Boom! Shake, shake, shake the room. Tick, tick, tick, tic, BOOM! -Fresh Prince & DJ Jazzy Jeff
Public Service Announcement: OK, here we go! NFL Action. NFL Smacktion. NFL Satisfaction. Like my main man, the Voice of God, John Facenda, always says: “Professional football in America is a special game, a unique game, played nowhere else on Earth. It is a rare game. The men who play it make it so.” Tom Brady and Randy Moss make it so.
For just the third time since Jets‘ linebacker Mo Lewis delivered that bone-crushing hit to Drew Bledsoe in week 2 of the 2001 season, the New England Patriots were not in the AFC Championship game. For just the third time since Jets’ linebacker Mo Lewis delivered that bone-crushing hit to Drew Bledsoe in week 2 of the 2001 season I didn’t have horse in the race. Without a dream in my heart. Without a love of my own. I didn’t like it. I didn’t like it one bit.
When Bernard Pollard took out Brady’s knee, he took away all those hopes and dreams. This one, this one right here. This was my dream, my wish. And it didn’t come true. So I’m taking it back. I’m taking them all back. Wait, I don’t need to. Tom Brady and Randy Moss will take them back for me.
News out of Foxborough, is Tom Brady is zipping passes from 10 yards. News out of Foxborough is that Tom Brady is lofting softer ones from 25 and showed no sign that his shoulder hurt. Hooray Tom Brady! News out of Foxborough is, the New England Patriots are once again the paving the road to glory.
Holy Dynamic Duo, Batman. Forget Montana and Rice. Forget Namath and Maynard. Forget Manning and Harrison. Forget Unitas and Berry. Forget Bradshaw and Swann. Forget all of them. Brady and Moss. Moss and Brady. They go together like rama lama lama ka dinga da dinga dong. Remembered forever as shoobop sha wadda wadda yippity boom de boom. Like they’ve been doing it years. Rockin’ their peers and puttin’ suckas in fear. Makin’ the tears rain down like a monsoon.
Maybe you forgot. Maybe you forgot that on December 29, 2007, the Patriots defeated the New York Giants 38–35, finishing their season all up in Mercury Morris’ neighborhood. Maybe you forgot Randy Moss caught two touchdown passes for a total of 23 season catches, breaking the single season record of 22 touchdown catches previously set by Jerry Rice. Yowza! You break a Jerry Rice record, you’re doing something. Doing something big.
Maybe you forgot about Tom Terrific too. When there is trouble, I’m there on the double. From Atlantic to Pacific, they know Tom Terrific! Maybe you forgot on the same play, Tom Terrific broke a certain ix-five, 230-pound quarterback with a laser rocket arm’s single season record of 49 touchdowns set in 2004 with his 50th touchdown. Maybe you didn’t hear about it, you’ve been away a long time. They didn’t go up there and tell you.
Well sports fans, I’m here to remind you. I’m here to remind you they’re back. I’m here to remind you Brady and Moss back together can mean only one thing. It don’t mean a thing, if you ain’t got that ring. Do wop, do wop, do wop, do wah!
Peace out homies. Six two and Even!