Josh Q. Public: I’ve got the D double O, D double O style.

Public Service Announcement:  I grew up very spoiled. Loads of talented sports reporters came through Boston in the 70’s and 80’s. Bob Ryan. Dan Shaughnessy. Leigh Montville. Will McDonough. Johnny Most. Len Berman. Dick Stockton. Jackie McMullan. Michael Holley. Ken Harrelson. Ned Martin. Ken Coleman. Sean McDonough. Peter Gammons. Jack Edwards.

As much as I loved reading/watching/ listening to these guys, none gave me as much enjoyment as three regular guys: Mark Witkin, Jimmy McCarthy, and Eddie Andelman: hosts of radio’s Sports Huddle. Pioneers. This was before today’s sports radio, and round the clock, analysis and micro analysis of minutiae and nonsense. The other day on the FAN, I listened for about two hours while Mike and the Mad Dog bitched and moaned about which NYC closer should come out to some stupid song I never heard before. Sports Huddle was before all that.

Every Sunday from 7-11, Eddie, Mark, and Jim welcomed you into their world. I learned more about sports there than anywhere else. These guys were a riot. The intro. Circus calliope music. Some lady screaming, “Jimmy…Jimmy McCarthy, its supper time.” You knew it was huddle time. About 10 one liners and fake sports stories to start the show. Sports Huddle was more than sports radio, it was like Second City Television and the Jerky Boys rolled into one.

I will never forget lying in bed, lights off, all of about 8 years old. The guys call Howard Cosell’s hotel in Detroit. Howard Cosell! They call room service and Eddie orders a double prune juice… straight, no chaser…for Cosell’s breakfast. They got me. I didn’t miss too many Sunday night shows, I’ll tell you that. Prank calls were my favorite. I remember they called Buckingham Palace, and asked whether the Queen would trade two of their guards for Len St. Jean and whoever the other starting guard for the Pats was. It seems corny now, but there was nothing like it then. It was cutting edge.

When the Red Sox were in their 10 player, 10 cab mode, the guys called the Sox’ hotel restaurant in KC during a Sox road trip. Reserved 25 tables for one. Simply classic. C’mon, its a little funny.

Oh there’s more. Eddie called a hotel in San Diego. Winter baseball meetings. Nobody would talk to him. Andelman picked up on a background voice saying “There’s no hot water in Room 313.” That’s all he needed. Called the lady in the room. Told her he was the hotel manager. Told her that he couldn’t help her and that she had a lot of nerve asking for hot water. She demands to talk with his boss. He refuses, knock down, drag out war, I’m in tears. Great stuff!

The Huddle searched Australian Football for a kicker for the Patriots. Then, they brought one of these guys over. Called him “Super Foot.” He made the fricken team. At one point, there was this Mexican pitcher with the Red Sox, Vincente Romo. This guy just disappears in the middle of the season. The Huddle hunts him down and finds him. In a Mexican barroom. Unbelievable.

No, this is the best one, really. These guys hated Don Zimmer, the bald headed gerbil. Anytime anybody said his name, they’d play this public service announcement: “I’m sorry, You are not to refer to the Red Sox manager by name. His code name is: ‘Chiang Kai-shek’.” You would hear this like 50 times a night. Relentless.

Sports Huddle was a sensation. It was bigger than just sports talk, it influenced all sports coverage. Without it, there’d be no Mike and the Mad Dog. For the avid Boston sports talk radio fans, we all had our favorite Sports Huddle moment. During its heyday, with Eddie as the ringmaster of the show, there was nothing like it.

The show would end with “Happy Trails,” and Donald Duck giving the station identification, and then I could go to sleep.

Peace out homies:  Six Two and Even!

Josh Q. Public:  Can I get a witness to testify.  Open your eyes, electrify.

Public Service Announcement:  Hot off the presses: Mets farm hand, Yusaku Iriki, just suspended for steroid use.  The thing is, Mr. Iriki, is a pitcher, not a Herculean home run hitter.  The first major-leaguer ever suspended for testing positive for steroids?  Tampa Bay’s Alex Sanchez.  Pitcher.  Now, when I think of steroids, images of Bonds and McGuire fill my head.  Hulking behemoths.  But don’t think pitchers are immune. In fact, early last April, when all this brouhaha started, 38 minor leaguers were suspended, of them, 17 were pitchers.  Later in May, 11 more farmers got caught, 7 pitchers.  Up in the Big Show last year, 12 players nabbed.  6 pitchers.  So while we’re all focused on Sosa and Raphy, pitchers go below the radar.  Rocket?  Unit?  Who knows?  All we do know is that steroids not only bulk dudes up, they also accelerate recovery after games and workouts.  That’s huge.  Baseball people had this to say: 

Tom House, ex Sox reliever:  It’s not about getting big as a pitcher, it’s about recovery.” 

