2009 MLB Playoffs

Down…The paint is peelin’.  Now…When the chips are down.  Down…You gotta lose all feelin’.  Now…when the chips are down.  Down…Your head goes round ‘n’ round.  -Terror Squad

Public Service Announcement:  OK, here we go!  Archibald Wright Graham once asked if there was enough magic out there in the moonlight to make this dream come true?  Yes there is, Archie.  Yes there is.  There always is.  The 200 men representing eight cities in these here playoffs will create enough magic to make all our dreams true.     

MLB baseball.  MLB Playoff baseball.  It’s why we hung around so long. 

• We hung around so long to hear stuff like:  There’s a long drive… It’s gonna be, I believe….. The Giants win the pennant!  The Giants win the pennant!  The Giants win the pennant!  The Giants win the pennant! WAHOO!  Bobby Thomson hits into the lower deck, of the left field stands!  The Giants win the pennant, and they’re goin’ crazy! They’re goin’ crazy! Heeeey-oh!  
• We hung around so long to hear stuff like:  Back to the wall goes Berra… it is… over the fence! Home run!  The Pirates win. 
• We hung around so long to hear stuff like:  Ortiz into deep right field, back is Sheffield, we’ll see you later tonight!  
• We hung around so long to hear stuff like:  Deep right field, way back! Cotto going back to the wall…it’s gone!!!  Home run Garvey, and there will be tomorrow!”
• We hung around so long to hear stuff like:  The 1-0 delivery to Puckett, right down the middle… Deep to left center! Way back, way back, it’s gone! Touch ‘em all, Kirby Puckett! Touch ‘em all!”
• We hung around so long to hear stuff like:  The 3-1 from Broxton…a TOWERING drive into DEEP right field, Ethier looks up, that ball is way outta here! A two-run home run for Matthew Stairs, and this Phightin bunch of Phils has taken a 7-5 lead here at Chavez Ravine in front of a stunned crowd!

What kind of stuff are we gonna hear this year?

Twins v. Yankees:  As much as it pains me to say it, this one is all New York.  Their offense features seven hitters who have at least 20 home runs.   They have a bonafide  ace and a closer that nobody wants to hit against.  Barring a complete collapse, New York should march on into the next round unscathed.

Red Sox v. Angels:  I am a homer.  A shameless homer.  An incorrigible homer.  I bleed Red Sox red.  I’m a Red Sox born, I’m a Red Sox bred.  And when I die, I’m a Red Sox dead.  I am all of that, so it should be no surprise who I’m picking here.  The Sox have the best pitching staff in these here playoffs.  Like the man says, “Pitching wins championships.” Like the man says, “You’re only as good as your next starter.”  He should have said next three starters.  Three is a magic number.  Yes it is, it’s a magic number.  Somewhere in the ancient, mystic trinity, you get three as a magic number.  The Red Sox next three starters are Josh Boom Boom Beckett, Big Jon Lester and Dice-K Matsuzaka, he’s gy-ro-mite!

Dodgers v. Cardinals:  Everybody’s going Cardianls here.  Everybody’s going Cardinals here and beyond.  Not me.  I’m going blue.  Dodger blue that is.  Swimmin’ pools, movie stars.  Y’all come back now, y’hear?  Come back to see Manny being Manny.  In the post season, that doesn’t mean what you think it means.  In the post season it means flat out raking.  Good times.  Manny rakes.  Bad times.  Manny rakes.  Business bad?  Fuck you, pay me.  Oh, you had a fire?  Fuck you, pay me.  Place got hit by lightning huh?  Fuck you, pay me.  That’s what Manny being Manny is really all about.  You do the Hokey Pokey and you turn yourself around.  That’s what it’s all about!

Phillies v. Rockies:  The Colorado Rockies may just be the hottest team in the National League but I got my money on the F@%king World Champions.  I got my money on the Philadelphia Phillies.  The Phillies have an American League line-up going against National League pitching.  Men against boys my friends.  Men against boys.

Peace out homies.  Six two and Even!

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