NBA Preseason Awards

I like Slam dunks take me to the hoop.  My favorite play is the alley oop.  I like the pick-and-roll, I like the give-and-go.  Cause it’s basketball, uh, Mister Kurtis Blow.  -Kurtis Blow

Public Service Announcement:  Ok, here we go!  NBA action.  NBA satisfaction.  NBA coming attractions.  It’s finally here.  Fantastic!  I love this game!  Yes fans, the NBA season is upon us.  Like my main man the Big Fundamental always says:  “Good, better, best.  Never let it rest.  Until your good is better and your better is best.”  Who’s good?  Who’s better?  Who’s best?         

The Carl Spackler Prize:  Cinderella story.  Outta nowhere. A former greenskeeper, now, about to become the Masters champion.  It looks like a mirac…It’s in the hole!  It’s in the hole!  It’s in the hole!  This year’s Carl Spackler trophy goes to the Memphis Grizzlies.  I know the Grizz have had three horrible years in a row.  I also know that horribleness allowed rookies OJ Mayo, Marc Gasol and Darrell Arthur to gain valuable run.  Throw in Allen Iverson.  Throw in Zach Randolph.  Throw in Rudy Gay.  Throw in big man coach kareem Abdul Jabbar.  What do you get.  You know what you get.  You get a contender.

Michael Jordan Award:  Given to the best basketball player on the planet.  Given to LeBron James.  We’ve all been sitting around waiting for the next Michael Jordan.  Begging for the next Michael Jordan.  We’ve all been sitting around the Eastern Gate waiting and begging for the next Michael Jordan to come along, riding in on his white horse, and perform many great signs and wonders.  The wait is over.  I’ve seen the future of basketball and its name is LeBron James.

Butch Van Breda Koff Cup:  Butch lasted sixteen days as Suns head coach in 1972.  Seven games in all.  Byron Scott may last a little longer than that.  A little longer.  A guy like CP3 is gonna win you some ball games and bide you some time.  Unfortunately, all by his lonesome, Emeka Okafer be damned, CP3 is not gonna win enough ball games for the Hornets to return to a place among the Western Conference elite.  Unfortunately, he will only be able to muster just enough ball games to earn Byron Scott the distinction as the first coach fired this season.

Clearasil Cup:  Breakout performer of the year.  Clearasil may cause confidence.  So mayn’t Big Al Jefferson.  I do love me some Big Al Jefferson.  Ever since he left my beloved Celtics, I’ve been all Jack Byrnes.  Yup, I’ve got my eyes on him.  I like what I see.  I didn’t like the All Star snub, but that’s another story for another day.  This is a story for today.  I gotta la la la la la la live for today.  Big Al lives for today.  He’s gonna live for tomorrow too.

The Jesus Christ Grail:  Redeemer.  Savior.  Deliverer.   Struck me kinda funny.  Seems kinda funny sir to me.  At the end of every hard earned day people find some reason to believe.  I believed in Blake Griffin.  That was before he cracked his kneecap.  Now I believe in Brandon Jennings.  What separates Jennings from the rest are his  playmaking instincts.  His all day making instincts.  His putting on a display making instincts.  His talent and creativity with the ball are extraordinary.   He sees the floor and is capable of making incredibly difficult passes look easy.  He will not bring a championship to Milwaukee, however, he will bring some excitement there, and that is something Bucks fans have been sorely lacking.

Eng and Chang Trophy:  Eng and Chang, the most famous conjoined twins of all time. LeBron James and Shaquille O’Neal.  Heck LeBron James and me could win this award.  But Shaq Daddy?  Goodness!  Greatness.  Shaq Daddy says  now he has the best running mate ever.  Shaq Daddy says now he’s on the best team ever.  I say one out of two ain’t bad.  However, I also say, while these Cavs are not the greatest team ever, with the addition the Big Samurai, they just made themselves a whole heck of a lot better.  A whole heck of a lot.

Gene Autry Crown:  I’m back in the saddle again.  Out where a friend is a friend.  Where the longhorn cattle feed on the lowly gypsum weed.  Back in the saddle again.  The Boston Celtics are back in the saddle again.  The Big Three.  The Big Three with that championship pedigree.  You can call me a homer.  A shameless homer.  An incorrigible homer.  An unabashed, unblushing homer.  Doh!  I don’t care.  All I know is, Kevin Garnett is back.  Back in the back of a Cadillac.  Number one with a bullet, he’s a power pack.  As long as KG stays healthy, nobody beats these Celtics.  Nobody.

Twinkle Toes Flintstone Ribbon:  No not Mark Cuban.  Twinkle Toes was a bowler.  Chris Paul.  He says his bowling scores average between 180 and 190, but he has a high game of 256.  He hosts a charity bowling tournament each September in his hometown of Winston-Salem, N.C.  One of the league’s top young players, Paul was recently named a spokesman for the U.S. Bowling Congress.  Chris Barnes, watch your back.  Yabba dabba doo!

Public Spectacle:

 [pro-player width='455' height='253' type='video']http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GgcetaNH_48[/pro-player]

Peace out homies. Six two and Even!

Need More? Al Jefferson, Allen Iverson, Boston Celtics, Brandon Jennings, Cleveland Cavaliers, Kevin Garnett, LeBron James, Memphis Grizzlies, Milwaukee Bucks, Minnesota Timberwolves, NBA, New Orleans Hornets, Shaquille O'Neal