Remembering Franz Klammer

Faster, faster, faster, until the thrill of speed overcomes the fear of death.  -Hunter S. Thompson

Public Service Announcement:  Ok, here we go!  There was a time when downhill skiing was dominated by one man.  It was dominated like Bjorn Borg dominated tennis.  Like Edwin Moses dominated the hurdles.  Like Richard Petty dominated NASCAR.  Boogity!  Boogity!  Like those guys there, Franz Klammer dominated the downhill.  Speed of lightning!  Roar of thunder!  Fighting all who rob or plunder.  Not plane, nor bird, nor even frog, it’s just little old me, Franz Klammer.  Back in 1976, I had never really watched skiing.  I did not know what to expect.  I certainly did not expect to see what I done saw.  I saw the Kaiser, the Austrian Astronaut.  I saw Franz Klammer.  I saw him ski into history.  I never saw anything like it in all my life.  He can’t possibly ski this way!  How’s he staying on the course?  He’s going to get himself killed!  Klammer was the odds-on favorite to win at Innsbruck.  He was the favorite because because he’d owned the World Cup circuit leading up to the Games.  However, defending Olympic champion, Switzerland’s Bernhard Russi, set a torrid pace and completed the Patscherkofel course in a blistering 1:46.06.  Klammer had his work cut out for him.  Right out of the gate, he pushed himself to the limit.  He pushed himself  faster and faster.  He pushed himself with reckless abandon.  He pushed himself to go where no man had gone before.  Pushed himself, sacrificing control for speed at almost every turn.  Sweet sassy molassy!  As he tore down the mountain, Klammer would at times hit phat air with his arms flailing this way and his skis flailing that.  Some 60,000 screaming Austrians lined the course, chanting “Klammer! Klammer!”  I joined them from the floor of our den.  Time after time, the Kaiser avoided sure diaster.  Klammer:  ”The only disaster would have been if I hadn’t dared to give it my best.”  He gave it his best all right.  When all was said and done, as he flew over the last jump and down the final stretch, Klammer came in at 1:45.73.  When all was said and done, Klammer had beaten the Swiss by three-tenths of a second.  When all was said and done, Klammer took home the gold.

Public Spectacle:

Peace out homies. Six two and Even!

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