Beckham: You Wanna Be My Latex Salesman?

Don’t you know promises were never made to keep?  Just like the night, dissolve in sleep.  I’ll be your savior, steadfast and true.  I’ll come to your emotional rescue.  -Rolling Stones

Public Service Announcement:  Ok, here we go!  This is the guy who was supposed to save soccer in America.  This is the guy who was supposed to do what Pele, Franz Beckenbauer, Carlos Alberto, Giorgio Chinaglia and the Cosmos could not.  The soccer messiah.  Bending it in a soccer stadium near you.  Like Joltin Joe DiMaggio a nation turned its lonely eyes to you.  Woo hoo hoo.  Woo hoo hoo.  Now, not so much.  Now, no one cares.  Now, no one gets excited at the prospects of DB7 facing the Kansas City Wizards or Real Salt Lake.  Now we are seeing signs of “Go Home Fraud.”  Now, David Beckham has transformed himself into just another false prophet.  And the beast was taken, and with him the false prophet that wrought miracles before him, with which he deceived them that had received the mark of the beast, and them that worshipped his image.  These both were cast alive into a lake of fire burning with brimstone. 

These days David Beckham is being cast alive into a lake of fire burning with brimstone.  His first season in La La Land was abysmal.  Then he tried to defect to AC Milan.  Then America’s darling, Landon Donovan, scrutinized his commitment publically.  Now this.  Now David Beckham was fined $1,000 by Major League Soccer, which said his gestures toward taunting fans suggested that they leave their seats and come on the field.  Oh, how the mighty have fallen.

When Beckham first arrived, there were tickertape parades.  When Beckham first arrived, there was much dancing and rejoicing.  There’s no joy in Mudville now.  Now, the savior is booed regularly.  During the Galaxy’s friendly game against Japan’s Oita Trinita, LA fans had already donned masks and t-shirts with the words “Let Beckham Go” scrawled upon them.  David Beckham, whether he wants to face up to it or not, has let a nation of hopeful soccer fans down.  I hope he’s proud of himself.

Public Spectacle:

Peace out homies.  Six two and Even!

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