I’ve got more action than my man John Woo and I’ve got mad hits like I was Rod Carew.  -Beastie Boys

Public Service Announcement:  There was a time when the pitcher was often the best hitter on his team.  A time when guys like John Montgomery Ward, Wes Ferrell, Walter Johnson and George Herman Ruth roamed the earth.  Those time are not these times.  In these times,  players are far more skilled than their ancestors.  In these times, pitching and hitting are both so difficult, that specialization is a must.  In these times, it’s almost impossible for any one person to perform both tasks competently.  That is of course, unless you’re name happens to be Carlos Zambrano.  The Big Z.  El Toro.  The best home run hittenest pitcher in baseball today.       Read More »

Last offseason the Philadelphia Eagles, because they’re just better people than the rest of us, saw through all of the negativity and cynicism and signed Michael Vick. Nay, this was not a decision based upon some selfish desire to make their football team better, as most of us would do, but a selfless sacrifice at the alter of humanity, a lone hand reaching out to pull a troubled soul back from the edge of the Abyss.                      Read More »

You’ve done it now.  You’ve gone and made a big mistake and I can’t allow, you to think you can just walk away.  So turn around and face the piper, you’re gonna pay.  -The Undertaker

Public Service Announcement:  What has Jay Mariotti gotten himself into now?  The man we all love to hate has got some ‘splainin’ to do, Lucy.  According to the LA Times, ESPN personality and sports columnist Jay Mariotti was arrested overnight by Los Angeles police officers.  Word on the street says it is a case of domestic disturbance charge involving his girlfriend.  Word on the street says some type of physical altercation allegedly occurred.  Word on the street says Mariotti pushed and shoved the woman. Word on the street says Mariotti grabbed the girl’s arm and left marks.  Yup, like Jay-Z always says, “The, streets is talkin, niggaz is gossipin.  Bitches all in your shit, what’s the cause of it?”  Apparently, the cause is that Jay believed his girlfriend had been flirting with another man.  Can you blame her?  I know some guys who don’t blame her.  In fact, I know some guys who are probably taking relish to this.  Roger Ebert is taking relish to this.  Chad Ochocinco is taking relish to this.  Ozzie Guillen is taking relish to this.  Hawk Harrelson is taking relish to this.  The chickens have come home to roost.  Get your popcorn ready!

Peace out homies. Six two and Even!

Soy un perdedor.  I’m a loser baby, so why don’t you kill me?  -Beck

Public Service Announcement:   The Pittsburgh Pirates were once a proud franchise.  They were once a storied franchise.  A gloried franchise.  An illustratoried franchise.  They are five-time World Series Champions.  They played in the first modern World Series.  They had guys like Bill Mazeroski, Roberto Clemente, Honus Wagner and Willie Stargell.  Guys like that there.  Oh, how the mighty have fallen.  Are you like Gomer Pyle?  Are you surprised, surprised, surprised?  Of course you’re not.  How could you be?  How could you be surprised that a team that has traded away practically all of its major league talent could be playing this badly?  How badly?  I’m glad you asked.                Read More »

Need someone to explain to me how this whole “second chance” thing works. After sucker punching trash talking  Boise State player Byron Hout last year, LeGarrette Blount was suspended for the season, but recieved the fabled second chance from Chip Kelly, who either had a big heart or more likely a big hole at running back.  Blount returned and helped the Ducks waddle into the Rose Bowl, where they were subsequently sucker punched themselves by Ohio State.             Read More »

Deny, you’re such a liar. You won’t know the truth if it bit you in the eye.  Deny, you’re such a liar.  You’re selling your no-no all the time.  -The Clash

Public Service Announcement:  Ok, here we go!  See what happens?  Roger Clemens was steadfast.  Roger Clemens was adament. He denied being injected with Winstrol by Brian McNamee approximately four times in the buttocks over a several-week period with needles that the Rocket provided.  He denied McNamee injected him in the buttocks four to six times with testosterone from a bottle labeled either Sustanon 250 or Deca-Durabolin that McNamee had obtained from Kirk Radomski.  He denied being injected by McNamee four to six times with human growth hormone received from Radomski.  Read More »

Come see victory in a land called fantasy.  Loving life to a new degree.  Bring your mind to everlasting liberty,  -Earth Wind & Fire

Public Service Announcement:  Here it comes!  Here comes football season.  The thrills.  The spills.  Oh, the humanity!  Like my main man Knute Rockne always says, “Football is a game played with arms, legs and shoulders, but mostly from the neck up.”  Fantasy football is played from the neck up.  To win, you have to be smart.  Not like Fredo.  Like dumb.  You have to be smart to get respect.  That’s where I come in.  Everybody knows about Drew Brees.  Everybody knows about Adrian Peterson.  Everybody knows about Andre Johnson.  It’s the other guys you have to know about.  The sleepers I’m here to crow about.  So let’s get to this.  Like we always knew this.  The Fantasy Football All-Sleeper Team:       Read More »

Oops!  I did it again.  I played with your heart.  Got lost in the game.  Oh, baby, baby.  Oops!  -Britney Spears

Public Service Announcement:  Watching last night’s Red Sox – Rangers game brought back memories.  Terrible memories.  Horrible memories.  Painful memories.  It has been said that, “The heart that truly loves, never forgets.”  I truly love my Red Sox.  I don’t forget.  I can’t forget what happened on that fateful date of October 17, 2003.       Read More »

Hey Joe Reitz, that’s not how you do it:

This is how you do it:

Peace out homies. Six two and even!

Now go get my throne ‘cause I don’t wanna stop.  I just go in my zone and I’ma make it hot ‘til it’s time to go.  When it’s time to go.  Where you tryna go?  You better act like you can see me now.  -Kanye West

Public Service Announcement:  Looky looky here.  Look who it is.  Well if at ain’t Ricky Nolasco.  There was a time Ricky Nolasco was a mere middle reliever.  Next thing you know, he finds his way to the top of the rotation as Florida’s top starting pitcher.  Next thing you know, old Jed’s a millionaire.  Ricky ain’t a millionaire yet.  Yet!  You shouldn’t kick me in the balls, Mrs. Kelly.  My sister kicked me in the balls once.  Once! 

Last night, Ricky Nolasco kicked the Washington Nationals in the balls.  He’s been doing a lot of that lately.  Just so you know, Nolasco is 8-2 in ten starts since June 23.  Just so you know, Nolasco leads the major leagues in wins since that date.  Just so you know, that’s one ahead of CC Sabathia (7-2) and Adam Wainwright (7-2).  How about that?

Peace out homies. Six two and Even!