From the good folks over at Screen Junkies, I give you The Greatest Sports Pep Talk Ever:

Peace out homies. Six two and even!

Everyday you are out fighting someone in the street.  You’re always fighting someone you know ya can’t beat.  Then you wonder how, you got in this mess.  Just think of what you said, then take a guess.  -Run DMC

MMA is all the rage with all the kids.  I ain’t no kid.  No, I’m a man.  I still like boxing.  Ahhh boxing.  The sweet science.  Amir Khan just may be the sweetest scientist of them all.  So then what’s all this?  What’s all this mess Timothy Bradley is talking?  Saturday night, at the Silverdome, Bradley emerged with an ugly butt-induced 10th round technical decision win over Devon Alexander.  He emerged with an ugly butt-induced 10th round technical decision win in a fight he was losing.  On a night when Bradley trailed in power punches, he resorted to head butting.  Two times.  Get the papers.  Get the papers.  Alexander needed four stitches from the first butt and two from the second.  Ultimately the fight was called.  In favor of Bradley.  Junior Welterweight title unification and all.  Egads man!  Talk about winning ugly.  However, that ugly win did nothing but embolden Mr. Bradley.  Like my main Reggie Hammond always says, “Lack of pussy make you brave!”         Read More »

In Charlotte, NC, during a game between the Butler Bulldogs and the East Mecklenburg Eagles, a Butler player’s father got into an argument when security asked the man’s daughter to sit on the opposite side of the gym with her own school’s fans and one thing led to another. Well sir, we were going to this bingo parlor at the YMCA, well one thing led to another, and the instructions got all fouled up… The instructions got all fouled up and the two of them got into it. Hilarity ensues:

Peace out homies. Six two and even!

Youre just as soft as a lion tamed.  Youre just as wet as the evening rain.  Soft and wet.  Soft and wet.  -Prince

After yesterday’s Heat/Thunder game, Kevin Durant called out Chris Bosh.  After yesterday’s Heat/Thunder game, Kevin Durant said of Bosh, “There’s a lot of fake tough guys in this league and he’s one of them.”  In a word, Kevin Durant called Chris Bosh, soft.  In a word, Kevin Durant is, right.              Read More »

No kiddin’, I’m ready to fight.  I’ve been lookin’ for my baby all night.  If I get her in my sight – Boom boom! out go the lights!  -Little Walter

Wooooo doggie!  If  I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a thousand times:  There’s no greater feeling than blogging when your teams are winning.  My team is winning all right.  My team is winning, and like Tony! Toni! Toné!, it feels good.  My team is winning, and like James Brown, it feels nice, like sugar and spice.  It feels nice, like sugar and spice, because yesterday afternoon, my beloved Boston Celtics beat the pants off the hated Los Angeles Lakers.  Beat the pants off the Lakers real good like.  Beat the pants off the Lakers by shooting the lights out.  Shot the lights out and went 44 of 73 from the field.  Just so you know, that’s 60.3%.  Just so you know, that was the third-highest field-goal percentage ever posted by the Celtics against the Lakers, at home or on the road, during the regular season or postseason, versus the Minneapolis or the LA Lakers.  How about that?  How about this:  The Boston Celtics are the only team in the NBA shooting over 50 percent.  Hooray Celtics!        Read More »

Today’s the Pro Bowl. Hooray Pro Bowl! Not really. But still. But still, today’s Pro Bowl affords me the opportunity to post this. Today’s Pro Bowl affords me the opportunity to post everybody’s favorite office linebacker. So without further ado, I give you, Terrible Terry Tate:

Peace out homies. Six two and even!

This is what it sounds like – when we ride on our enemies.  Beyotch!  When we ride on our enemies.  -Tupac Shakur

The Celtics and Lakers both lost on Friday night.  It was the 31st time this season that both teams played on the same day, but only the second in which they both tasted defeat.  But you know what?  It doesn’t matter.  That’s what!  Like my main main Tripper always says:  It just doesn’t matter because all the really good looking girls would still go out with the guys from Mohawk because they’ve got all the money!  It just doesn’t matter if we win or we lose.  It just doesn’t matter!   It just doesn’t matter!   It just doesn’t matter!  It doesn’t matter because when you have battle tested teams such as these, that’s the way it works.   When you have battle tested teams such as these, piling up wins in the regular season isn’t your main priority — piling up wins in the postseason is.              Read More »

Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!  Even though the sound of it is something quite atrocious!  If you say it loud enough, you’ll always sound precocious.  Um-diddle-diddle-um-diddleye.  -Mary Poppins

It’s almost here!  Super Sunday.  Super fun day.  More fun than Plaxico Burress gun day.  It’s a quest for fun.  I’m gonna have fun and you’re gonna have fun.  We’re all gonna have so much f**king fun we’ll need plastic surgery to remove our godamn smiles.  You’ll be whistling ‘Zip-A-Dee Doo-Dah’ out of you’re assholes!  Now that’s fun.  You know what else is fun?  Huh?  Do ya?  Sure you do.  Making up All Star teams is fun.  I know, I know, you wanted chicks and guns and fire trucks and hookers and drugs and booze!  Do that on your own time.  This my time.  This my damn blog.  And now without further ado, my damn Super Bowl All Star team:    Read More »

Hey young world… the world is yours.  Hey young world… the world is yours.  Young world, young world… the world is yours.  -Slick Rick

When Jeff Skinner was named to the NHL All-Star Game yesterday as an injury replacement, it made him the NHL’s youngest All-Star of all time.  Sort of.  Back in the day, back in the Eddie Shore hockey days, the defending Stanley Cup champions used to play against a selection of players from the other five teams.  Back in the day, back in the Eddie Shore hockey days,  it was the Toronto Maple Leafs  playing in a lot of those games against a selection of players from the other five teams.  In one such game, in 1947, Fleming MacKell of Toronto, in his first NHL game ever, played at the ripe young age of 18 years, 5 months, and 13 days.  So in reality, Jeff Skinner is the NHL’s youngest All-Star selection of all time.   See, I can handle things!  I’m smart!  Not like everybody says… like dumb… I’m smart and I want respect!  You know who else wants respect?  Huh?  Do ya?  Sure you do.  Jeff Skinner wants respect and I say he gets it in this year’s edition of the NHL All-Star Game.  Hooray Jeff Skinner!         Read More »

We gon’ go all night.  We gon’ light it up like it’s dynamite!  ‘Cause I told you once, now I told you twice.  We gon’ light it up like it’s dynamite!  -Taio Cruz

Before Charles Barkley was an analyst for TNT, Charles Barkley was a basketball player.  Now I know you know that.  But what I meant was:  Before Charles Barkley was an analyst for TNT, Charles Barkley was a basketball player.  Legend has it, when USC Trojan Fullback Sam Bam ran roughshod all over the then lilly white Alabama Crimson Tide, he did more in that one game for integration in the South than Martin Luther King was able to accomplish in a decade.  Legend also has it, after that game, Bear Bryant took Cunningham into the Tide locker room and said to his team:  “This is Sam Cunningham. This is what a football player looks like.”  Charles Barkley is what a basketball player looked like.  He was that rare player who could operate almost anywhere and do almost anything on the court.  There’s a guy out there now who reminds me a lot of Charles Barkley.  That guy is Zach Randolph. Read More »