The Don’t Call It A Comeback All-Stars

Don’t call it a comeback!  I been here for years.  Rockin’ my peers and puttin suckas in fear.  -LL Cool J

Public Service Announcement:  Ok, here we go!  Smell it?  Ooooh that smell.  Can’t you smell that smell?  Smells like neat’s-foot oil in that old Wilson A2000.  Smells like Derek Jeter?  Smells like Red Man.  Smells like Fenway Franks.  They plump when you cook ‘em.  Smells like spilled beer on the hot concrete.   Smells like freshly cut grass.  That was me.  I’d wake up at night with the smell of the ballpark in my nose, the cool of the grass on my feet.  Ahhh, the thrill of the grass.  The thrill of the grass is back baby and these are the guys who are the guys who are ready to come back too:           

Catcher:  Last season, the Los Angeles Dodgers’ Russell Martin struck it rich, bitch.  Last season, Martin signed a one-year, $3.9 million contract to avoid salary arbitration.  The deal was the largest ever awarded to a catcher in his first year of arbitration.  How did he repay his employers?  I’ll tell you how.  He repaid them by putting up the weakest totals in his four-year career.  He repaid them by hitting only .250 with 7 home runs in 143 games.  His slugging percentage was lower than David Eckstein’s.  Yikes!  Like my main man Billy Joel always says, “Is that all you get for your money?” 

Fear thee not Dodgers fans.  Martin is still a young player.  He just has gone through what most players go through over the course of a career.  He just went through a down season.  It happens.  It especially happens to catchers who log in massive amounts of playing time.   This season, there is no World Baseball Classic.  This season, the Dodgers have Brad Ausmus to spell Martin some.  This season, he will be back.

1st base:  D-Backs GM Josh Byrnes says, “Conor Jackson was never right all year.”  D-Backs GM Josh Byrnes put it mildly.  Very mildly.  With a smildly.  And I haven’t seen a smildy that pretty in whildy.  If only Conor Jackson’s 2009 season totals were that pretty.  30 games, one home run, .182 average, .516 OPS.  Egads man!  What the heck happened?  The debilitating double-whammy happened.  Valley fever and pneumonia happened.  It ain’t happening no more.  Jackson:  “Hey, I still have it.”  He had it this winter in the Dominican League.  Hit .425 in 94 plate appearances in the Dominican League.  He’ll have it again in the show.  (Editor’s Note:  With the signing of Adam LaRoche, Jackson will move back to LF.  But hey, this is my damn blog.)

2nd Base:  Heard it in a glooove song.  Heard it in a glooove song.  Can’t be wrong.  Can’t be wrong picking the O-Dog.  If you read the space with any regularity you know I love me some Orlando Hudson.  There was a time he was the best defensive player in baseball.  The best I’ve ever seen.  Maybe the best there’s ever been.  Just a glove machine.  And he won’t work for nobody but you.  He was a web gem stalwart while he was with Toronto.  He then spent his last four years with teams that emphasized defense less than the Jays did.  As a result, his defense suffered.  The Twins emphasize defense.  They are willing to sacrifice some offense for better defense.  That’s good news.  Good news for the O-Dog.  This is the year he rediscovers his glove.

3rd Base:  When Troy Glaus played for the Angels, he was the prototypical power hitter.  The man of the hour.  Tower of power.  When he was healthy, he was good for 30-50 bombs.  He showed glimpses of that power with both the Diamondbacks and Blue Jays but was never able to sustain it.  For the past three seasons, he seems to have lost it altogether.  Glaus’ problem has been his health.  At the end of last season, for the Cardinals, he came back healthy and provided St. Louis with two RBI and five hits (two doubles) for the NL Central Champions.  I say he picks up where he left off.  I say, with the Braves, he becomes, once again, what Atlanta GM Frank Wren likes to call a “run producer.” 

Shortstop:  The 2009 New York Mets were a stumbling bumbling MASH unit.  At the forefront of the parade of the walking wounded was Jose Reyes.  He was the elite of the elite.  The best next thing.  Not a better lead-off hitter in all the land.  Not one I tell you.  Not a better shortstop either.  On May 10, last season, Reyes reached 300 steals in the seventh inning in a game against the Pirates.  Two weeks later, he was placed on the DL due to a calf injury and was nary seen again.  He’ll be seen again this year all right.  And how!

Outfield:  He is, he is, he is Q-uperman and he can do anything. Two seasons ago Carlos Quentin was doing anything.  He was doing anything and everything.  In his first full season hitting white balls for batting practice, he was on his way to an MVP.  In his first full season playing where the ballparks are like cathedrals, he was on his way to the playoffs and beyond.  But then, in a fit of frustration, after fouling off a pitch, Quentin punched his bat and fractured his right wrist.  That my friends, was that.  Last season was not any better.  Last season he suffered through Plantar fasciitis in his left foot, tendonitis in his right knee and the ill effects of his surgically repaired right wrist.  This season, his body seems healed.  This season, his foot feels great.  This season, with the hardware removed from his wrist, he feels ten times better.  This season will be the season of Carlos Quentin.

Outfield:  It was the best of times it was the worst of the times… We were all going direct to heaven, we were all going direct the other way.  In 2008, Josh Hamilton was the feel good of all feel good stories.  Last season, he went direct the other way.  Last season, Hamilton tore his abdominal muscle and by season’s end he had played but 86 games.  He had hit but 10 bombs, 54 RBI and carried but a .741 OPS.  That’s direct the other way from his 32 homers, 130 RBI and .901 OPS of 2008.  It appears now he is back at full strength.  It appears he put on quite a show at the Rangers’ recent minicamp.  Texas Gm Jon Daniels:  “What we saw were those towering shots that made the Home Run Derby.  We didn’t see them last year at any time, but he put on a show every time he stepped in the cage.”

Outfield:  When we saw BJ Upton hit all those home runs in the 2008 post-season, we thought what Jon Landau though when he first saw the Boss.  We thought, “I saw rock and roll’s future and its name is Bruce Springsteen.”  But after offseason surgery on his left shoulder, Upton hit .241 with 11 taters, his on-base percentage was .313, and his .686 OPS was buried down by likes of Kaz Matsui and Christian Guzman.  It looks like BJ’s shoulder is better.  So much better in fact, Rays’ hitting coach Derek Shelton says, “There is little doubt in my mind that B.J. is going to have his breakout season.”  Mine either, Derek.  Mine either.

Pitcher:  Josh “Boom Boom” Beckett the best big game pitcher I’ve ever seen.  The best big game pitcher there’s ever been.  The best big game pitcher from here to Abelene.  However, for the past two seasons, he hasn’t shown so much of that stuff.  That Marshmallow Fluff.  Hasn’t been tough enough.  That was then.  This is now.  Now, he’s on a mission.  A stolen car mission.  He’ll have no problems with the transmission.  Beckett has impeccable work habits.  Habits will that are sure to be impeccabler now that he is in a contract year.  Get your popcorn ready!  Get it ready for a season like 2007.  Get it ready for Josh Beckett.

Public Spectacle:

Peace out homies.  Six two and Even!

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