Brett Favre & Roger Clemens

We go together like rama lama lama ke ding a de dinga a dong.  Remembered for ever like shoo bop shoo wadda wadda yipitty boom de boom.  -Grease

Public Service Announcement:  Ok, here we go!  I know, I know, not another Brett Favre article.  But alas, yes, another Brett Favre article.  Last night I did what I do most Monday nights, I watched Monday Night Football while Twittering.  Quite an entertaining endeavor if you follow the right people.  I follow the right people.  I follow @macg_og.  @macg_og is a Packer fan.  He’s angry at Brett Favre.  I understand completely.  I was once a Roger Clemens fan.     

Now I’m sure every fan of every city has there own Brett Favre.  In a way, each of us has an El Guapo to face.  For some, shyness might be their El Guapo.  For others, a lack of education might be their El Guapo.  For us, El Guapo is a big, dangerous man who wants to kill us.  But as sure as my name is Lucky Day, the people of Santa Poco can conquer their own personal El Guapo, who also happens to be the actual El Guapo!  Roger Clemens was my El Guapo just like Brett Favre is @macg_og’s El Guapo.

@macg_og said, “Hey ESPN, Here is my Brett Favre memory, Dude stabbed me in my fan heart to willingly play for hated enemy out of spite, GO PACK GO!”  @macg_og said, “I was torn cuz Favre had lil legit beef with Ahole GM Ted Thompson handled it but Favre lied to his diehard fan base, Screw him.”  That’s exactly how I feel about Rocket Roger Clemens.

On March 4, 2008, Favre formally announced his retirement.  At his press conference, Favre openly wept, “I know I can play, but I don’t think I want to. And that’s really what it comes down to.”  As we all know, Packers general manager Ted Thompson later said he would not grant Favre an unconditional release  and reaffirmed the organization’s commitment to Aaron Rodgers as its new quarterback.  Favre ultimately returned to the NFL and made it his unyielding aim to stick it to the Packers thereby sticking it to Packers fans everywhere.

Sound familliar?  Back to Roger.  I hate him.  But know this too.  I hate him because I used to love him.  I used to love her, but I had to kill her.  Loved him more than all the rest.  Loved him more than Loni Anderson’s chest.  Loved him because he was the best.  He was the nastiest pitcher I ever saw.  He was the Boston Red Sox.  He was a machine.  A lean mean pitching machine.  Cy Young.  MVP.  Twenty Ks against the Mariners.  Twenty Ks against the Tigers.  Unbeatable.  Untouchable.  Indomitable.  Invincible. 

But then, suddenly, he became beatable.  Suddenly, he became touchable.  Suddenly, he became domitable.  Suddenly, he became vincible.  Suddenly Susan.  We could have forgiven that.  Like we forgave him for getting owned by Dave Stewart.  Like we forgave him for begging out of the ‘86 Series.  Like we forgave him for not wanting to carry his own luggage. 

He was one of us.  But he acted like he just didn’t care.  Showed up fat.  Showed up lazy.  We can dissect the numbers.  I don’t care.  He wasn’t the same Roger.  And worst of all, he was acting entitled.  Then he left.  He left mad.  Hopping mad.  All of a sudden, he cares again.  Twilight my ass!  Cy Young.  Cy Young.  Cy Young.  Cy Young. 

Worst of all, he went to the Yankees after vowing he never would.  Just like Brett Favre went to the Vikings.  There are some sins that we as fans view as unpardonable.  Clemens and Favre are the poster boys for such sins.

Public Spectacle:

Peace out homies.  Six two and even!

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