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I guess I’ll die another day. I think I’ll find another way. There’s so much more to know. I guess I’ll die another day. -Madonna
Public Service Announcement: Ok, here we go! What’s crack-a-lacking sports fans? Week eleven, over and done with. Week eleven, so much fun with. Week eleven, all that and a hamburger bun with. Like my man man Tom Landry always says, “Football is an incredible game. Sometimes it’s so incredible, it’s unbelievable.” Let’s see what was so incredible about it. Let’s see what was so incredible it was unbelievable about it. Shall we? Sure we shall.
Undefeated. Can’t be beated. Some guy pee their name in the snow, these guys pee their names in the concreted. The Saints and the Colts. The Colts and the Saints. We go together like rama lama lama ke ding a de dinga a dong. Remembered for ever like shoo bop shoo wadda wadda yipitty boom de boom. The Saints and the Colts each extended their start-of-season winning streaks to 10 games. Yowza! For those of you keeping score at home, that makes this only the third of the NFL’s 90 seasons in which two teams have started 10-0. For those of you keeping score at home, it first happened in 1934, when both the Bears and the Lions started that way, and then didn’t happen again until 1990, when the Giants and the 49ers both did it.
Rookie rookie, who gets the cookie? Matty, that’s who. Matty’s the big winner. Matty wins. Matty Ice? No, that was last year. This year it’s Matty Stafford. This year, Matty Stafford did something Matty Ice never done did. In fact, this year, Matty Stafford did something what no rookie ever done did. Yesterday, Matthew Stafford, the 21-year-old rookie, the Hope of Detroit, threw for 422 yards and five touchdown passes. Hooray Matthew Stafford! Big deal you say? Who cares you say? I say that’s an NFL record for most passing yards by a rookie. I say he broke the mark of 405 yards by Matt Leinart, set in a loss to the Vikings, three years ago. But wait! Don’t touch that dial! I also say those five TD passes tied the NFL’s single-game record for touchdown passes by a rookie. I say that record was set by 22-year-old Buzz Buivid for the Bears in a win over the Chicago Cardinals at Wrigley Field in the final game of the 1937 season. One more. Stafford is also the first player in NFL history either to throw for 400 yards in a game or to toss five touchdown passes in a game prior to his 22nd birthday. Oh, to be young again.
From the young to the old. Something old, something new, something borrowed something….purple. It was a one-eyed, one-horned, flyin’ purple people eater. It was Brett Favre. For Brett Favre it was just another day with a another couple of new NFL records. We’re talking brand spanking new. We’re not talking about records that he already owns and merely extended. We’re talking about sharking. We’re not talkin‘ ’bout pleasure boatin’ or day sailin’. We’re talkin‘ ’bout workin’ for livin.’ I’m taking what they giving, ’cause I’m working for a livin’. Brett Favre is working for a living. Yesterday, Brett Favre threw 22 of 25 passes for four touchdowns in the Vikings win over Seattle. It was his 22nd game with four-or-more touchdown passes. It snapped Dan Marino’s mark of 21. It also was second game this season in which Favre has completed at least 85 percent of his passes, and he became the first player in the history of the NFL to have two such games in a single season. How about that?
Everybody loves the lunch pail folks. The guys who can take a punch pail folks. Not the eggs benedict at brunch pail folks. That’s why we here at JQP Productions love us some Wes Welker. Yesterday, Welker had 15 receptions for the Patriots in their victory over the crying Jets. Yesterday, Weker had seven receptions that produced first downs. Yesterday, Welker had no receptions that resulted in a touchdown. Just so you know, that matched the highest single-game reception total in NFL history by a player who was held scoreless while his team won. In 1984, the elder Kellen Winslow had 15 receptions but no points in the Chargers’ 34-28 win over the Packers.
Like my main men the Jam always say, “It doesn’t matter if we never meet again. What we have said will always remain. If we get through for two minutes only,it will be a start!” It was quite a start for Bears running back Kahlil Bell. Quite an auspicious start. Clyde Frazier style. Yestderday, Bell ran 72 yards on his first NFL carry to set up a second-quarter field goal for the Bears. It was the longest run on a player’s first NFL carry since Alan The Horse Ameche went 79 yards for a score for the Colts against the Bears to keynote a 23-17 victory in 1955. Bell’s run was the Bears’ longest run from scrimmage in their last 9,004 rushing plays, since Neal Anderson ran for 73 yards against the Packers on Dec. 17, 1989. What’s this kid gonna do for an encore?
Brass Bonanza:
Maybe you didn’t hear about it, you’ve been away a long time. They didn’t go up there and tell you. They didn’t go up there and tell you the Brass Bonanza Award is given to Sunday’s biggest loser. Brass Bonanza was the Hartford Whalers fight song. Need I say more?
This week’s Brass Bonanza goes to the Pittsburgh Steelers. The Steel Curtain no more. For the eighth consecutive game, the Steelers allowed a return touchdown. Egads man! That eight-game streak sets an unwanted NFL record breaking the mark of seven games by the Redskins over the 1946 and 1947 seasons. Furthermore, It was the Steelers’ fourth loss this season, and they have blown a second-half lead in each one. You ain’t going to Disney World like that. Hey Steelers, this Brass Bonanza’s for you:
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Peace out homies. Six two and Even!
Need More? Brett Favre, Chicago Bears, Detroit Lions, Indianapolis Colts, Khalil Bell, Matthew Stafford, Minnesota Vikings, NFL, New England Patriots, New Orleans Saints, Pittsburgh Steelers, Wes Welker
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