavericks win their 11th straight. Mavericks lose Disco Dirk. Mark Cuban cannot be happy. Too bad he’s not talking about the NBA anymore. He did say this about Dirk: “Watching Dirk is of course amazing. He does thing no other 7 footer can, and often punctuates possessions with a jumper that is so smooth that as the ball falls through the cords, you immediately think of Wesley Snipes line from White Men Can’t Jump: ‘Pretty, so Pretty.’” Well that makes me immediately think of Nicholas Colasanto’s line from Raging Bull: “He ain’t pretty no more.”
16. I’m really starting to think Whinie the Pujols is a jerk. 
First his comments about Big Game Tommy in the play-offs. Now this: “I see it this way: Someone who doesn’t take his team to the playoffs doesn’t deserve to win the MVP.” Just shut up and play. You won a ring for god’s sakes. Isn’t that what you cats always say it’s all about?
17. How do the Miami Hurricanes get invited to a Bowl game? It’s just preposterous.
18. Are we talking about bowling? Not a game. Not a game. Not a game. Bowling? We’re talking about bowling? Bowling? Iverson faces fine for missing team bowling event. Preposterous. I bet he feels all broke.
Public Spectacle:
Peace out homies. Six two and Even!
Josh Q. Public: This is where the party ends. I can’t stand here listening to you and your racist friend.
Public Service Announcement: OK, here we go! Goodness gracious me oh my-oh. I may be a day late and a dollar short on this one, but who cares? I may be delving into scary territory here, but so what? It’s always risky for a white dude to bring up the race card when it pertains to a black dude, but I don’t care. This nonsense was just wrong. Jimmy the Greek wrong. Not for nothing, isn’t that name politically incorrect in and of itself? The Right Reverend Reggie White wrong. Al Campanis wrong. Mel Gibson wrong. Jesse Jackson wrong. What? Think we forgot the hymietown comments? Michael Richards wrong. Ricky Manning Jr. wrong. John Rocker wrong. Bob Ryan wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong. In case you have absolutely no idea what I’m talking about, you can listen here. If you’re at work or don’t feel like listening, let me break it down for you. Michael Irvin on the Dan Patrick radio show talking about the Cowboys win over the then undefeated Colts. Michael says Tony Romo outplayed your boy Peyton Manning. No problems there. He did. The Playmaker then says Tony Romo “doesn’t look like that type of athlete.” Uh oh. What type of athlete, Mike? Danger Will Robinson, danger! Wait for it, wait for it, boom goes the dynamite! “There must be some brothers in that line somewhere…somewhere there are some brothers…I don’t know who saw what, where…maybe his great, great, great, great Grandma ran over in the hood or something went down.” What the hell does that mean? Dan Patrick wanted to know the same thing. He asked Michael, “That’s the only way to be a great athlete?” You think this would be the part of the story where Irvin regains composure and talks some sense. Nothing doing. “No, that’s not the only way…but it’s certainly one way…maybe his great, great, great, great Grandma pulled one of them studs up outta the barn and said 
‘come here for a second’…back in the day.” Yikes. You can’t say that anymore. If you say that, you better check yourself into rehab just to save some face. And not for nothing again, but Mike sure sounded baked during the whole interview. Giggling like a schoolgirl throughout. Where’s Tom Jackson calling Mike a retard when you need him. Oooh, can I say that? Goodness. Didn’t Rush get shitcanned for talking that baloney. Isn’t Borat on the ropes for perceived racism? Aren’t Danish cartoonists everywhere hiding for their lives? To be honest, I think it’s kind of funny. What’s funnier is I never heard about it until today. I heard about 
Mel Gibson and Michael Richards about 8 seconds after their incidents occurred. Where’s the outcry? Believe me, I’m no political correctness policeman, but c’mon, nothing about this anywhere? To Michael’s defense, he did apologize: “I do want to apologize for those comments. They were inappropriate and insensitive. My whole thing, what I always try to do, is give people a first-hand knowledge of what it’s like in the locker room and how we as players joke around with one another. This is how I joke around with Romo when we’re playing basketball … certainly, there’s a difference from me the player and me the broadcaster. We may joke around like that in the locker room, and I’m trying to bring them in the locker room.” I don’t know what any of that means. I do know Aaron Frickin Boone tore up his knee playing basketball. The Tuna can be none to happy. Neither can ESPN, the World Wide Leaders.
Side Note: Why the gratuitous picture of Jessica Simpson? I heard somewhere she’s dating Tony Romo.
Public Knowledge:
1. Ben Wallace is in hot water for wearing a headband. Apparently, the Bulls frown 
on that sort of behavior. Slick Watts must be rolling over in his grave. Slick is his name, let him play his game. I loved that cat. Donald Earl “Slick” Watts. New York City playground legend. Seattle SuperSonics. In 1976, he led the league in assists, and steals. Got hurt, and that was that. He’s still alive. He was bald and wore a headband. Looked real cool. Nobody else was doing it. Slick Watts lady and gentlemen.
2. I’m sick of the all those holier than thous complaining that McGwire shouldn’t be on the same ballot with Gwynn and Cal. Who’s to say those dudes weren’t on the juice. In 1988, at the age of 28, Gwynn hit .313. The next year, his average went up to .336 but after that, he hit .309, .317 and .317. Out of nowhere, at the ripe old age of 33, Gwynn miraculously boosts his average to .358. At 34, he hit .394. At 35, 36 and 37 he hit .368, .353 and .372. Hmmm. A 37-year-old Tony Gwynn hits 59 points better than a 28-year-old Tony Gwynn. Interesting. And what about your boy Cal? The year Brady Anderson hit 50 bombs, Cal racked up more total bases and posted a higher slugging percentage than he had in the five previous seasons. Curious, no? To play all those games in a row sure does take some cheerleader like recovery. Heroes style. Don’t you think? I’m just saying. Who the hell knows?
3. Word has it the Sox offered D-Mat around 7 mil. Boras is looking for 15 mil. The Sox insist this move was not made merely to block the Bombers from getting him. In fact, Larry Lucchino called that notion “preposterous.” I like that word, 
preposterous. I’m gonna use it more.
4. The New York Yankees get the chance to sign a Japanese pitcher of their own. $26,000,194 for the right to negotiate with lefty Kei Igawa. Does that mean he’s half as good as D-Mat?
5. The Silent Killer at it again. Michael Redd. 45 points and two four point plays. Yowza! Bucks win! Bucks win! Beat the Lakers.
6. Nets freefall continues. Lose their sixth straight. Lose to the Bobcats. Good 
grief. You know what that means sports fans? The Celtics are all alone in first place. Just preposterous. I would not want to be Joumana Kidd about now. Not only did the Nets lose six in a row, Kidd scored only six points. The fifth straight game in which he has failed to score in double-figures. That matched the longest streak of Kidd’s NBA career.
7. Ha ha Chompers. Bruins smash the Leafs 4-1. The second time in four days the B’s beat those cats. Tim Thomas made 45 saves, the most saves by a Bruins goaltender in a win since Oct. 29, 1996, when Bill Ranford stopped 46 shots in a 5-2 victory over Puddy’s boys. You remember Ranford. Conn Smythe Trophy winner. Oilers. Grant Fuhr’s back up. Then won a Cup of his own. The last Cup that Edmonton squad would win. Not for nothing, Ranford played the on-ice scenes as Jim Craig in the movie Miracle.
Public Spectacle:
Peace out homies. Six Two and Even!