Stupid Nicknames Need to GO AWAY!

The whole First letter of first name+ First syllable of last name= Nickname needs to stop now.

Example: A-Rod a.k.a. Alex Rodriguez.

It's All Your Fault

I was watching Cardinals highlights a while back and one of the Sports Center anchors referred to Albert Pujols as A-Pu. That’s it. That’s the final straw. You really want to refer to someone with a synonym for shit?!  God I hope not. That’s why the formula I previously mentioned needs to be banned from sports writing and sports vernacular permanently.

Here’s another one: Right when Victor Martinez was traded to the Red Sox, somebody on NESN thought it was a good idea to use the dreaded formula to re-name him V-Mart.  UNACCEPTABLE!  This is the guy who’s going to be the Red Sox backstop for the next 10 years and he’s stuck with this crappy nickname.  Somebody get creative and come up with something clever…please?  I’m begging you.

It wasn’t always this bad though. Writers and teammates used to come up with good nicknames for players back in the day.  Peculiar names.  Funny names.  Strange names, pet names. Names like “The Chief” Robert Parish.

Former teammate Cedric Maxwell nicknamed Parrish the Chief after the character Chief Bromden in the film One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest. Maxwell said it was Parish’s serious nature that reminded him of Chief Bromden. Look at this guy, he’s looks pretty damn serious to me. So calling him The Chief is pretty fitting.

But there is some hope for the new generation of Sports fans. There are a couple guys who are pretty creative in coming up with some nicknames for themselves. I know that some people believe that you can’t give yourself a nickname but these guys did and it works out pretty well. First up, Nate Robinson.

Nate Robinson is a PG for the New York Knicks. What sets him apart from other PGs is that he can dunk. I’m not talking barely reaching the rim, fairy, WNBA dunks. No. I’m talking rim rocking Dunk Contest winning dunks.  He won the competition in 2006 in Houston by beating Andre Iguodala in a Dunk-Off. In 2009, he returned to the Dunk Contest to square off against 2008 champion, Dwight Howard. Howard earned the nickname “Superman” when he donned a Superman shirt and cape and dunk from the foul line to win the title. Everyone knows Superman’s only weakness is Kryptonite, so here’s what Robinson came up with:

Robinson gets decked out in Green for the final round. He has Nike make him the special KryptoNate shoes and he breaks out the green ball to dunk OVER Dwight Howard. That’s creative. Ofcourse when the Knicks went to market KryptoNate, Marvel intervened and said it was trademark infringement but Robinson still calls himself KryptoNate and so do his fans so I think Marvel will cave sooner or later.

That’s it kids. So let’s get creative, stop with the stupid formula and come up with some funny nicknames. Later

Need More? Albert Pujols,Alex Rodriguez,Nate Robinson,Robert Parrish