Josh Q. Public, that is my name, and I know the fly spot where they got the champagne. We rode for six hours then we hit the spot. The beat was a bumping and the girlies was hot. -Beastie Boys
Public Service Announcement: Ok, here we go! Like the Venga Boys always say, “Hey now, hey now, hear what I say now. Happiness is just around the corner” That’s right, the Superbowl is right around the corner. Shhh! It’s around the corner. And like the Venga Boys, football players sure like to party. They like, they like to party. So my friends, with the Super Bowl coming up and all, let’s have a look see at those cats who fought a little bit too hard for their right.
Eugene Robinson: On the day before Super Bowl XXXIII in Miami, Falcons cornerback Eugene Robinson humbly accepted the Bart Starr Award, honoring his “high moral character.” A few hours later, he and his high moral character solicited a little somethin’ somethin’ from an undercover cop. Lucky for him, he got bailed out in time to start the game for the Falcons. Not so lucky for him, he got beat deep twice. See what happens?
Stanley Wilson: The night before Super Bowl XXIII, Cincinnati Bengals fullback, Stanley Wilson, forgot his playbook. Well sir, we were going to this bingo parlor at the YMCA, well one thing led to another, and the instructions got all fouled up… That nonsense may have worked for Dewey Oxberger, not so much for our boy Stanley. The Bengals waited for Stanley Wilson. Ten minutes. Fifteen minutes. No Stanley. Stanley was snorting cocaine. Stanley was smoking cocaine. Stanley was found in the bathroom of his room at the Holiday Inn sweating and shivering, his nose and upper lip caked in flake, Ashy Larry style. See what happens?
Max McGee: What? You thought this junk never happened in the good ole days? Sunday, Monday happy days? Sure it did. It happened in the very first Super Bowl. It happened to Max McGee. Back in 1966 the Green Bay Packers recorded a 12-2 record and advanced to Super Bowl I against the Kansas City Chiefs. McGee was old by then. Didn’t expect to play by then. Got knock down roaring drunk by then. The next day he said to his teammate Boyd Dowler, “I hope you don’t get hurt. I’m not in very good shape.” Of course Dowler went down with a separated shoulder on the Packers’ second drive of the game. McGee went on to make a spectacular one-handed grab and ran thirty-seven yards straight to the hizzouse. Straight to the hizzouse for the first touchdown in Super Bowl history. How about that? See what happens?
Barrett Robbins: I understand the man had troubles. Big troubles. With a capital T and that rhymes with B and that stands for bipolar. But still. He was in Tijuana, he wasn’t in Tijuana. Who knows? What we do know is, he was getting smooshed the day before the big game. What we do know is, he missed a team meeting. What we do know is, he was removed from the team for the Super Bowl. Raiders left guard Mo Collins: “Too much bad tequila. … Whatever rock he came up from, he can stay there as far as I’m concerned.” See what happens?
Ray Lewis: I know, I know. This happened after the Super Bowl. I don’t care. When a man is charged with murder, it’s making the list. Cobalt Lounge. Atlanta, Georgia. Two men are stabbed. Two men died. Six men fled in a black Lincoln Navigator stretch limousine, firing at least five gunshots as they drove away. One of those men was allegedly Ray Lewis. Paul Tagliabue: “Can we separate ourselves from society? Of course not. We can’t predict what NFL players will do any more than we can predict students shooting other students or workers shooting fellow workers.” What would Roger Goodell have said? See what happens?
Public Spectacle:
Peace out homies. Six two and Even!
Need More? Atlanta Falcons,Baltimore Ravens,Cincinnati Bengals,Green Bay Packers,NFL,Oakland Raiders,Ray Lewis
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