Tomas Santiago:  “You hear they help performance and add miles (per hour) to your fastball, and also for pitchers, because the season is so long and we depend on our arms, I’ve heard people do it to maintain performance through the season without fading at the end.'’ 

Big Barry Planet Zito:  “I think for pitchers, recovery is bigger than strength. It’s a pretty big thing to have a pitcher who doesn’t get hurt, who’s available.”

Tom House bringing it all home:  “A pitcher who recovers more efficiently over the course of the year will have more left in the tank at the end of the season.” 

And there you have it. It makes sense. 

Padres General Manager, Kevin Towers:   “I think a lot of pitchers were trying to be quiet, lie dormant and complain about small parks and big power hitters, when they were just as involved (in using steroids).”  

How else do we explain these guys coming back from Tommy John surgery, and adding 6-7 mph on their fastball. Hmmmm? Or, how are all these over the hill pitchers still making an impact? It could be genetics, a fine training regimen, clean living. It could be steroids.   

Tom House has admitted to being on the juice in his day: “We were doing steroids they wouldn’t give to horses. ”

He and a bunch of other guys used uppers, human growth hormone and “whatever steroid” they could find. If they were doing it then, you gotta think they’re doing it now. Especially, since the science of it is so refined now. 

Another great quote from Tom:  “We didn’t get beat, we got out-milligrammed, and when you found out what they were taking, you started taking them.” 

That has to be the mentality, even today.  With all that money involved, wouldn’t you try to get an edge?  I don’t necessarily blame the players.  Whatever the market will bear, right?  Well, the market bore a lot.  It now has to answer for it.  The casualties remain to be seen.  By the way, House is the answer to this trivia question: Who caught Hank Aaron’s record breaking home run? He was in the Braves bullpen for 715.

Public Spectacle:

Peace out homies.  Six two and Even!

Josh Q. Public:  I get knocked down, but I get up again.  You’re never going to keep me down!  -Cumbawumba

Public Service Announcement:  OK, here we go!  No we’re not talking about tee-shirts. Ok, this is might be the point where Daddy jumps the shark. But, I don’t care, its my damn blog. Alright, without further adieu, the All Wife Beating team.

1. At 6′4″, from the University of California, Jason Kidd. This NBA superstar belted his beautiful wife during an argument at the dinner table. The two were eating with their gargantuan headed son. Kidd then alledgedly took a french-fry from Junior big head’s plate. The wife did not like this one bit and said so. Kidd, in turn, spat the alledged fry into her face. Another assist for Kidd. As she turned away, Jason punched the lovely lady in the face for the triple double. Yikes! Joumana said, “There’s just a bad history here.” Ya think? She also said, “I told him this would be the last time, and he popped me right in the mouth.” That’ll teach her. Ms. Kidd later stated, “What happened the other night was good… because it’s brought us a lot closer together.” Nothing like a good old fashioned beating to rekindle the old sparks.

2. Number 25, playing first base, from Mayaguez, Puerto Rico, Wil “the Thrill” Cordero- After getting plastered with his teamates following a double-header loss at Fenway Park, Cordero came home stumblin’ bumblin’ drunk and attacked his wife Ana.  First, he slapped her real good like, when that wasn’t enough, Cordero thought it would be wise to smash her in the head with a telephone, leaving her nose all bloodied up. And if that wasn’t enough, he threatened to kill her. What is wrong with people? Dan Duquette used to love to call Cordero a “professional hitter.” Maybe Duquette knew what he was talking about. Cordero was later released by the Red Sox, but not before getting booed relentlessly by Sox fans whenever he came to bat.

3. At 6′4″, weighing in at 265 lbs, hailing from Buffalo, New York, formerly know as the Narcissist, formerly known as the Total Package, Ex USFL Memphis Showboat & Tampa Bay Bandit. Ex- CFL Montreal Alouette. Ex-NFL Green Bay Packer. NWA/WCW Heavyweight Champion. WCW World Champion. NWA/WCW Tag Team Champion. Ranked #2 in the WWF. Wrestling phenom Lex Luger. The first time the police visited Luger, he was arrested for beating the crap out of his live in girlfriend, the Lovely Elizabeth. You remember her, Macho Man’s girl. Now this is where it gets kind of funky. Two weeks later, Lex was arrested by Georgia cops after they found steroids in his house. Why were the cops at his abode, you ask? They were there investigating the death of Miss Elizabeth. Hmm, dead girlfriend, all hepped up on the juice, just got busted 2 weeks prior for body slamming her around. I’m no Columbo, but c’mon.

