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Why I Hate Derrick Rose

By: josh q. public on: Thursday, April 23, 2009 @10:16 am

Why I Hate Derrick Rose

I don’t wanna go out with you.  I don’t wanna walk around with you.  I don’t wanna walk around with you. So why you wanna walk around with me?  -Ramones

Public Service Announcement: Ok, here we go!  Like my main man George Costanza always says, “It’s not you, it’s me.”  You’re giving me the “it’s not you, it’s me” routine?  I invented “it’s not you, it’s me”!  Nobody tells me it’s them not me, if it’s anybody it’s me!  All right, George, it’s you.  You’re damn right it’s me!  It is me.  I’m a homer.  An incorrigible homer.  An incurable homer.  An  irredeemable, irreparable, uncorrectable homer.  Doh!      

I’ve got nothing against Derrick Rose.  During the regular season I lauded his exploits.  This ain’t the regular season.  This is playoff basketball.  Growed folks basketball.  Not for the feint of heart.  Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men?  Heh-heh-heh-heh-heh-heh-heh!  Playoff basketball knows. 

When the playoffs roll around, all bets are off.  I do not praise the other team.  I  come to bury Caesar, not to praise him.  Just like I came to bury LaDainian Tomlinson.  I used to love LT.  I called him the Touchdown Maker.  I called him the Shake and Baker.  The Takes the Caker.  But then he took his cake to my beloved New England Patriots and he immediately became the Big Faker.  He immediately became the  Dirty Rotten Snaker.  That’s what happens.  Like the Talking Heads always say, “Why am I going out of my head, whenever you’re around?  The answer is obvious, love has come to town.”

Ervin Johnson came to town.  I hate Magic.  Julius Erving came to town.  I hate the good Doctor.  The Bad Boys came to town.  I hate the Bad Boys.  And know this sports fans, no Kevin McHale injury back in ’87, no Bad Boys.  No ’87 Lakers for that matter.  And the list goes on.  And so it goes, and so it goes, and so it goes.  But where it’s going, no one knows.

I know.  I know exactly where it’s going.  It’s going with me hating Derrick Rose.  Everytime he does something wonderful, I will bash him.  Everytime he does something fantastical, I will smash him.  I hate Derrick Rose.  NBA basketball.  I love this game!

Public Spectacle:

Peace out homies.  Six two and Even!

Share the love baby!

Need More? Boston Celtics,Chicago Bulls,Derrick Rose,NBA

  1. 1

    This makes us mortal enemies… for the moment, that is!

  2. 2

    exactly, until its time to hate somebody else like bron bron or supe

  3. 3
    james Says:

    youre a complete faggot if you like boston teams

  4. 4
    I'm Keith Hernandez Says:

    Faggot?? Cake eater maybe, but faggot? Well it looks like good ole James aint gonna be winning that Miss America title any time soon

  5. 5
    Chip Says:

    dumb article

  6. 6

    [...] Why I Hate Derrick Rose – [JoshQPublic] [...]

  7. 7
    InGameNow » Your Almost-Friday Linkage For The Evening Says:

    [...] Why I Hate Derrick Rose [Josh Q. Public] [...]

  8. 8

    stupid bulls fans 13 yrs old tops

  9. 9

    [...] Why I hate Derrick Rose — (Josh Q. Public) [...]

  10. 10
    3ds Says:

    derrick rose is awesome

  11. 11
    fudr Says:

    Uhh, I hate Derrick Rose because he accepted all those sleazy bribes from Calipari, and he STILL gets ALL the attention. That is all.

  12. 12

    [...] This is why you should hate Derrick Rose too [Josh Q. Public] [...]