It’s like a heatwave, burning in my heart.  I can’t keep from crying.  Tearing me apart.  -Martha and the Vandellas

Public Service Announcement:  Ok, here we go!  Who’s afraid of the big bad heat?  The big bad heat.  The big bad heat.  Maybe you are.  Maybe you’re a Knicks fan.  Maybe you’re a Hawks fan.  Maybe you’re a Pistons fan.  That’s you.  But, like my main man Bob Dylan always says, “It ain’t me, babe.”  I’m a Celtics fan.  Always have been.  Always will be.  Ever since they won titles back-to-back and didn’t give nobody no kind of slack.  Or when Kevin McHale shook the whole damn team with moves that came right out of a dream.  Or when Dennis Johnson stood so tall, playing D with desire, it’s basketball.  It’s Boston Celtics basketball baby!            Read More »

Speed of lightning, roar of thunder, fighting all who rob or plunder:  Underdog.  Underdog.  Underdog!  -Underdog Theme

Public Service Announcement:  First off, you must know, I hate the Chargers.  Hated ‘em since the Patriots did the Lights Out Dance on the Super Charger logo four years ago.  Know this:  You can’t have a signature dance or prop and not expect it to get used against you if things go bad.  The Honky Tonk Man knew there was always a chance that somebody would take his guitar and smash it over his head.  The Patriots took Shawn Merriman’s guitar and smashed it over his head.  The Chargers have been crying ever since and if any of ‘em ain’t crying now, they’re gonna be crying come Sunday.          Read More »

Pull up at the function and you know I’m like Kojak to all the party people that are on my bozak.  I’ve got more action than my man John Woo, and I’ve got mad hits like I was Rod Carew.  -Beastie Boys

Public Service Announcement: Ok, here we go!  Just a quick one.  A run and stick one.  Every day, my boy, the Half Bald Prince, sends me a text.  Every day.  Said text goes a little something like this:  Cano is a beast!  Every day.  He’s right.  If you’ve been watching Cano during the regular season, or had him on your fantasy team like I did, you’re seeing what folks who have only tuned in to these here ALCS games are seeing.  You’re seeing Robinson Cano in the midsts of a true breakout year.  A gorilla in the midst.               Read More »

Enough already about Bret Favre’s pee pee.  Here’s a football player’s body part we can really get excited about:

Peace out homies. Six two and even!

You gotta run, run, run, run, run, take a drag or two.  Run, run, run, run, run, Gypsy Death and you.  Tell you whatcha do.  -Velvet Underground

Public Service Announcement:  It should be no shock that over here at JQP Productions, we are backing the Texas Rangers in this here ALCS.  Like my main man Bullet Bob Feller always says, “I would rather beat the Yankees regularly than pitch a no hit game.”  Well, if the Rangers want to beat the Yankees regularly in these playoffs, they better hit the ground running.  Run Forrest, Run!  Run like the wind.  Run like people are chasing them.  Run like the Red Sox ran on them in the last Yankees-Sox series at the Stadium.  You remember, don’t you?  Not only did the Red Sox have four ninth inning stolen bases off Jorge Posada in that series, but they also had two double steals off him in the season finale.  That’s right, two double steals that included Boston’s first steal of home since Jacoby Ellsbury did it against Posada and the Yankees last year.              Read More »

Hey young world, the world is yours.  Hey young world, the world is yours.  Young world, young world, the world is yours.  -Slick Rick

Public Service Announcement:  Ok, here we go!  Hockey Krishnas rejoice!  Hockey hockey!  Krishna Krishna!  Steven Stamkos was the first overall pick by the Tampa Bay Lightning in the 2008 NHL Draft.  For good reason.  They don’t call him Stammer the Hammer for nothing.  His vision is outstanding.  His quickness unmatched.  On the power play, he is a beast.  His one timer is as breathtaking as NHL ‘94.  It’s in the game!   He is a leader and will be a captain very quickly into his NHL career.         Read More »

I love Mad Men.  I love Sesame Street.  Put ‘em together waddya get?  You get a little something like this:

Peace out homies. Six two and even!

What you waiting on?  I present to you a perfect situation.  Ain’t no need anticipating, no.  Take that.  Take that.  -Usher

Public Service Announcement:  Ok, listen, I have no love for the Mets.  To me, the New York Metropolitans are just another baseball team.  At this point, just another bad baseball team.  But Jeff Francoeur has some nerve.  In case you haven’t heard, Jeff Francoeur took some shots at his old team and they went a little something like this:  “I always wanted to know what it was like to play meaningful baseball in New York and I’m going to have the opportunity.”  Ouch!  That’s not nice.            Read More »

Oh!  The good ol’ Hockey game, is the best game you can name.  And the best game you can name, is the good ol’ Hockey game.  -Stompin’ Tom Connors

Public Service Announcement: Last night, Pavel Datsyuk scored the 200th goal of his NHL career in the Red Wings’ shootout loss.  Hooray Pavel Datsyuk!  Everybody’s yipping about Alexander Ovechkin.  Everybody’s yapping about Sidney Crosby.  Yipping and yapping.  Flipping and flapping.  Aren’t you guys forgetting someone?  Aren’t you guys forgetting Pavel Datsyuk?  For my money, Datsyuk is the best two way player in hockey.  Red Wings coach Mike Babcock:  ”If you’re down a goal in the last minute, who do you want out there—Ovechkin, Crosby, Malkin or Datsyuk?  Any of them.  But if you’re up a goal in the last minute and need to protect the lead, who would you want?  You’d want Pav.”  You got that right. 

Public Spectacle:

Peace out homies.  Six two and Even!

In light of recent developments, Wrangler has decided to go with a more honest Brett Favre advertising campaign:

Peace out homies. Six two and even!