Trevor Hoffman: Still Standing

I’ve been first and last.  Look at how the time goes past.  But I’m all alone at last.  Rolling home to you.  -Neil Young

Public Service Announcement:  Ok, here we go!  Hell’s Bells, look who it is.  Look at Trevor Hoffman.  Hells bells, you got me ringing.  Hells bells, my temperature’s high.  The man with the Major League saves record’s temperature’s high.  The man with the most devastating change up in all of baseball’s temperature’s high.  A disgusting, foul, rank, nauseating, repulsive palm ball.  Trevor Hoffman uses the same arm speed he uses to throw his fastball.  Mugs think it’s a fastball.  It sure looks like a fastball.  It sure smells like a fastball.  It sure tastes like a fastball.  But it ain’t a fastball.  It’s a Bugs Bunny change.  Watch me paste this pathetic palooka with a powerful paralyzing perfect pachyderms percussion pitch.  Yerrrr out!  I’m out?  That’s what the man said, you heard the man…!       

Last night, forty-one-year-old Trevor Hoffman recorded his 30th save of the season.  That matches Hoffman’s save total for all of last season with the Padres, when he was 40 years old.  Hoffman is only the second pitcher with two seasons of 30 or more saves after his 40th birthday.  Hoffman now joins Dennis Eckersley, who had 30 saves in 1996 for the Cardinals at age 41 and another 36 saves for St. Louis in 1997 at age 42.

Do yourselves a favor, if you get a chance, watch some Trevor Hoffman, you’ll be watching history.  You’ll be watching be probably the most underrated player in baseball today.  You’ll be watching a first ballot Hall of Famer.  He will not pass go.  He will not collect his two hundred dollars.  He will retire as the best closer of all time.  You better recognize! And dat’s de end.

Public Spectacle: 

Peace out homies.  Six two and Even!

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