Dexter McCluster And The Little All Stars

I wish I was little bit taller.  I wish I was a baller.  I wish I had a girl who looked good, I would call her.  -Skee Lo

Public Service Announcement: Ok, here we go!  Ole Miss’ Dexter McCluster is 5′8″.  Ole Miss’ Dexter McCluster is 165 lbs soaking wet.  Ole Miss’ Dexter McCluster has just carved himself out a legendary senior season down in the SEC.  Carved himself out a legendary senior season ever since Houston Nutt came to him before the Arkansas game and told him they were moving him back to running back full time.  The rest, as they say, is history.  He flirted with 300 yards against Tennessee.  He is just 15 rushing and 25 receiving yards shy of becoming the first player in SEC history to have a thousand rushing and 500 receiving yards in a season. He has one more game to reach the milestone.  He’ll have that ome more game in the Cotton Bowl. 

Dexter MccCluster got my one, two, three, four, five senses working overtime.  Dexter McCluster got me to thinking.  Got me to drinking.  Got me to thinking and drinking and come up with this.  Little giants.  Little big men.  My favorite little guys in sports.

Freddy Patek:  Little Freddie. The Flea.  Moochie.  I remember him as a Royal.  He played for the Pirates.  He played for the Angels.  But Ican only picture him those baby blues.  Had a glove like Crazy Glue.  Catchy as the Asian flu.  Patek was a three-time All-Star.  Patek led the league in triples.  Get the papers, get the papers, get the papers.  Patek led the league in stolen bases.  He became the second shortstop, after Mr. Baseball himself, to hit three home runs in a single game.  Whitey Herzog called Freddy the best artificial turf shortstop he ever managed.  Ranked him even higher than the Wizard of Oz.  Wow!  Better than Ozzie Smith!  Now that’s saying something.  That’s saying a lot.  That’s saying a mouthful. 

Freddy had an arm.  A big arm.  A giant arm.  Freddy could throw across the diamond from the hole at a velocity of around 95 mph.  Yowza!  My posse come quickly ’cause my posse got velocity.  I’ll forever remember Patek making his famous, often imitated, never duplicated, patented, bare-handed double plays.  Talent, pure unadulterated talent. 

Mini Mac Herron:  Only 5′-51/2″, but he packed 150 pounds of muscle and twenty pounds of sideburns into that frame.  Because of his height, he wasn’t recruited heavily.  Instead, he played for the Hutchinson (Kan.) Junior College Blue Dragons.  There, he won the national Juco 100-yard dash title.  Fast.  Lightning fast.  A sonic blast.  Unsurpassed. 

Then, he began to come into his own at Kansas State.  Mama, I’m a big boy now.  He rushed for 506 yards is junior year while topping the Big Eight in receiving with fifty-two catches.  Mini Mac was the nation’s second leading college scorer behind Oklahoma’s and the Detroit Lions’ Steve Owens. 

Mini Mac got drafted by the Falcons.  Norm Van Brocklin hated him.  Two snaps in a circle.  Toiled in Canada.  While playing for the Winnipeg Blue Bombers, he won the Eddie James Memorial Trophy for being the leading rusher in the CFL’s West Division.  Then the Patriots found him. 

In two seasons Herron became one of the country’s best all around football players.  He broke Gale Sayers’ total offense record.  You break a Gale Sayers single season record, you’re playing some football.  He wasn’t just the best of the little men, he was the best all around player in the game.  In a sport of giants, Mack Herron has held his ground.  Unfortunately, Mac found drugs.  The running gag was “Mini Mac Heroin.”  Truly a shame.

Martin St. Louis:  I know.  You wanted the Pocket Rocket.  You wanted Henri Richard.  I never saw him play.  I’ve seen St. Louis play. 

• I saw him play for the University of Vermont Catamounts where he was an NCAA all-star. 
• I saw him play for the Tampa Bay Lightning. 
• I saw him score an overtime goal in Game Six of the Stanley Cup Finals. 
• I saw that goal help the Lightning beat the Calgary Flames for the Cup.  The Stanley Cup.  The Holy Grail.   Lord Stanley’s Mug.  
• I saw him win the Hart Memorial Trophy as the MVP.  MVP!  MVP!  MVP! 
• I saw him win the Lester B. Pearson Award as league MVP voted by his peers. 
• I saw him become became the first player since Wayne Gretzky, the Great One, blessed be he, become only the eighth player in NHL history to win the Art Ross Trophy, the Stanley Cup, and the Hart Memorial Trophy all in one season. 

No one was interested in St. Louis on draft day.  No one was interested because he was listed at 5-9 and 185 pounds, but is more likely closer to 5-7 and 175.  Think they’re interested in him now?

Nate Archibald:  How can a guy named Tiny not be in this.  Penetration.  Best in the Nation.  Taking over the entire National Basketball Association.  Taking it by storm.  Tiny was quick.  Tiny could go to the hole.  Tiny could pass.  Tiny could shoot.  Triple threat.  Triple Trouble.  Mesmerizing.  Tantalizing.  Captivating.  Devastating. 

Archibald led the NBA in scoring and assists in the same season.  Yup both.  The first and only player ever to win the titles in both categories in the same year.  Get the papers, get the papers.  The original playground king.  Rucker Park.  Before the Goat.  Before the Helicopter.  Before Skip to My Loo.  Before Swee’ Pea.  Before the Destroyer.  Before the Grim Reaper.  Before all of them.  DeWitt Clinton.  UTEP.  Cincinnati Royals.  Boston Celtics.  Championship.  Hall of Fame.

Diego Maradona:  To millions of crazed, hooligan soccer fans all around this nutty world of ours, Diego Maradona is considered one the greatest players of all time.  Now, soccer doesn’t usually make me rhyme.  But this cat was so sublime.  So sublime that I have nothin’ but love for him baby.  I know he has lots a jewels and stuff.  Backyards with swimming pools, bar with stools and stuff.  But, lovin’, is what I got, I said remember that. 

I cannot think of any other soccer player who dominated the game like this cat done did.  He single handedly made Argentina champions in 1986.  He single handedly took Italian Club Napoli to the top of the Eye-talian football and European Football leagues.  I never really got to see Pele, but this little fella was something else.

Public Spectacle:

Peace out homies. Six two and Even!

Need More? Boston Celtics, Dexter McCluster, Diego Maradona, Freddy Patek, Kansas City Royals, MLB, Mac Herron, Martin St. Louis, NBA, NCAA, NCAA FB, NFL, NHL, Nate Archibald, New England Patriots, Ole Miss, Tampa Bay Lightning, soccer