Baseball’s Back!

Now this looks like a job for me, so everybody just follow me, ’cause we need a little controversy, ’cause it feels so empty, without me.  -Eminem

Public Service Announcement:  Ok, here we go!  Look who’s back.  Back again.  Baseball’s back.  Tell a friend.  Yes folks, baseball is back and I’m giddy like a schoolgirl.  Or as dear old bubbe used to say, “A maidel mit a klaidel!”  Dear old bubbe may have used to say that, but dear old Joe DiMaggio said, “You always get a special kick on opening day, no matter how many you go through.  You look forward to it like a birthday party when you’re a kid.  You think something wonderful is going to happen.”  I look forward to it like a birthday party.  I think something wonderful is going to happen.       

I live for this!  Smell it?  Ooooh that smell.  Can’t you smell that smell?   Smells like neat’s-foot oil in that old Wilson A2000.  Smells like Derek Jeter?  Smells like Red Man.  Smells like Fenway Franks.  They plump when you cook ‘em.  Smells like spilled beer on the hot concrete.   Smells like freshly cut grass.  That was me.  I’d wake up at night with the smell of the ballpark in my nose, the cool of the grass on my feet…The thrill of the grass.  The thrill of the grass is back baby, and I’m watching all of it! 

Yes, it’s that time of year again.  Spring here again.  Time to stand up and cheer again.  Go to the old ballpark and swill eight-dollar beer again.  I love it.  The one constant through all the years has been baseball.  America has rolled by like an army of steamrollers.  It’s been erased like a blackboard, rebuilt, and erased again.  But baseball has marked the time.  Yes it has, yes it has.  I can’t wait for those steamy August nights, sitting on the back patio.   Drinking my lemonadio.  Listening to the game on my transistor radio.  But what will I be listening to?

• Who will be this year’s Cinderella?  Last year it was the Ray Pride Parade marching towards the glass slipper.  Who will it be this year?  Will it be the Marlins?  The Rangers?  My money’s on the Reds.
•  Will the Mets choke again?  Every pundit from Sports Illustrated to Buster Olney like the Mets.  Will this be their year?  Or will Queens once again shed a collective tear?
• Manny, Manny and more Manny.  Yes he canny!  Expect big things from Manny this season.  Huge things from Manny this season.  Colossal things.  Rings and things.
• As much as you heard about the Big East this college basketball season, you’ll hear more about the AL East.  The AL Beast.  That’s what happens when you’re the best division in baseball.  Who comes out on top?  Whoever faces Roy Halladay the least.
• Rookie rookie, who gets the cookie.  Matt Wieters.  That’s who.  Word on the street is Matt Wieters was the best position player in his draft.  Word on the street is Matt Wieters was the best college catcher in recent memory.  I guess he’s pretty good if you like six-five, 230-pound, switch-hitting catchers with a laser rocket arm.  I do.  I like six-five, 230-pound switch-hitting catchers with a laser rocket arm.  I like Matt Wieters.
• Predictions?  Red Sox baby, Red Sox.  That’s my prediction.  So take your shoes off.  Sit back.  Relax.  Be a Sox watcher.  Roll Sox, roll! 

Public Spectacle:

Peace out homies.  Six two and Even!

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