Side Note- Luger was booked to win the WWF World championship at Wrestlemania X. However, he got bombed out of his mind just before WrestleMania, and told anyone who would listen.  Poor Lex was never again given any run for the WWF title.

4. At running-back, 6′0, 230 lbs, out of The Fresno State University, New Orleans’ own, Michael Pittman. Pittman is not not your run of the mill wife beater, oh no. He’s a serial coward. He was mad, so he took his Hummer and smashed into his wife’s car. Not only was his wife in the car, but so was their 2-year-old bundle of joy, and baby sitter. No first time offender, Pittman was already on probation for two previous girl stomping escapades. He was sentenced to a yearlong batterers treatment program. How was that program? Helpful? And, if that weren’t enough, Melissa, his wife, told police, “There were 30 to 40 prior domestic violence situations that were never reported to the police.” Goodness. 30 to 40? I’m not one to judge, but that seems a bit excessive.

5. What All-Star team would be complete without All-World Barry Bonds. After a game, one afternoon, Mrs. Bonds wanted to hang out with some friends. Mr. Nice Guy told her that she could not leave the house “until the children were fed their dinner.” How can you have your pudding, if you haven’t fed the children their dinner?  Pink Floyd style.  She fed the the little cherubs and went out.  She didnt get home till real late.  Like 11:30 pm.  How does he put up with that stuff?  Anyway, she gets home and starts looking for her birth control pills.  Barry’s not having it.  He throws her against the car and grabs her around the neck.  Again, he strangles her, and throws her down the stairs. Not to bet deterred, Mrs Bonds, came back to get her pills.  At that point, did she need them that bad?  It doesn’t seem like anything was gonna happen any time soon anyway.  Barry really showed her who’s boss this time though, smashing her to the ground and kicking her around a couple a times.  I really hate this guy, and he wonders why “people are out to get him.” Jerk.

6. The manager, Bobby Cox- Or as Omar Maniacal likes to call him, Bobby Cock.  Cox was arrested by police at his home, and jailed overnight. He was charged with simple battery, accused of punching his wife and pulling her hair.  Pulling her hair? C’mon you sissy, knock it off.

Manager of the Year 1985, 1991 2004, and 20005. Won the World Series in 1995, the same year he pulled his wife’s hair.

Dishonorable Mentions:

Pedro Astacio- Once the ace of the Colorado Rockies pitching staff, pleaded guilty to third-degree assault for punching his wife, Ana, in the face. Good work.

Bobby Chouinard - Arizona Diamondbacks middle reliever—The 27-year-old pitcher terrorized his wife, Erica, choking her, slapping her, and finally pointing a loaded handgun at her head.

Jose Canseco- Rammed his first wife’s car with his own, then five years later was back in court after hitting his second wife in the face. Little roid rage?

Rae Carruth- Carolina Panthers- Murdered his pregnant girlfriend and then hid in the trunk of his car. 

Steve “Mustafa” Muhammad - Colts- Spared a murder rap when a coroner determined that his pregnant wife, Nichole, died as a result of injuries sustained in a November car crash, not the beating he delivered several days earlier.

Riddick Bowe - Bowe dragged his wife across the floor, leaving her with cuts on her knees and elbows, following an altercation. The former Heavyweight Champeen was arrested and charged with third-degree assault.

Armando Benitez- SF Giants- Benitez was charged with domestic battery for his actions during a beating he gave to his former girlfriend Stacy O’Neill.

Tonya Harding- Threw a hubcap at her boyfriend, and proceeded to punch him repeatedly in the face. This is my all-time favorite.

Allen Iverson- Threw his wife, Tawanna, out the front door of their home and then went hunting her down with a gun.

Anthony Carter- Minnesota Vikings- Carter punched his wife in the face and threw her to the ground a bunch of times. He also pointed a .45-caliber handgun at her head and wouldn’t let her leave their house or call for help. She said he finally let her out two hours after the beat down to walk the dog.

John Daly- Hurled his wife against a wall, pulled her hair, and trashed the house. Why do these guys always pull hair, I don’t get it.

Sugar Ray Leonard- Smacked his wife around with his fists and threw her about the house “on more than one occasion.” He threw lamps and broke mirrors. Ray Leonard denied none of this. At a press conference, he admitted to punching his wife senseless.

Public Spectacle:

Peace out homies.  Six Two and Even!