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NFL: The Day After

By: josh q. public on: Monday, October 5, 2009 @10:33 am

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Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away, now it looks as though they’re here to stay.  Oh, I believe in yesterday.  -The Beatles

Public Service Announcement:  Ok, here we go!  Woo doggie!  Another Sunday in the books.  Like that wild and crazy guy, Steve Martin, always says, “I believe in the Ten Commandments and going to church on Sundays…unless there’s a game on.”  There was a game on yesterday all right.  In fact, there were a bunch of them.  Let’s see what happened, shall we?  Sure we shall.    

  • The Chicago Bears have had a lot of quarterbacks over the years.  They’ve had guys like Jim McMahon.  They’ve had guys like Jim Harbaugh.  They’ve had guys like Bob Avellini, Erik Kramer, Bobby Douglass, Jack Concannon, and Rex Grossman.  Guys like that there started a total of 338 regular-season games for the Bears but their porridge was too cold.  Some like it hot.  Superstar Jay Cutler likes it hot.  Starting just his fourth game for the Bears, Superstar Jay Cutler led his team to a victory over the Lions.  Hooray Jay Cutler!  Cutler did in just his fourth game, what those aforementioned quarterbacks could not do in 338 games.  He scored a whopping 48 points.  Yowza!
  • Peyton Manning can handle things!  Peyton Manning’s smart!  Not like everybody says… like dumb… he’s smart and he wants respect!  I’m here to give it to him.  Yesterday was Manning’s fourth consecutive 300-yard game, an accomplishment that should not be overlooked.  None of the top three in career passing yardage, Brett Favre, Dan Marino, or John Elway, ever recorded four straight 300-yard games.  Fran Tarkenton, who ranks fifth in career yardage, never even posted two straight 300-yard games.  Manning’s father, Archie, had back-to-back 300-yard games only once in his career and his brother, Eli, has never recorded two in a row.  How about that?
  • Darrelle Revis who?  Horton hears a what?  Like my main Joe Jackson always says, “You gotta look sharp.”  This guy does one better.  This guy’s sharper.  This guy’s Darren Sharper.  New Orleans Saints’ Darren Sharper’s 99-yard interception return was his second INT-TD of at least 90 yards this season.  Holy cow!  How holy?  This holy:  The only other player in NFL history with two TDs on interception returns of 90 yards or longer in the same season was Deion Sanders.  Watch your back Deion, the season’s still young.
  • Sack attack!  Sack attack like a crackerjack.  Sack attack like a crackerjack leaving you holding your head with a big ol’ ice pack.  Lotta ice packs yesterday.  The Dolphins and Bills both recorded six sacks in Miami’s 38-10 victory.  It was the first NFL game in more than two years, and the first in the Dolphins’ 44-year history, in which both teams sacked opposing passers at least six times.
  • Home is where the heart is, home is so remote.  Home is just emotion sticking in my throat.  Home is hard to swallow, home is like a rock.  Home is good clean living, home is – I forgot.  Lene Lovich may have forgot but Tom Brady sure hasn’t.  The Patriots’ 27-21 win over the Ravens was the 15th consecutive regular-season home win for Brady, who posted 18 straight home wins from 2002 to 2005.  Over the last 60 seasons, no other quarterback has won 15 home starts in a row two different times.  Honorable mention to Terry Bradshaw and Steve Young, who both recorded streaks of 15 and 14 .

Brass Bonanza Award:

That’s right, back by popular demand, it’s the Brass Bonanza Award.  Just in case you didn’t know.  Maybe you didn’t hear about it, you’ve been away a long time.  They didn’t go up there and tell you.  They didn’t go up there and tell you the Brass Bonanza Award is given Sunday’s biggest loser.  Brass Bonanza was the Hartford Whalers fight song.  Need I say more?

This week we proudly award the Tennessee Titans.  Remember the Titans!  I mean, remember the Titans?  Remember when they were good?  I’m having a hard time doing just that.  The Titans fell to 0-4 with a 37-17 loss at Jacksonville. Tennessee, which posted a 13-3 record in 2008, is the first team to start a season 0-4 coming off a season with at least 13 wins since three teams did it over a four-year span from 1999 to 2002: the 2002 Rams, 1999 Broncos, and 1999 Falcons.  Hey Tennessee, this Brass Bonanza is for you!

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 Peace out homies.  Six two and Even!

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  1. 1

    you know got dam well who Darrelle Revis is! He's the guy who held Colston to 2 reception 33 yards and not nary a TD. He's also part of the defense that held Brees to 190 with Nary a TD.

    Just for the record, never was on the Sanchez Wagon.

    Worst call I ever did see, you know got dam well what I'm talkin bout willis, I wise man said, think it was a former DB , Take the Dress off of Tom Brady. I'd have to agree. Bad Bad Call!!!

  2. 2

    i know what rodney said. i say this: Tom Brady is back bitch!