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NFL: The Day After

By: josh q. public on: Monday, November 9, 2009 @12:40 pm

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They say that all good things must end.  Call it tonight, the party’s over, and tomorrow starts the same old thing again.  -Willie Nelson 

Public Service Announcement:  Ok, here we go!  Another Sunday down.  Down Goes Frazier!  Down Goes Frazier!  Down Goes Frazier!  I get knocked down but I get up again.  You’re never going to keep me down.  That’s right, I’m getting up to write down what happened yesterday on ye olde gridiron.  Let’s have us a look see, shall we?  Sure we shall.          

Falco may tell you not turn around, uh oh, but don’t tell that to Kurt Warner.  I mean, he doesn’t have book out called Can’t Keep Him Down for nothing.  Just one week after throwing five interceptions in a loss to the Panthers, Chachi in Charge threw five touchdowns in the Cardinals’ 41-21 victory at Chicago.  Hooray Kurt Warner!  Warner’s only other 5-TD game came more than 10 years ago, on Oct. 10, 1999 against the 49ers.  That broke Brett Favre’s NFL record for longest gap between games with at least five touchdown passes by a margin of four weeks.  How about that?  How about this:  Warner also became the second player ever to throw four first-half touchdown passes against the Bears.  Just two short weeks after Carson Palmer became the first.  Now, if only the Cardinals could win at home.

Michael Turner.  Turner the Burner.  The point of no returner.  Yards he does a-churner.  Yesterday, Michael Turner churned out two touchdowns.  Get the papers, get the papers.  Two touchdowns on runs of 30 and 58 yards in the Falcons’ 31-17 win over the Redskins.  Yowza!  Know this stat geeks:  Turner became the first player in team history with two rushing TDs of 30 yards or longer in the same game.  In fact, only one Falcons player had two rushing TDs of even 20 yards in the same game.  Wait for it, wait for it.  That’s right, Garfield’s favorite quarterback, Michael Vick, did it against the Vikings back in 2002.

Holy Dynamic Duo, Batman.  Forget Montana and Rice.  Forget Namath and Maynard.  Forget Manning and Harrison.  Forget Unitas and Berry.  Forget Bradshaw and Swann.  Forget all of them.  Brady and Moss.  Moss and Brady.  They go together like rama lama lama ka dinga da dinga dong.  Remembered forever as shoobop sha wadda wadda yippity boom de boom.  Like they’ve been doing it years.  Rockin’ their peers and puttin’ suckas in fear.  Makin’ the tears rain down like a monsoon.  Yesterday, Randy Moss caught a 71-yard touchdown pass from Tom Brady in the Patriots’ 27-17 win over the Dolphins.  Of all of the wonderful things they does, they never done doesed that.  That was Moss’ longest TD reception from Tom Brady.  If I were a betting man, I’d bet there’s more of that to come.

Cedric the Entertainer keeps on keepin’ on.  Last month, Cedric Benson broke a streak of 39 straight games the Ravens defense hadn’t allowed a running back to rush for more than 100 yards.  Yesterday, he did it for the second time in a month.  Not only that, he became only the second player to record two 100-yard rushing games against the Ravens in one season.  Good golly Miss Molly!  The second after Jerome Bettis.  But the Bus was so nice, he did it twice.

Rookie rookie, who gets the cookie?  Joshy, that’s who.  Joshy’s the big winner. Joshy wins.  No, not me.  Josh Freeman.  Yesterday, in all his Creamsicle orange glory, Tampa Bay Buccaneer rookie quarterback Josh Freeman threw three touchdown passes in his first NFL start to lead the Bucs (1-7) to their first win of the season.  Sweet sassy molassy!  The last rookie QB to start and win for a team with at least seven losses and no victories was the imitable Mike McMahon for the Lions in 2001.  See what Bucs fans have to look forward to?

Like my men Run DMC always say, “I got prescription glasses and my eyes are correct.  Two times every year I go to have them checked.  Per-fection’s my selection, and I will select, and if it’s not perfect, I will perfect.”  The New Orleans Saints didn’t look perfect yeserday for most of the afternoon, but they did perfect by game’s end.  Their rally from a 14-0 deficit to improve their record to 8-0 put them with only two other teams in NFL history.  Only the 1998 Chiefs and the 1984 Dolphins maintained a perfect record this far into a season by winning a game in which they trailed by 14 or more points.  This Saints team is better than both of those teams.

Before I start this one you must know, my favorite non-Patriot player of all time is the Tyler Rose.  My favorite non-Patriot player of all time is Earl Campbell.  That’s why this stat just jumped off the page for me.  Yesterday, Chris Johnson gained 135 rushing yards in the Titans’ 34-27 win at San Francisco.  Big deal you say?  Who cares you say?  I say, combined with his 228 yards against the Jaguars last week, Johnson posted the highest two-game rushing total by an Oilers/Titans player since Earl Campbell gained 368 rushing yards over two games in October 1981.  I say, you get your name mentioned in the same sentence as Earl Campbell, you’re doing something.  You’re doing something special.

Brass Bonanza:

That’s right, back by popular demand, it’s the Brass Bonanza Award.  Just in case you didn’t know.  Maybe you didn’t hear about it, you’ve been away a long time.  They didn’t go up there and tell you.  They didn’t go up there and tell you the Brass Bonanza Award is given Sunday’s biggest loser.  Brass Bonanza was the Hartford Whalers fight song.  Need I say more?

This week we proudly award the Brass Bonanza to the New York Football Giants.  In less than two minutes, in front of a stunned Giants Stadium crowd, the Giants managed to turn what looked like a rousing, season-saving victory into an agonizing, heartbreaking and absolutely devastating 21-20 loss to the San Diego Chargers.  That’s bad.  That’s really bad.  That’s Brass Bonanza bad.

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Peace out homies.  Six two and Even!

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