Pirates Have Bad Case Of The Monthlies

Because mutiny on the bounty’s what we’re all about.  I’m gonna board your ship and turn it on out.  No soft sucker with a parrot on his shoulder.  ‘Cause I’m bad gettin’ bolder , cold getting colder.  -Beastie Boys

Public Service Announcement:  Ok, here we go!  Are you like Gomer Pyle?  Are you surprised, surprised, surprised?  Of course you’re not.  How could you be?  How could you be surprised that a team that has traded away practically all of its major league talent could be playing this badly?  How badly?  I’m glad you asked.  Last night, the Pirates had nine hits while downing the Nationals.   Arrrghhhh!  Not so fast there Blue Beard.  Even with those nine hits, Pittsburgh had a paltry .225 batting average during the month of July.  Egads man!  That was the lowest batting average that the Pirates have had in a month of 25-or-more games since the 1998 team batted .215 in 27 games in September.  Prior to that, you would have to go back to the legendarily poor 1952 Pirates, who batted .221 in May and then .223 in June!  Like my main Jack Sparrow always says, “I can’t bring this ship into Tortuga all by me onesies, savvy?”

Peace out homies.  Six two and Even!

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