Tell me why is it so. Don’t wanna let you go. Never can say goodbye. No no no no, I never can say goodbye. -Michael Jackson
Oh boy. Boy howdy. Howdyalike them apples? Like Sasha Grey always says, “This is a tough one to swallow.” I’ve always been a good soldier, right? I’ve always been a company man, right? Not so much today. Today I’m a little like Rocky Burnett. Today, I’m tired of toeing the line. As you all know by now, my beloved Boston Celtics sent center Kendrick Perkins and Nate Robinson to Oklahoma City in exchange for the 7-foot Nenad Krstic and Jeff Green. I do not like this. I do not like this in a house. I do not like this with a mouse. I do not like this here or there. I do not like this anywhere.
There are two reasons and two reasons only the Celtics make this move. Reason One: They do not feel they can re-sign Perk this off-season. Reason Two: They know more about Kendrick’s balky knees than they have been letting on. Of those two reasons, I can live with Reason Two. If Perkins can’t play, he can’t help Boston win a ring. And you know, I know, and Cab Calloway knows, it don’t mean a thing if you ain’t got that ring. Doo-wab-di-wab doo-wab-di-wab doo-wab-di-wab doo-wab-di-wah!
That is why I cannot live with Reason One. It is difficult to win an NBA Championship. Very Difficult. Don’t believe me? As Karl Malone or John Stockton. Ask Reggie Miller. Ask Charles Barkley. The NBA is not a Disney movie. It is not a massage parlour down in old China Town. Not everybody gets a happy ending. This ain’t no party, this ain’t no disco, this ain’t no fooling around. I understand the Boston Celtics braintrust decided they would not be able to afford Kendrick Perkins at the end of this season. I get it. I do. But, Stanley, see this? This is this. This ain’t something else. This is this. This is about winning a championship now. Without Kendrick Perkins, the Celtics have just moved farther away from that goal.
There is a reason we folks around Boston say Perk is a beast. He was the X-Factor. The Xavier McDaniel factor. Just so you know, while at Wichita State, the original X-Man, Xavier McDaniel, was the first man to lead the nation in both rebounding and scoring in the same season. Yowza! Like the original X-Man, Perk did all the dirty work. Dirty deeds. Done dirt cheap. He was explosive from beginning to end. I’m T.N.T. I’m dynamite. T.N.T. And I’ll win the fight. The Boston Celtics won a lot with fights with Kendrick Perkins in the line-up. That Boston Celtics starting line-up never lost a playoff series. Last year, they lost a Game 7 fight without Kendrick Perkins in the line-up.
So what makes Ainge and Company think they can win without him now? Kendrick Perkins was the backbone of the Celtics defense. No need to double-team other team’s bigs with good ole Perk around. He was the meat and potatoes. If you don’t eat yer meat, you can’t have any pudding. How can you have any pudding if you don’t eat yer meat His staunch, stand-’em-up, low-post defense and his dexterity in guarding the pick-and-roll allowed the Celtics team-defense to have their pudding. He allowed the Celtics team-defense to be a league leader in points-allowed per game, defensive efficiency and point-differential. This cannot be discounted. Without Perk, is this what we have to look forward to:
By trading Kendrick Perkins, Boston is placing hope beyond that Shaquille O’Neal will remain healthy for the playoffs. If Shaq cannot remain healthy, who’s gonna guard Dwight Howard? Howard says that nobody guards him as well as Perkins does. Who’s gonna guard Andrew Bynum? Amare Stoudemire? Without Perk or Shaq manning the post, the Heat are enabled to use Chris Bosh more frequently at center, especially if Udonis Haslem returns from injury. I hope Bob Ryan is right. I hope Danny knows what he’s doing. But for me, for this season, for this ring, I just don’t see it.
Peace out Kendrick. Six two and even!